The SkettiLand Trappers; From sea to shining sea-fluffy. (Creeper)

Thompson lake had become infested with sea-fluffies and had turned a once popular fishing spot into a virtual rainbow oil slick splashing about eating everything and choking out the native species. the water itself had started to turn brown from the constant shitting from the ever growing overly populated sea-fluffs. Well the county of Glennville wasn’t too happy about this, the revenue from fishing license sale having dropped significantly, so with the help of the SkettiLand trappers a special event was taking place today. One side of the half-mile wide lake had several dozen aluminum and pontoon boats full of people in their hunting gear and life jackets and Jake stood on one of the many docks with the rest of the crew behind him. With megaphone in hand Jake addressed the waiting crowd.

“I’d like to start off by saying thank you everyone for coming to today’s special event to raise money for the repair of Earl Coleson’s house. our own local celebrity who’s house was damaged fighting a meta and the insurance company denied the claim as some of the damage was caused by Earl himself fighting the monster!”

The crowds of people booed at the news and Jake had to gesture for them to settle down before he could continue.

“Yes, yes, I know, tragic but thanks to your ticket purchases for this event we have raised enough money to fix Earl’s house!”

The crowds cheered, hollered and whistled at the good news and Jake once again had to gesture with his caste covered arm for them to settle down.

“Remember! First to collect one sea-fluff of every primary color, male and female, adult and foal wins a new Rangemaster 9000 compound hunting bow! Second gets five hundred bucks and a weekend pass to Jimmie’s arcade and abusement park and a mystery prize to whoever lands the biggest! And don’t forget, no explosives, no scuba or snorkeling and no drag nets! We don’t want anyone getting shot by a stray arrow and I see a LOT of bow fishers out there. So when I blow this air horn the competitions on! Are you ready? 3…2…1!”

the air horn blared and the outboards roared to life driving the boats across the lake in search of the nearest school of sea-fluffs.

Earlier that day on the lake under the surface life for the schools of sea-fluffs had been sweet, till winter came and the sea-weed and other grasses became scarce. sea-fluffies took to it better staying in tight schools to keep warm. But now the water had melted and the weeds that lined the lake shore made a tempting meal for the more adventurous ones. they gathered in long rows along the shore chewing at the fledgling stalks of cat-tails, tall grasses and dragging them under water to feed their special friends and weanling foals. there were few predatory fish and birds in Thompson lake so the attrition rate for foals was surprisingly low, save for freezing, and the mummahs had lots of babbehs to nurse. Seaweed was a shiny blue Stallion with a green mane and one of the oldest sea-fluffs in the lake, having been dumped here by his former owner along with his special friend. together the two commanded the largest school of sea-fluffs in the lake, having sired most of them as did others who were dumped in later when the sea-fluff fad hit it’s seasonal low. Cyan, his special friend, was named after her fluff color with a white mane had just become a soon mummah a few days ago and she was already feeling the increased hunger. they both ventured to the shore for anything they could forage, nummies had become harder and harder to find in just a few years they had to venture further up shore for the tall grassies. the bitter crunch of the marshy plants was better than nothing, feasting as fast as they could when they were approached by another crawling up the shore.

-Gib smawty gwassie nummies nao! need nummies fow special fwend tummy bebbehs!

Seaweed ignored the rival smarty except to slap him across the face fore and backhanded in one motion then finished with a downward swat that bounced his chin off the sandy ground.

-Gu way ow Seaweed git angy.- Never turning away from the grass he was chewing on.

The smarty’s eyes welled up from the pain and a trickle of blood ran down his snout and scooted back into the water without a word sniffling the whole way. Eating what ever they could find neither getting a full belly so they returned to the water to escape the biting cold to the warmth of their school. huddling together with the near hundred of others of their own children they collectively tried to find more food but was coming up short, having not giving anything a chance to grow before it was eaten entirely. even the little fishies only big enough to make a mouthful if they ate several at once were becoming just as scarce and as Seaweed chased a tiny school of them leaving the safety of the school he was confronted by the same smarty he had smacked down before with his own school now backing him up.

