Jacob Bruni eyed the shivering foal in the can, his tiny body curled in a protective ball as the sudden jostles and movements over the last three hours took their toll on the terrified infant.
“Well… it’s a Foal-in-a-can.”
Francisco chuckled. “I know that Jacobi, my question is what can be done to help it?”
Jacob sat down at the table opposite his uncle, beside him Kathy Parker held Daniels in her lap, the brown stallion eyed the burgundy foal curiously.
“Wai am babbeh in gwass fing? Babbeh tuu wittew tu be way fwom his mummah.”
“It’s a long story Danny.” Kathy said as she scratched his chin. “And a fairly mean one, Mister Frank has done a good thing and saved this little one. Although I’m not sure why.”
The raised eyebrow towards Francisco told him everything he needed to know, after knowing the young woman for several years he was well-aware of her ability to speak without saying a word.
“Call it curiosity mixed with some loneliness and a desire to help someone unfortunate. I told you both about me looking after Mary and Joseph, well it got me thinking about owning a Fluffy of my own. I had intended to adopt one from a reputable source but… well I found a Vending Machine and couldn’t in all good consciousness leave without trying to do something.”
Kathy gave Francisco a knowing smile. “How tempted were you to take more than just one?”
“I am a man of the cloth Ms Parker, I do not allow myself to be ruled by temptation. But yeah, it was hard not to take more.”
“You can’t save all of them.”
“That’s what my sergeant said after… well you know the story.”
Jacob and Kathy nodded, both knowing Francisco old army tales. Jacob then leaned forward, speaking in a low voice so as not to upset Daniels, who thankfully had seen a fly buzzing about the room and was now fully engrossed in seeing where the buzzy friend was hiding.
“Are you sure a Fluffy is the best idea Uncle Frank? I mean I love Daniels but he’s been a handful, and that’s nothing to say on She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”
“Actually…” Kathy interjected. “…I think Frank’s made the right choice here.”
“You do?” The two men asked almost simultaneously.
“Yeah, look you’ve both been prejudiced by your own experiences, Frank you had a wonderful time with two lovely little idiots and Jacob, you met the literal Hell-Bitch and mistakenly let her into your home. Fluffies aren’t complicated but they’re not as simple as people make them out and it takes the right training for them to avoid Smarty Syndrome. Now Foal-In-A-Can is fricking awful, I hate it as a concept, but that poor little guy has never known comfort in his life, the minute Frank shows him any form of affection he’s gonna imprint Frank as his dad so fast that he might as well be God. No offence Frank.”
Francisco waved off Kathy’s comments with a chuckle. “None taken Kathy, please continue.”
“My point is, that kid is going to be easy to train because he’s going to be so happy to have love and warmth that any threat of losing that will put him in line. Now I’m not saying it’ll be perfect, you probably will have to discipline him at some point, but I’m talking a couple whacks of the sorry stick instead of ten or twenty.”
“Nu wike sowwy-stik.” Daniels muttered under his breath.
Jacob reached over and tickled Daniels chin. “I know you don’t bud, but we’ve not used it in a while, and if you continue to be a good boy for the rest of the month then we’ll get you a new friend.”
The three adults laughed at Daniels excited face before Francisco turned to Kathy, his hand absently stroking the canned foal, as though somehow it could feel him through the glass.
“So if can-foals are really that much easier to train, why aren’t they more popular, at least in terms of people using them?”
“I can give you four reasons off the top of my head. One: The Hugboxer crowd fucking hate them.”
“Bad wowdies Miss Kath-ee.”
“Sorry Danny. Anyway, the protest on the few around alone is enough to disparage stores from putting them up permanently, usually only doing so when they have a surplus of stock. Two: Buying a foal-in-a-can means you’re just buying the foal, not any of the amenities you need to look after a Fluffy. Most first time Fluffy buyers will go to a Fluff-Mart first and 90% of them will return since they know what to expect. Three: As you would’ve seen yourself Frank, the inability to see what you’ve purchased will put a lot of people off since most folk would like at least a decent looking Fluffy to add some colour to their life. But I think the most important reason is the can itself, specifically how to get the foal out of it.”
Francisco gently picked the can up and looked it over, while there were instructions on the lid on how to remove it safely, the writing was so small and cluttered with so many warning signs it was damn near illegible.
“It’s like they want you to kill the poor thing.”
Kathy solemnly nodded. “It’s never been confirmed but remember how I said the machines will only pop up when there’s a surplus, what’s an easier way of getting rid of that surplus than by allowing your consumer base to kill it off.”
“My word, that’s cruel.”
“That’s capitalism. Now thankfully there is a way to get him out of the can, but it has to be done very slowly and very carefully, even more so cause he’s a boy and that catheter is not gonna cooperate.”
“Wha am cath-a-tah Miss Kath-ee?”
“You don’t want to know Danny.”
“Do you know how to open it?” Francisco asked.
