The "Joys" of Urban Life p1 (by: Luciferthefluffyreaper25)

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(The beginning of a story about a simple man who just tried to live a normal simple life until some shit rats and assholes came along and ruined it hope yall enjoy and feel free to give feedback on my story as per usual)

Hi my names Mathew and I live a typical suburban lifestyle or I used to until the infestation started, when hordes of those god awful shitrats came in droves, killing gardens, flowers, and my joy because I loved to garden and I loved my wellkept flowerbeds. While I hated fluffies I did own one, his name was Francis and he was a well trained earthie with a beautiful bright blue coat and a earth green mane. He was a amazing fluffy companion who I always enjoyed spending time with, until that day when a herd descended on my backyard and he was there harmlessly doing his business…

I let him out to go to go play in the sun like he always enjoyed to do but after about 15 minutes I stopped hearing his happy giggling and laughs of having fun, I knew something was wrong and wasn’t aware of the invasion of my block yet. So when I opened the door I was stormed by a massive herd as a smarty in front of me loudly and proudly proclaimed. “Dis am smawties wand nao! Gib dah hooman foweba sweepies!” He said as a couple of weak looking earthies charged at me which I was able to just kick away but by that point over 20 of those shit rats had gotten into my house and had dispersed to cause all sorts of chaos all over my fucking house.
While that pissed me off, what truely struck a nerve was seeing the beaten, bloody, and crying lump in my backyard that was Francis, he was in a very bad shape so I quickly slammed the door on the smarty to trap him and his shitass friends inside my house. While they could destory things nothing was more important than my fuzzy little friend. As I quickly ran over to him and scooped him up I examined his body and wad able to determine he was badly hurt but it seemed his ego was more bruised than his body. “Fwancis am sowwy daddeh… Fwancis nu stop smawty…” he said with a sad chirp.
I smiled and gave him some loving pets to know I wasn’t upset with him and that I was proud he tried to protect the home, however I needed to get rip of those fuck heads in one way or another so I got to work thinking up a plan when a old friend popped up into my head. If I lured them by my garden I could simplely off them as I wished and maybe keep a few depending, as Francis was often lonely when I wasn’t home so why not get him a friend or two. As I put Francis in my shed with some spare food and water for safe keeping I began my long and annoying task of defluffying my house after getting a quick fix for the hole they dug under my fence. Upon opening my door I saw the pregnant mares scatter from inside the kitchen as they ran as fast as they could, which some couldnt at alll as their legs flailed helplessly trying to run from me. I simply picked them up and threw them into my back yard area. Watching them fly through the air was quite satisfying and watching all the other fluffies gasp in horror as their “soon mommahs” got hurt or injured. I only tossed about 2 or 3 of them but that was enough to make laugh for several minutes. Watching them cry and scream for help as the others gathered around to try and help them was hilarious. However I still hadn’t seen that dumb smarty since I slammed the door in his face earlier and while I felt bad for being so cruel to most fluffies, smarties were a exception to that rule as I often took joy in dispatching the stuck up pricks that they often were. After looking around for a bit I still couldn’t seem to find the little shit, then again most of the herd that had gotten in was now outside in the backyard consoling the pregnant mares that I rudely evicted from my house.
Crying and moaning filled the backyard which only brought a slight smirk on my face as I finally found the little shit inside of my own bedroom, going to town on the bag of fluffy treats that I had in my closet. I sat there for a bit after closing the door behind me. I chuckled to myself as he loudly crunched and munched like a greedy pig before he soon noticed my presence and then began to run away screeing for his life. “Nu huwt smawty, dis am smawtys wand!” He said with puffed cheeks as he soon realized he couldn’t escape my room since I had closed the door.
I simply laughed as I punted him like a football into the nearest wall. Afterwards I picked him up by the tail and then began to walk back to the backyard with him dangling there limply. I most likely broke his back but honestly hes lucky I didn’t do worse…

(Feel free to comment and let me know how this one is going and if I should continue it, as recently ive just felt I can’t get as back into the groove of writing as I have in the past which is why i havent posted much or even tried to continue my current 2 other ongoing stories ive been making) (thanks for reading and I hope yall enjoyed it or atleast found it amusing)

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Hmm a paralyzed smarty intristing

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I think this is going great so far far, you have the herd evicted into thr backyard and now you need to fiure out whst to do with them. I have an idea BUT you dont have to choose it ofc. If you have a empty bird bath on a pillar or a garden table, put the smarty in a tight fitted cardboard box thst is big enough that he can fit in but small enough that just reaches the shoulders. That way he’s immobilized and he’ll be forced to watch you do what you’re gonna do with the herd leaving him last. Its very satisfying especially when the smarty vows revenge and promises to bring a bigger herd to avenge his herd before you bring justice to the smarty.

Again you dont have to to this I was just speaking my thoughts and what I’d do in that situation after tgey hurt a pet of mine.

Also the Smarty box part I admit came from this comic on reddit Reddit - Dive into anything

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Thanks for the suggestion I really appreciate it.I might just do that to be honest as I do love to take suggestions and put them into my own ideas as a melded monster of a good story!

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Thanks!

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You’re welcome and i appreciate you liking that idea XD also idk what your headcanon is on fluffy speed and strengtg but for my stuff or what i read they waddle and are easy to catch and their bits at worst, at their strongest is like a nip like weaker than a puppy but only slightly stings if that makes any sense lol. I say this because IF the rest of the herd follow Smarty’s ideals, you could do different methods of punishment such as:

  • Give them spaghetti or lasagna laced with chilli sauce…it’ll burn goingvin and coming out even when they do scared poopies.

  • If your fridge or garden has or grows Parsley, give it to the soon mummahs as that can induce miscarriage in the mares flushing their systems and basically aborting them… especially if they have BMS (Bitch Mare Syndrome, basically they act entitled, demanding best treatment for bestest babbeh and neglect brown foals and worse kill alicorn foals aka munstah babbehs just cuz they have a horn and wings)

  • if there are any “poopy babbehs” in the herd forced to eat poop or getting abused, put them eith Francis for safety with food or milk.

  • You could poison the herd to death with chocolate or weirdly enough watermelon and they drown… dont ask me how they managed to do that… Fluffies are a weird kinda thing. Or give them extra rich kibble that will fatten them and the cruel foals to the point of obesity to which everything’s laboured then then slower thrn immobile thrn their hearts give out from their obesity. Disclaimer thats a long game method which make take 5 or so days for the end result and they may become more flatulent but poop less often minus the occasional diarrhea due to poor dieting.

  • If the smarty is a unicorn, place your finger on the tip of the horn, then push it like a button. Due to their bobe structure the skull will give way atound the horn and will go into the brain, this won’t kill the Smarty but it will derp them into a dummeh… it will probably be satufying doing that after their viw of revenue n whatnot… tho theyll probably have less control over their bowels n stuff after this but he will behave more friendly so you can keep the derped smarty, put him in a shelter, spayneuter him etc. By that point he and the herd wont hurt Francis or the brown foals ever again.

Sorry for slow reply, not a fast typer :sweat_smile: feel free to use these ideas or do your own spin on them if they fit your story or plans lol

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Good story

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Stimulating the nervous system by inserting a needle in between the spine (between the Cervical and Thoracic area) and skewering a needle in his balls and connecting both to a low current can cause excruciating pain. The lower current allows the fluffy to survive thus can be used continuously.

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Please fucking murder that smarty. Slowly. As an example to his shithead herd.

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What a novel concept and sentence structure

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