-Dummeh nu so tuffy nao! gun gib wostest owwies nao! heh heh heh… Gun ma–SCREEEEEEEEEEE!

Seaweed never let the smarty finish and bit down hard on the end of his snout and just as quickly swam back to his own school with the bulk of the other school in chase, dragging the other smarty with him. the two schools clashed hard, head-butting, biting and ripping off flippers, tails and any other body part that stuck out. the problem with fighting like that underwater is that the resulting blood and shit that so easily leaks out of fluffies of any type is that it all clouds up like smoke. soon they were all coughing and choking as watery clouds of blood and shit filled their noses and gills forcing the two schools to separate. during all the chaos few had noticed the collection of boats gathering on the surface, some of the younger and dumber ones swam up to them and got caught in the spinning outboard blades as they zipped about the lake. almost in unison they all stopped and the people in the boats started to throw something in the water, little brown dots floating on the surface with wisps of brown coloring separating from them and it carried a enticing smell. Sketties. like starving piranha they swarmed the surface as the humans threw in more and many sea-fluffs popped their heads up to thank the nice humans for the nummies. After a minute of feasting it started, the first shot sent a tethered arrow and hooked head pierced through a green mare’s face and two others unfortunate enough to be behind her. the line went taunt and the three were yanked clean out the water while the rest stared frozen in shock, bits of kibble floating out of their slack jaws. Seconds later a hailstorm of arrows came raining down, dozens were impaled and dragged screaming to the surface and they finally started to dive to escape. Seaweed did his best to shield Cyan with his body, dodging arrows as they dove deeper than the arrows could travel at lethal speeds, but one managed to catch the edge of one of his back flippers. the sudden yank brought Seaweed to a complete stop but tore out a large chunk of the flipper too and now Cyan had to pull him to the rest of the way to the bottom.

-Fwippie haf biggest owwies! Speciaw fwend save Seaweed! Meanie hooman munstahs!

Of course there were many sea-fluff, like their land dwelling counterparts, that lived by the “if I can’t see it, it can’t see me” method of living simply covered their faces and were soon shot and hauled up. The people in the boats threw in more kibble but no sea-fluff dared move, cowering in the cold darkness at the lake bed, then the hunters dropped in something new. Earl had reached out to some of his friends and they had rigged up a waterproofed tethered ultrasonic pet trainer for many of the hunters and were now dropping the little blue boxes in. a human wouldn’t hear a thing but any animal out there, fluffies included, it was an ear shattering screech that compelled them upward as the boxes sank to the bottom.

-EEEEEEEE! Too woud! Too scawey! Sowwy speciaw fwend! Hu hu huuu!- Cyan cried as she swam straight up abandoning Seaweed who tried to keep up.

-NU speciaw fwend! Uppies fuwwa sowwy sticks! Pwease fwippy swim fasta need save speciaw fwend!- Blood still leaking from his torn flipper.

Too little, too late, an arrow caught the edge of her front left flipper and started dragging her up crying and begging her flipper to stop hurting her. as her tail started to breach the surface Seaweed latched onto her and pulled as hard as he could yanking the arrow free he dove again as far as he could stand the noise. But the arrows could still reach them so Seaweed pulled the weeping Cyan towards the shore finding refuge in the half exposed roots of a heavily leaning tree they wept and held each other. they watched helplessly as almost their entire school was decimated, being dragged up into the boats by the arrows and the foals scooped up into fishing nets by the dozen. The tops of their heads peaked through the surface giving them a simultaneous view of the carnage above and below the surface. Others had also tried to escape to the shore, their weak flippers struggling to pull their waterlogged bodies through the sandy dirt only to become an even easier targets. they watched as those impaled by the arrows were sent sailing through the air when the hunter pulled the lines in, one cracking its head on the side of the boat. After what seemed like too many forevers the people in the boats slowly started to stop and returned to shore.

