One general trend of fluffspeak is that all fluffies inherently know certain words and phrases. For example: “huggies”, “babbeh nee’ miwkies”, “special fwiend”, “bad upsies”, etc. In some stories, they can be trained to learn new words too, but my focus is on what fluffies are biologically programmed with. Has anyone put together a list of the fluffy pony innate lexicon? Or, alternatively, what works/phrases do community members think all fluffies should know?
When I write, I lean pretty heavily into fluffies being programmed creatures with predictable responses, so I’m interested in what the community thinks that would include.
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Since in your head canon, fluffies are programmed creatures, it’s fairly easy to figure out what phrases they should know if you consider their original design specification (companion toys for small girls) then add a large dollop of corporate greed/marketing.
You’ve got the basic ‘demonstration’ mode to encourage the customer to buy them, so stuff like “Hewwo nice mista/wady! Hab nyu homsies fo fwuffy?”, and catchphrases like ‘Fwuffies am fo huggies and wub’.
You need some basic terms for interactions and actions (e.g. ‘huggies’, ‘upsies’, ‘poopies’), objects (‘fwuffies’, ‘nummies’, ‘nestie’, etc) and programmed ‘cute’ behaviour (e.g. ‘espowing’).
Since they’re going into a family environment, they need terms for things that a family might have, for example other pets (e.g. ‘barkie fwend/munsta’, ‘meowie fwend/munsta’).
You then need some customer instructional terms like harm avoidance (e.g. ‘wawa bad fo fwuffies’, ‘bad upsies’), damage to the unit (‘wowtest huwties!’) or ‘this unit is now defective and needs replacement’ (‘Wan die’).
If you’re interested in the subject, OculusFluffy’s Fluffnation series explored Fluff speak being its own distinct language, much like Jamaican patois.
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Can’t forget about spaghetti. I don’t remember the author but a story I read eons ago was that the marketing team at Hasbio tested several different “favorite foods” for fluffies and found the way they asked for ‘sketties’ the cutest and I always liked that take on it. It’s a reminder that fluffies are cutesy little girl toys first and foremost. Whether they know spaghetti is pasta and tomato sauce or just think any noodle dish is a form of ‘sketties’ varies but I think the latter is generally funnier.
As for me personally I imagine all fluffies, besides the obvious, can at least count to four and mares instinctively know the basic mummah song (‘mummah wub babbehs, babbehs wub mummah’). They also know “wawa bad” and while they are preprogrammed to give preferential treatment to “pwetty babbehs,” most can be trained out of it. Alicorn fear is just a side effect of them being stupid as fuck and can also usually be trained away. Those that can’t have “bugs” in their programming like bitch mare syndrome or smarty syndrome.
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*Pregnancy unlocks an additional language directory. It doesn’t make a fluffy any smarter, but without these basic additions their foals would likely die. *
From the original lab notes:
In its natural domestic environment, the Fluffy is meant to be cleaned by hand. It is not physically capable of cleaning matted material (usually feces) from the fluff on the back-side of its body. So this bit of code was added to mares in the original family breeding pens.
IF [baby] [no / smell / pretty] THEN [lick / clean] OVERRIDE [no / taste / pretty] [no / touch / genitals] [no / touch / anus] [no / mouth / baby]
However, given the limited space in a fluffy’s programming, the line of code above has led to instances of foal cannibalism. We also discovered that these lines of code transferred genetically to both males AND females, leading to some instances of foal rape by males.
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