Let’s see cause i’m crazy enough to awnser all of these.
So my head canon then
Mine is stil in flux, so i am figuring it out still.
1: uh…sure why not ?
2: yes and no it exists in early generations but has been bred out over the course of years
4: Can’t say I ever gave that much thought so no.
5: Like that idea so yes.
6: Yes why else do the little bastard chirp otherwise ?
7: I could go for that idea it explains why normal colors are considered " bad" No reply as of yet.
8: Yes Natural selection generally shuns defects to produce healthy offspring that propagates the species
Fluffies are hardly natural and they breed like rabbits but natural instincts are still in there somewhere
9: Never gave alicorns much thought but it would be hilarious if true.
An artificial life form thats generally speaking dumb as a rock grasping the fact that it is indeed artificial and having a BSOD.
10: false for my fluffies sketties are just the fluffy word for their favorite food.
But they wil happily accept actual sketties.
11 : Yes.
just because they are dimwitted and artificial doesn’t mean they cant struggle with heady feelings or emotions.
They just lack the vocabulary and mental capacity to explain this to anybody including themselves.
Fluffies are dumb and accident prone after all.
13: Cant’s say i ever gave this much thought.
I would imagine artificial insemination is a thing.
So no comment.
Yes they would it seems natural in so far fluffies are natural.
15 : No idea.
16: no land and sea fluffies can’t produce viable off spring.
17: Can’t think of anything but its an interesting idea.
18 : I can go for that idea.
19 : 25 seems a bit lenient, but because they breed like rabbits, are accident prone dim bulbs and blitheringly walk in to danger, most ferals aren’t long lived anyway.
20: I hate that excuse, even if its just a preprogrammed phrase they use, because they don’t understand.
So yes true once trained the excuse becomes null and void.
21 : possible it depends on the disposition and personality of the “bestest”
Some are little shits regardless of their upbringing.
22 : false if a fluffy can die that easily feral corpses would be clogging up the streets because everything scares them to death.
They are skittish, and carefull.
23: kibble is just the easiest cheapest food a fluffy can be fed and provides the basic nutrients
I’m gonna answer as many of these as I can.
3: False, but I’ve got much weirder shit than that.
4: ??? (I haven’t given that matter much thought, teebeehaitch.)
5: False. I haven’t really used “smarty friend”, just “smarty”, but maybe that can change.
9: True. Umbra’s supergenius intellect didn’t do his sanity any favors.
10: True, but some fluffies know the difference.
12: ??? (I haven’t really done non-abused pillowfluffs.)
13: A bit of both (the part about watching them is true, the part about 95% of breeders vomiting isn’t. You don’t see dog breeders puking all the time.)
14: True, in many cases.
16: ??? (I haven’t done regular fluffies and aquafluffies mating yet.)
18: False. Fluffies in my headcanon are perfectly capable of growing beyond their bioprogramming and using words they were programmed not to use.
19: ??? (Lots of ferals die before reaching adulthood, but the exact number is unknown. Especially because many of the bodies tend to be devoured whole by whatever killed them…)
20: True. That shit doesn’t work forever…
22. False, in most cases. They’re not that fragile.
23: True. Flufftopia kibble is more nutritious than competing brands.
1: True - Fluffies can and do make “sicky wawa”, a feature put in to keep them from eating anything that wasn’t good for them
2: False - Fluffies like shiny and colourful, brand type be damned
3: False - Satyrs, Anthros, even Jellenheimers do not exist. Normal Fluffies spit on science enough.
4: False - Dick size is not decided by type. Crimson has the big dick and he’s a Pegasus
5: True - Often Smarty friends will reluctantly take charge if there’s no designated leader
6: Semi-True - Fluffies chirp as a way of signalling hunger or distress, it’s likely bird DNA is in their fucked up coding
7: Semi-True - Brighter colours and patterns attract all customers, not just young girls.
8: True - This is especially hard when dealing with internal problems since the mother can smell runt scent but the owner sees no outward issue
9: Semi-True - Less mental health and more self-awareness
10: True - Cheap noodles and ketchup are basically Michelin Star service.