“Well it looks like we have a winner folks!” Jake announced to the stragglers with the megaphone. “First place goes to fifteen year old Ted Hawthorne! good job kid, congrats. with runner up going to Arne Conners! Now the rest of you look though your collection and find your biggest one for weigh in for the mystery prize!”

The winner of the mystery prize brought in a twelve pound four ounce purple stallion, after it’s bowels had been voided of course, and now hung from the scale’s hook by a flipper, begging for release. and the prize? A custom made sorry stick designed by Earl, a black carbon fiber collapsible baton with razor sharp bladed sides and a row of spikes on the opposite sides that spaced out in it’s extended form. the rest of the contestants turned in their kills for The SkettLand E&C crew to drop into their portable grinder and as the day started to run into the late afternoon. Before they left they backed two water trailers up to the shoreline, the kind meant to transport large amounts of live fish and opened the release valves. Hundreds of pike that had been selected and approved by the local fish and game wardens, spilled into the lake. large, haven’t eaten in days hungry and an indiscriminate predatory palette the invasive sea-fluffs would be the easiest of prey.

Jake, later that evening walked through his front door where Earl sat on his couch, he had to bunk up at Jake’s till his house was fixed. He stood before him with a triumphant look on his face while Earl fiddled with his hospital issued prosthetic arm with a screwdriver, the forearm panel sitting on the coffee table.

“I can assume by your smile the competition was a success?”

“Enough to fix your house and put a dent in your bills, till your next royalty check from FluffCo. rolls in. How’s the new arm treating you?”

“Shitty, it’s only got nerve sensors in the palm that wont stop tingling, it’s clumsy and slow and the battery life sucks ass. I can’t wait for the Proteus mark 9 to get here.”

“Hold on, I saw the price for that arm. It’s a thirty thousand dollar prosthetic and you’re still forty in the red. How’d you afford that?..What’d you do?”

"Relax, I just liquidated some assets. I sold my copyright for the portable grinder and fridge to FluffCo. for a fat nine million, it’s worth eleven but a took the other two in trade.

“Eleven million?! then why’d we even have this damn charity event for if you could have done that from the start?!” The irritation obvious in his voice.

“Calm down, I didn’t get the idea till this afternoon. I’ve been taking a lot of painkillers and weed recently y’know?” Gesturing to the cast and surgical steel bar holding his left leg together. “I… ran out of weed… the idea hit me when I sobered up, okay? You can give the money to charity or something.”

"Oh I intend to. we’ll talk about this more later.

Seaweed and Cyan stayed huddled together holding each other through the night crying themselves to sleep in a group of others that had found refuge in the sunken tree roots. It was almost midday when hunger finally drove them out, slowly but hesitantly in search of food, the smell of boo boo juice in the water kept them on constant edge. they found little more than a few tiny clusters of seaweed and more than a few body parts and other survivors, few knew where or who was from who’s schools but they stayed close together out of fear. it didn’t take long before the pikes found them, it was quick and sudden, the starving predators struck swimming faster than the sea-fluffs by a mile, two or three would strike and rend a single fluff in seconds. Seaweed and Cyan tried to reach the safety of their old hiding spot when two pikes struck Cyan by the back of her neck and her exposed teats, ripping her open in a tug-o-war when a third clamped down on a flipper. Seaweed stopped swimming and just floated there mere feet away, slack jawed and face blank, as her body vanished in a cloud of blood the last thing he saw was a large set of sharp teeth biting him in the face.

24 Likes

Pike
Whew lad

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Damn this was a good invasive and extermination of seafluff poor seaweed, survival comes first and your below the food chain.

6 Likes

Well done!
I can only hope the sea fluffies saw proper use as food for the whole town!

4 Likes

I’ve been bitten by a big northern, and it definitely wasn’t nice. RIP seafluffos, you never had a chance.

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nope. off to the kibble factory to be made into canned sketties.

1 Like

Mmmm meat sauce

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I doubt that stuff is fit for human consumption, hell from reading the rest of the series I doubt it’s fit for fluffy consumption too

that’s why they wring the literal shit out of them before dropping them into the grinder.

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Finally Nature restores.