We Know Not What We Do -- Part 8 - By Spaghetti Dave

We Know Not What We Do
Part 8

It was another late night for Steve. After class there was some studying followed with some drinking. Sure, it was cutting into his sleep, but he needed some way to unwind. He needed to pass everything, and pass the classes with more than a C. This was the final semester, just three more classes and the associates degree would be in hand. After that, the plan was to transfer to a larger college for the engineering degree. So, he couldn’t screw this up. He was so close he could taste it. ~BURRRRP!~ That tasted li tequila…

~SLAM~ Too much force, too drunk to control his body, the door slammed. He thought he heard some noise, but maybe that was his head against the wall as he lost balance. Coat and shoes and even his pants ended up strewn about the living room. Future Steve is gonna have a bad bad morning. Present Steve needs water and aseata… assah… assatama… Tylenol. Again he stumbled into the wall but lucky him he made it to the bathroom.

~FLUSH~ “Steve, goooood jorb.” He patted himself on the head “you did good poopies.” He shushed himself, he could hear a tiny voice calling out for him. His brain took a bit too long to remember he had two fluffies. They were right there, behind that closed door. He loved his fluffies! Well… He loved Mocha. Prince, well, he didn’t like him that much, he could tell. But no matter that it was almost 2am. He got down onto his knees before opening the door. It’s so I can be closer and pick them up, not cuz I can’t stand.

The door opened and Mocha flung herself at Steve. She gave him a look of unconditional love. Her tiny body hugging at his knee, her wings fluttering. It was a soft, warm, ball of love. He scratched around her ears and then down her back, giggles and baby noises emanating from her mouth. Prince, however, he wasn’t joining in. Quietly he just watched the scene, the love showered onto Steve. Prince was still half way to the litter box, a small pile of poop behind him.

In one hand Steve scooped up Mocha. He was going to stand and walk over to Prince, but that would require balance. Instead he awkwardly held onto Mocha crawled towards the purple fluffy. Only elbows and knees. Mocha giggled the entire time, of course she would, daddy was acting like a fluffy. “Hey buddy. How ya feeling?”

Prince blinked slow and looked down at his stump, looked back at the pile of poop, his eyes then meeting Steve’s. “Pwince been bettah…”

“I’m sorry little guy. It was an accident. I saw ~urp, hic~ I saw you smacking Mocha and accidentally kicked you. I didn’t mean it, buddy. I didn’t wanna hurt you.” He straightens himself, petting Mocha, who still fits into his hand, even if her legs spill over. Prince struggles to his hooves to make his way back to the pillow bed. In the process he manages two steps before face planting with a chirp.

Steve didn’t like that, not at all. He grabbed Prince by the scruff and lifted him up which set the fluffy into a panic. “Chirp! Nu upseis! Bad upseis! Bad Upsies! Chirp Chirp! Pwease nu huwt Pwince!” His hind legs flailed a bit as his bladder released, his face half hidded by his front leg. Steve could see both Prince’s eyes were tightly closed.

Mocha squirmed about on his hand and started smacking to get his attention. “NU HUWT BRUDDAH!” Pat pat pat her tiny soft hooves went on his hand.

“I’m not hurting him! What the fuck is wrong with you two!?” Both Prince and Mocha froze in fear. “Jesus fucking christ, I was just trying to help you up.” He dropped Prince onto the pillow, his purple body bounced once from the impact, another chirp forced out of him. “And you, I’m not hurting him.” His free hand now grabbing Mocha by the scruff. “Who the fuck do you think you are telling me what to do? I saved you two. You’d be dead, like your shitty ass mother. Dead. FO-EBA-SWEEP-IES.” He said it loud and slow. He brought his hand up and flicked Mocha hard on the nose. Not hard enought to break her, but hard enough that she started to bleed.

She screeched in pain, her dangling legs curled against her body and the tears started. Mocha was quite a sight to behold, even to Prince. She sobbed a full body flailing loud sob. Steve could almost make out what she was saying through the tears and crying, something about no wub, nee’ huggies, and nu huwt babbeh. Steve was not having it. “Stop your fucking crying!” And she did, the only sounds were the hiccups that started up. He dropped her onto her bed, she also bounced and chirped. A small blood stain remained from the site of impact.


Mocha’s lip trembled, her nose hurt so bad, there was so much red boo-boo juice all over. With a wince, she’d wipe it away, only for more to come out. So much boo-boo juice. Quietly she mumbled to herself “boo-boo jooce stahp…” Daddeh had turned off the light when he slammed the door shut.

Why daddeh nu wub Pwince? Why daddeh gif babbehs bigges’ owies? She was too scared to sleep alone. With a sigh she heaved herself up and off of her pillow, making her way over to Prince. Why Pwince nu tawk? She pondered. “Pwince, Mocha wan sweepie hewe. Cuz… cuz yu habe owies an’ nee Mocha fo fwuff piwe.” She wasn’t gonna ask him permission, she was gonna tell him. Because she’s his strong sister! Yeah! She stomped her foot to emphasize she meant business. Prince just blinked.

“Otay…” He stretched a bit to allow her to curl up against him. “Mocha… daddeh nu wub Pwince.”

She couldn’t believe what he was saying, “dat nu twue. Daddeh wub yu. An daddeh wub Mocha.” She couldn’t believe what she was saying either. Babbehs need love, and milk. And hugs. And mummah songs. And daddeh. He’s not around much for any of that. Her tiny heart felt heavy as she drifted off to sleep, glad that she still had the best fluffy brother she could want.


Prince tried to sleep, it wasn’t easy. Any movement, himself or Mocha would bring a jolt of pain to the still healing wound. He watched his sister, the dummeh poopie babbeh. And she was dumb. She was dumb for trying to protect him. She was so tiny, she couldn’t stop a hoomin. His thoughts remained on daddeh. Daddeh nu wub Pwince. Daddeh onwy huwt Pwince. Pwince am bad babbeh. Bad babbehs nee owies. The line repeated over and over.

He winced and shifted a bit. Mocha also shifted, and somehow found Prince’s hoof in her mouth. She didn’t even wake. He sighed and rested his head on her side. At least she was warm. He could feel the pressure, and some drool as Mocha teethed on Prince’s hoof. “Dummeh poopie babbeh,” he mumbled, starting to doze off again.

Part 8
Part 9

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Oh nooooooo… I hope karma hits the human in this one.

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Things are gonna get bumpy for our intrepid human and his two fluffies.

I’m starting to wonder if these babies were better off dying with their mummuh. At least then they wouldn’t know pain like this.

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Dude these poor simple things. The dramatic irony is palpable

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Forebah loyalty + unintelligent + dwelling on supposed disobedience + am owner who doesnt know how important discipline and tolerance is = situations like this.

I think we’ve all seen owners (or even parents!) like this, who like the idea of owning a liv8ng being, but just arent meant to do it.