11: False - Fluffies will anthropomorphise anything they deem “friend”
12: True - But a much lower percentage
13: Semi-True - Lots if uneasiness but no vomiting
14: True - But only in the last foal isn’t a “poopie”, otherwise they just get abused even more so than before
15: False - Stallion hormones are easier to curb than mare baby fever
16: False - Species are too distant, only stillborn foals to be had
17: False - If you get a Fluffy you’re getting a Fluffy
18: False - Fluffies can and do swear if pushed too far and have a base under of most words they’re told
19: True - Though again, much lower percentage
20: True - Once they can eat big Fluffy food they’re old enough to know better
21: True - But they’re in a vast minority
22: False - They just shit themselves
23: True - But variety is important so as to keep your Fluffy engaged at dinner time
I am very distracted by the fact you chose Diddy and Dixie for this. They’re cousins!
Uh, no they aren’t? They’ve been a couple since Dixie’s first appearance in DKC2. If you don’t believe me read this.
I saw these on the subreddit and actually liked the discussions some of these sparked. But now they are here all at once - oof, the overkill.
For the fun of it:
True, because it’s funny.
True, because it is funny and I can totally see a real life company doing that if it were possible.
False. In fact, I never even thought about fluffy satyrs before seeing this picture.
I’m leaning towards false. Yet again, I never thought about it before and truth be told most alicorns won’t make it so far that it would be an issue anyway.
Furthermore, I see fluffy sexual behavior a bit more like certain monkeys who copulate for literally any reason, so any phrases like “Wook, dat nu-nu stick am suuu big, am fow bestest feews” or “Dat mawe hab biggest miwkie pwaces, wub!” are a bit too human in concept.
False. To me that’s just one more term they use. But it does not have to mean that all smarties are inherently assholes. Just more assertive and full of themselves.
Hmm, leaning on false. I stand by the “kids like flashy colors in general” marketing mantra which would include something like bright red fluffies with black manes for boys. And not only dull colors but colors that are actually close to the one of shit and vomit are generally repulsive, too, therefore mostly undesirable. I would overthink the age range as well, as I cannot think of an 11 year old truly getting a fluffy instead of a real pet. Maybe 5-10 years.
True. I watched too much Discovery Channel growing up to think this as unlikely.
False. They’ll sooner reach the wan die stage before even getting that far.
Absolutely depends on the situation. I can see a fluffy being happy about ramen being good for a story and I can see a fluffy throwing a tantrum about not getting the finest product of Italian imported spaghetti.
False. Their fluffy vision will make things look either genuinely harmless or conventionally scary. Uncanny valley is generally too subtle for them. Maybe over veeeery long periods of time they might pick up something weird. Maybe not.
Hmm, a big fat maybe, especially on the numbers. I have not really thought about the natural (birth defect) pillows too much. Pillow fluffies to me are either from an industrial background (milkbags, breeders) or domestic fluffies that hurt themselves really badly (which would fall under ‘accidents’) and needed their legs amputated. Only then would I think about an abuser or a birth defect cause for pillows.
False. With how much they reproduce, if fluffies really need supervision to do that, then that would spell bad news for fluffykind. True on the vomit part though.
False. In fact, in a way they would be easier to handle than mares since they cannot get pregnant.
False in the sense that I believe they cannot produce living offspring at all. Maybe something of a cross of land and sea fluffies comes out, but even then fluffies would not ‘get’ that some need air to breath and some need water to breathe and they would certainly fuck it up in the following, well, minutes after birth. Even in any possible Hasbio laboratory experiments I would assume that the care would need to be extraordinary and still not keep the offspring alive and not be sickly and brittle as fuck.
True, because it’s funny.
True, although I would like to think they would go by a mixture of pre-programmed list and contextual tone.
True. If your mouth is open for speaking shit, it is also open for eating shit.
True. But I like to think they don’t always do it so overtly or out of genuine concern like in the example picture.
“Mummah wib babbehs is swow becaws poopie mus wawk behind mummah (does not question the hierarchy at all).
Mummah fin wotsa nummies so numming poopie is nu option (would definitely advise mummah to cannibalize poopie if circumstances were different).
Buh wha if, mummah gib miwkies to poopie so dat evewybody can wawksies fastew? Smawtie am su smawt.” (does not care about the poopie starving but solves the “everybody is slow problem” and also unknowingly helps the poopie along the way)
True. They don’t even need the greens imo. But no matter how nutritious their food is gonna be I believe their bodies simply cannot truly extract everything they need properly. So, in the end kibble is just the most cost effective.