Kathy nodded, passing Daniels over to Jacob. “Now to start, do you see the three latches on the lid, right along the seal between the lid and the glass?”
Francisco eyed the can, and soon found three latches spaced evenly around the can. “I found them.”
“Good, flick them all up but do it slowly, each of them are basically the on/off switch for a function in the can, pee, poop and oxygen. Once all of them are off the foal is gonna panic a little bit but if we do this right he won’t be in there too long.”
Francisco did as he was told and slowly lifted each of three latches, there was a small hiss on each one as it was raised up, Francisco could see inside the can as the tubes connected to the foals penis and anus turned from yellow and brown to clear as they switched off the pressure. Sure enough, the poor guy started freaking out, his tiny limbs shaking as he tried to find something resembling comfort, his only solace being the rubber nipple with its passable excuse for milk.
Kathy saw the foal suckling away and sighed. “Now the shitty part, there’s a forth latch, on the other end of the can, there should be a print of the Hasbio logo, it’ll be just under that, it controls the milk flow.”
Even with Kathy’s instructions it was hard for Francisco to find the latch, painted over so well that it near enough blended into its surroundings. But eventually he caught sight of it and lifted that latch as well, another hiss let out as the milk flow to the rubber nipple was cut off.
Now the foal had no comforts, the can was sound-proofed by Francisco could see the little guy’s terrified peeping as he blindly looked around for someone, anyone to make the nightmares go away.
Kathy continued with her instructions. “Now grip the lid and twist it to the right, NOT the left, you want to hear it make a clicking sound before you do anything else, and this will take some effort so if it feels like nothing’s happening at first that’s normal.”
Being careful not to upset the can too much, Francisco gripped the lid tightly and turned. Sure enough, it felt like it wasn’t budging at first, Francisco wondered if it was his old man muscles working against him but he held on tighter until finally he heard the click followed by another hiss.
“What did that do?”
“Equalised the pressure, made sure the poor bastard’s guts didn’t blow out when the lid opened. Now you can twist it to the left, not by much, one turn or even a half-turn will do. Once it comes loose pull it so that the tubes are tense but not causing the foal any harm.”
Francisco nodded and slowly turned the can lid to the left, he watched as the tubes in the foal started to cross, no doubt causing discomfort in the already frightened little guy. As Kathy had said, it only took a half turn for the lid to become loose, not wanting to risk anything, Francisco placed the can on the table and gently pulled the lid away until the catheter tubes tensed up.
‘PEEP PEEEP, CHIRP’
The traumatised cries of the infant foal shot through everyone in the room, Daniels turned and hid his face in Jacob’s shirt.
“Wai am dey huwting babbeh daddeh?”
“They’re not bud, they’re trying to save him from the hurty-tube, but they need to be careful or else he might have even worse hurties.”
“Huu, Daniews hope babbeh am ok.”
Kathy reached into her pocket and pulled out a nail-file. “You’ll need this, along the rim of the lid they’ll be a red switch, it’ll be a tiny thing, use the file to flick it.”
Francisco took the file and eyed the edge of the lid, looking for the switch, after a couple glances he found it and with only some minor manoeuvring he was able to reach the file in to flick it. There was a couple of small pops and the two catheter tubes was released from the lid, as was a mild stench of shit but that was manageable.
Kathy smiled. “That should be you, the tubes still inserted into him still need to be removed but that’ll be easier once he’s out of the can and you have all the time in the world to help him. Otherwise, Father Bruni, you are now a Fluffy owner.”
Francisco carefully tilted the can, since the foal was coming out bottom first he was cautious not to allow the still attached tubes to be shaken or moved as much as possible. The foal’s limbs shook as he began to slide out of the only home he had ever known, only to land in the warm hand of Francisco Bruni.
The foal was confused at first, but something in his programming told him this was a human’s touch, the most important touch of all, and he twisted his tiny body so that he could wrap his hoofs around Francisco’s thumb while his blind mouth started suckling on the tip.
It was goddamn precious.
“Can Daniews hib wittew babbeh huggies daddeh?”
“Not yet bud, maybe later once he’s been fed. You sure you’re ready for this Uncle Frank?”
“Well the Good Lord knows there’s much to be done here…”
Francisco looked down at the foal in his hand, as his free fingers stroked the colt’s burgundy face he swore he saw the foal’s smiling as he felt the comfort of a loving touch for the first time in his life.
“…But we can’t expect God to do all the work.”
So I’ve been feeling less bloodthirsty lately and I figured it was about time I returned to this story of Father Bruni and the tombola foal I did nothing with.
I know this chapter was a bit talky but I wanted to get the lore-dump out of the way so I could focus on Franciso and the foal going forward. And prepare yourself because it’s gonna be Hugbox Boulevard from here on out.
Now comes the part he be taking care of it 
I love it, canned foals are such a unique concept in this world. Despite how barbaric they are they give me a morbid fascination with how they work. I’m hoping this little boy has a happy life.