Wespeck yuu daddeh Pt 8 (by Morton26)

Sandy lay sobbing in the back of the metal monster. To start with he’d been crying with fear, but gradually it turned to rage at himself and how stupid he’d been.

“DUMMEH! DUMMEH! DUMMEH!” he snarled at himself, and banged his face into the floor. He’d let himself be caught like a stupid little spwowin-babbeh, a pathetic little foal whose momma had been too dumb and lazy to teach it anything about the dangers of the world. Finally, he calmed down and tried to decide what to do.

It was dark in the metal box, but Sandy had kept enough of his sense of direction to guess in what direction the lid was. He turned himself around to face the opposite way.

When the monster stopped moving, Sandy tensed himself. The human monster opened the lid, and Sandy was blinded by the daylight. He screamed out the most terrifying battlecry of his people, as he whirled his tail around and… clenched.

“SOWWWWWWEHHHHH POOOOOOOOPEHHHHHS!”

Sandy heard the human monster wailing and making sickie-waters, and turned round as fast as he could. The monster was clutching his belly, doubled over and soaked with Sandy’s poop as he continued to spew. Sandy got ready to jump out of the metal monster, but realised that he was high enough off the ground to break something, and probably die. He was about to try anyway, thinking that anything would be better than what the human monster planned for him, when Boss Ricky’s metal monster came roaring down the street and came to a stop with a scream of rage. Ricky jumped out of it.

“What the fuck are you doing with my fluffy?”, he shouted.

The human monster straightened up and tried to look as intimidating as he could when covered with shit and vomit. “What do you mean, your fluffy?”, he said, “I just found the shitrat in the street. An’ what do you care?”

Boss Ricky gave the monster sorry hoofies with his front not-hoof in the belly, and then with his back hoof when he fell to the ground. Then Ricky grabbed Sandy, jumped back into the metal monster with him and roared away.

After only a little time, Boss Ricky stopped the metal monster again and looked over to Sandy.

“Fank yuu, Boss Wickeh,” said Sandy. “Yuu sabe Sandeh wife.”

“Don’t thank me yet”, said Ricky.

“Why?”, said Sandy.

Boss Ricky said “Because I’m gonna beat your ass with this car antenna, that’s why.” He pulled Sandy up by the tail and beat his rump several times with a thin metal sorry-stick, while Sandy sobbed with the pain and shock.

“Why Boss Wickeh sabe Sandeh, den gib huwties?” Sandy asked.

“Because FUCK… no, that ain’t fair. Because you wasted our fucking afternoon and 'cos you’re a fucking embarassment to this family is why. I leave you alone and an hour later you get jumped by some fucking loser JD in his momma’s fucking Chevy Cobalt! What the fuck happened there?”

Sandy cried silently for a while.

“What you got to say for yourself?”

Sandy said in a small voice “Dat aww am twuu.”

“Come again?”

“Sandeh hab tu much time in safewoom an gawden. Fowest am fuww of monstehs but Sandy nu fink dat citeh am tuu. Sandy am sowweh fow be dummeh monsteh-nummehs fwuffeh.”

Boss Ricky looked at Sandy less angrily and said, “Well, at least you know. Tomorrow, we’re going to do the same thing somewhere else. But this time, you gotta get your head in the game, understand?”

Sandy nodded.

Note: The tail-whirling is inspired by the actual behaviour of hippopotami, which spray their shit around to mark their territory. If you aren’t eating anything, see https://youtu.be/U-jXMeo4a4k.

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8 Likes

Bloody hell Ricky, you’re asking a fooken fluffy “How did you get captured by a human?” with a straight face. Are you dumber than both the guy AND the fluffy or something?

4 Likes

The longer these mafia guys keep this family the more it seems like they really shouldn’t.

They expect too much from simple creatures, better to give them up or give them as pets to someone’s kid

4 Likes