It was only a ten minute drive from Seth’s to the Hardware Store, adding a few minutes for the dense traffic. Everybody was out and about today, getting supplies for their celebration of choice tomorrow, be it barbeque, fireworks display, or simply a get together.
Well at least we have something in common, thought Seth, smiling to himself. Pulling in the parking lot, he recognized Jerome, one of the neighborhood kids, kicking and striking a vending machine. Exiting his car and walking towards the young man, Seth called out. “Hey Jerome! How you doin’ kiddo?” Clearly frustrated, Jerome simply sighed as he saw Seth, giving the machine another healthy kick for good measure. “Good morning, Mr.Nocere. What are you up to this early?”
“Jesus, kid…just Seth, please. You don’t have to be so damned formal with me. I’m not that old…” Now next to the teenager, Seth could see that he was flustered at an old Foal in a Can vendor, one that the owner, Dale put out front from time to time, regardless of how poorly it worked. “Was here to pick up some supplies and wanted to get it done early.”
Shaking his head as he gave the machine a quick look over he turned to Jerome. “Crazy old Dale always pulls this broken piece of junk out for the holidays. Stocks it with whatever product he can get his mitts on cheap. I remember last year this damn thing was chock full of red and green foals, all slowly freezing to death come December twenty-sixth…” The teenager was clearly still frustrated at the loss of his hard earned allowance, feeling like he had been duped. “Well is there anything you can do about it Mr.Noc…Seth?” Seeing the look of slight desperation and lingering hope in the kid, Seth gave him a devilish grin. “Wait here kid. I’ll get it sorted out.”
Walking in, Seth could see the owner behind the counter, busying himself with a well worn flyswatter. With the heat and humidity, the pests were out and in full force, much to the dismay of Old Dale. Grabbing a shopping cart, Seth set out through the isles, looking for the various implements that he’d need for today. He knew he’d need some rubber cement, and some small bricks as well. Some cheap poster board also made it’s way into his cart. Since he was here, he also opted to get some new tools: claw hammer, screwdrivers (both phillips and and flathead), and a nifty looking power drill that was leagues above his old one. Some of the band saws caught his eye, but Seth wasn’t made of money, so opted to wait on one of those, getting a decent but far cheaper hacksaw instead. Finally, in the lumber section, Seth selected several sturdy 2x4s and put the boards into his cart as well.
Pushing the cart full of his purchases, Seth approached the counter, Old Dale still cursing under his breath as he swung his antique flyswatter back and forth as he did. Only noticing Seth after he pantomimed clearing his throat loudly, the curmudgeonly man put the insect killing tool down, his hands working to the register. “Haven’t seen you around these parts goin’ on a while Seth. Whatcha been into?”
Seth adored Old Dale. Despite his old and decrepit appearance, he was actually quite tolerable once you got to know him. Seth had helped him around the shop a few times when he had fallen and busted his hip nearly six years ago. Since then, he was always friendly and helpful, at least to Seth.
“Sorry it’s been a while Dale. I’ve been busy at work. You know how it is.” Putting his items on the counter, one by one, Seth peered over to the section marked Summer Sales. “Oh, and I also wanna grab one of those…” Seth pointed to the small plastic pools made for children that were neatly stacked nearby. Scanning the items slowly, Dale gave Seth a questionable glance. “Didn’t know you had kids Seth…”
Chuckling slightly Seth shook his head. “I don’t. But I figure it’s a way to beat the summer heat.” Dale clearly knew he was up to something but didn’t pry any further. “Ok, pool included, that comes to a total of $110.” As he looked to the register for the tally, Dale swiped his hand aggressively as several flies began to flutter and buzz around his face. “Goddamn bugs! Fuckin’ scourge is what they are!” Trying not to laugh at his elderly acquaintance, Seth retorted. “You know Dale, there’s some fly ribbon in the back, near the homecare supplies. How about we make it an even $120, and then I put some outside your door?”
Smiling at Seth, Dale took off his cap to wipe his brow, using the hat as a makeshift fan as he did so. “Damn Seth, that’d really help me out! Time was I could do it me’self but now I even look at a stepladder and my bones ache. And you know how those distributors fuckin’ are! Try to use a damned nail for personal use and they sue you to the Goddamn poorhouse!” His smile quickly fading, he donned his hat again. “So whatchu wantin’?”
“Kid outside, tried using that old and busted foal vending machine. It took his money…” Seth shook his head as he grabbed his receipt from the older man. “How about you give me the key to it and I get him what he paid for and then some?” Running his hand over his stubbled face, Dale pondered the proposal. “I dunno Seth…I paid good money for those critters, and I’d like to make some kinda profit off em’…”
Shaking his head, Seth countered. “Come on Dale, you know damn well that you don’t make more than five, ten bucks off the damn thing. You remember Christmas?! We had to throw nearly ten of those cans into the bio-waste bins. And the nearest one is in the next town over! And come the fifth, who’s going to be helping you drive all that way, just to avoid a fine?”
He had a point. Dale was loathe to admit it, but Seth wasn’t wrong. “Ok then, what are we talkin’? You open her up and just take the lot?” Shaking his head, the old man was clearly not in love with the idea of eating the cost of the vending machines supply. “No, no Seth I’m sorry but that’s too much to ask.”
Not wanting to cheat his friend, Seth puzzled out a simple solution. "I’m not asking you to do that. How about this? You tell me how much you paid to fill it up, and I cover that plus a little extra for you. Seth leaned in as he continued. “And instead of hooking up that old clunker, from now on when you get a shipment, call me. We’ll sell the cheap looking ones normal price but I’ll raise the nicer ones and then you have a quality product that’ll sell for much more than a few bucks apiece. Deal?”
Nodding slowly as he thought about what Seth had said, Dale agreed. “That sounds reasonable Seth. It cost me a buck and a half each to fill it up, machine costs three bucks each. So…that’s $72 iffin’ I sold each one and $36 to fill it up, but I didn’t fill er’ up all the way this time…” Seth smiled as he reached into his wallet. “Here’s $40. I think that’s a fair price for the key.” As Dale took the bills from his hand, the old man dropped the key in his hand. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya Seth…”
Walking out with his purchases, save the swimming pool, Seth was quickly met by Jerome, following him as he walked to his car. “So…you take care of it?” Seth gently placed the buggy against his car, preventing it from rolling away. “First things first kiddo, give me a hand, will ya?”
Roping Jerome into helping him unpack his purchases, moving the pool atop his car and fastening it with bungee chords, and putting up the fly traps, he was exhausted, the summer heat not aiding matters at all. “Damn, Seth…that sure was a hell of a lotta work just to get back three bucks…” As he caught his breath, Seth walked over to Jerome, holding a pair of glass bottle colas, ice cold. “Here. And it isn’t just about the $3 kid. It’s about how people remember you.” He clinked his bottle against Jerome’s before taking a long swig from the bottle, the cool drink hitting the spot. “You don’t want someone to see you and say: “There’s that kid who was busting up a foal in a can vendor because he’s an abuse junkie”. Legal or not, you do not want that kind of shit following you around, especially at your age.” Finishing his drink with a long second gulp, Seth threw the bottle into the trash. "Now everyone who saw you today will say: “There’s that kid that helped out an old man, for nothing except the smile on the store owner’s face.”
Nodding only slightly, Seth could tell that Jerome didn’t quite get what he was saying. As a teenager, if he was outed as an abuser, then he would probably be teased or bullied. Hell, he could even be forced to go into therapy, if his mom got involved. Seth had taken a liking to Jerome a few years back and didn’t want that kind of shit to happen to him, not if he could help it.
Walking to the old and dilapidated vendor, Seth inserted the key, opening the front casing and revealing twelve canisters, each with a recently born fluffy foal inside. “Well, regardless if you follow what I’m trying to say, just be careful with your hobby kid. Now, I bought the lot of them, but in fairness, you can rifle through and pick one first.”
As they looked through the live canisters, the extreme heat taxing two of them to the point that the foals had expired, Jerome decided on a simple green foal, no more than five days old. When he grasped the tube, the foal began to instantly chirp and peep, it’s already opened eyes, darting back and forth as it’s head tried to turn to catch a glimpse at what may be their new owner.
“*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…wuv…*chirp…nyu da’deh…*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…”
Taking the remaining canisters, alive and otherwise, Seth loaded them into the back of his car. The milk gauges were mostly full on each, with a couple being a little more than half, and as for the heat, Seth simply turned over his car and turned the AC on, allowing the car to get good and cold. They’d be a little uncomfortable and noisy, but they’d survive the trip home. As for the deceased ones, he’d just throw them into the dumpster behind his apartment. He didn’t sell them so nobody could fine him for it. Finishing up, he looked to Jerome, who was violently twisting and shaking the canister, with the foal chirping madly.
“*chirp…*chirp…hewp!..*chirp…*chirp…nu huw’t…!*chirp…*chirp…fo’ wuv!..”
Walking over quickly, Seth spoke quietly as he lead Jerome behind the store. “Jesus kid, you’re killing me with this.” Once they were beyond prying eyes, Seth held his hand out. “Give.” Shaking his head, Jerome held the can firmly. “Come on man, I paid good money for this…”
“I’m not going to steal it from you. I’m going to show you how to open it without disemboweling the damn thing.” Seth pointed to the bottom of the foal’s cylindrical habitat. “See those. They’re plugs that attach to the bottom base. When the foal has to go to the bathroom, it gets drained into that.” Jerome gave a bewildered look to the canister, now noticing that as he moved it, there was indeed a liquid swishing around within the bottom cap. “Ewww…that’s nasty!”
“No, that’s practical. They buy the cheapest catheters that they can in bulk, so that way the foal doesn’t get diseased from lying around in it’s own waste.” Seth held his hand out again. “Here, let me show you how to open it.” Jerome handed it to Seth, who held it upright, much to the foal’s dismay.
“*chirp…*chirp…ba’beh nu we’ch num’ez…*chirp…*chirp…hewp ba’beh…”
His hand around the bottom base, Seth pointed out a pair of nearly invisible buttons on each side to Jerome. “See right there? You depress both of these at the same time, and…” There was a loud popping sound as both the catheters suddenly came loose, with the foal screaming as the base pulled them out suddenly.
“*screeeeeee!!! *chirp…*chirp…nu huw’t ba’beh!..*chirp…*chirp…fo’ wuv!..*chirp…*chirp…fo’ wuv!..”
“Now…she’s disconnected from the base. After that, with most of the pressure from the inside now released, you just twist the top off.” With a swift motion, Seth undid the lid, with the cansiter now open, and the foal hunkering down against the bottom, trying to be as small as possible. “Damn…where’s you learn all this man?” Jerome was clearly impressed as he watched Seth. “Do all of em’ try to hide like that?”
Seth shook his head. "Not really. While they’re all timid, they want to get out of there. They’re hardwired to want your love and unless you give them a reason otherwise, they’ll trust you. Don’t get me wrong, they all scream when they get moved around, and they’re all a peeping mess when the catheters come out, but the only reason she is so scared is because of you shaking her up so damn much. Combine that with everything else and now she thinks she’s in danger. Seth offered the canister back to Jerome. “So convince her she isn’t…”
Taking the can, Jerome suddenly looked nervous, as though he were put on the spot." How? I mean, ain’t she scared of me now?" Seth again shook his head. "She’s scared because fluffies are easily scared but most aren’t smart enough to remember what scared them in the first place. Smiling as he continued. “I once whipped one with a sorry stick until he couldn’t walk…and guess who he came to when he needed cheering up…”
Jerome looked down to the trembling foal, her peeps rapid and frantic as she covered her face with her small nubs. "Uh…there there…don’t be scared. I…I won’t hurt you. Seth tried not to laugh as the teenager awkwardly tried to improvise, with what he was saying almost sounding like he was asking the foal a question!
Apparently it was enough, as the foal, while still trembling, slowly began to try to climb to him, with the angle of the canister being too steep for her. “Tilt it down just a bit kid. Let her come to you…”
“*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…wuv…*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…nyu da’deh…*chirp…*chirp…*chirp…sab’ ba’beh…”
As Jerome tilted the can cautiously, the foal slowly crawled to him, finally reaching the end of the tube and lightly hugging his finger. “Damn Seth, she’s actually kinda cute…” Laughing, Seth patted him on the back. “Yeah, she kind of is. You know, if you don’t want to hurt her, I won’t judge…” Jerome suddenly flicked the foal’s nose hard, causing her to tumble backwards to the bottom of her can, chirping as she cried and held her now bleeding snout with her underdeveloped nubs.
“*screeeeeee!!!..*chirp…*chirp…da’deh gib huw’t…*chirp…*chirp…wai?..”
Jerome smiled at Seth as he ignored the whimpering foal. “Nah. If I wanted a pet, I’d get a dog.”