Okay, that does make it a lot better. I think I got confused because the relations between the kongs aren’t made clear in the games, and since Diddy was originally meant to be DK’s son/nephew and Tiny is Dixie’s baby bro, it just seemed like a theme of “new second-kong is first-kong’s family member”.
2)False; Hasbio owns their top ‘competitors’ to circumvent anit-monopoly laws
3)False; though not out of the realm of possibility
7)False; it was a logical error that was color associations test for the initial batch of fluffies. Majority of ‘bad color’ fluffies stigma is almost exclusively shared by domestic fluffies.
8)True; was working on a story about how a foal was rejected due to having heterochromia
9)False; any intelligent fluffy can. I just yet to write any.
11)False; most fluffies don’t know what a stranger is.
13)False; though a charge my have to watch more aggressive fluffies, most will wait for the call of ‘gud feews.’
16)False; though never put much thought into it.
18)True; they may also use new/newer slang words that may not be appropriate since their vocabulary isn’t ‘updated.’
19)True; but it is 40% survival rate.
21)True; and those that show signs of smarty behavior can be fixed. The point of no return in when they reach sexual maturity.
22)True; though rare and highly based on personality
23)False; it contain all that a fluffy would need to survive. It’s just recommended that you vary up their diet so they won’t get sick of it.
I answered some of these already on Reddit. But lets see if I give different ones.
For all cases, “it depends on the breed/local regulations and culture” applies since I’m not a fan of universally consistent rules across the species and workd for humans or Fluffies. Some Fluffies adhere heavily to their programming to the point of nonsapience, others feel it merely as git feelings they often ignore. So many programming builds and alterations of Fluffies exist that all behaviors are “on average”.
Mostly, yes. Some breeds have such a sensitive esophagus that they will suffer permanent damage with possibly an altered voice, becoming mute, or death. Some drown on their vomit as they cannot expel it as fast as it voids due to a narrow mouth. Some vomit frequently, a survival mechanism born from a resurfacing of ruminant traits in their species. They often consume the vomit again. Due to stains from the vomit patches if not taught to do it on an area that can be easily cleaned but with greater bowel control and less unpleasantly aromatic feces it us a mixed bag whether this aids or hinders survival among domestics. Other breeds simply cannot, a trait often bred for intentionally among specialty abuse-bred breeds.
False, mostly. The mental preference tugs are there but most Fluffies are not offered a choice, not presented with the packaging, have no understanding of what the impulse wants them to do with many interpreting it different ways, and most are unaware of how to vocalize it when the rare confluence of events leads them to otherwise do it. Its an unfinished feature from the programming stage, not even present in most breeds. Hasbio no longer has the notes on how to advertise for them using subliminal codes and triggers, and use of what they have managed to figure out is less effective than marketing for the humans.
Yes. Eventually. Fluffies with humanoid anatomy naturally evolved two hundred years after the early (and largely forgotten due to the attention paid to the large scale fire event at the Hasbio conference in 1983) releases both accidental and intentional in the Pacific Northwest from the Tacoma, Surrey, and Gravity Falls laboratories. In the relative safety of the Central Pacific Rainforests they developed into more ape-like forms.
Intentional genetic manipulation by enthusiasts (and perverts) created other humanoid Fluffies. Some companies have since begun to sell them in limited quantities due to threat of lawsuit from Hasbio.
But the bulk of the “attractive” and “not fucking creepy” Fluffy humanoids came from breeding with other Biotoys, starting in the 2030’s, that were released both by Hasbio and their rivals such as Mattcartel, Centrifugemaster, and the like. In particular the Mattbio release of “Fluffy Breeder Barbara Annes“, four foot tall premium Barbara Anne living dolls who teach children to work in Fluffy breeding, with the undocumented feature of providing attractive slave labor for high end operations. But due to the complexities of the increased and unclear regulations on humanoid Biotoy sales as well as the rush to beat the pending Hasbio lawsuit over cross-company lines before the holiday season, the Barbara Annes were not infibulated or given hysterectomies, nor was their control programming hard coded. As a result many Barbara Annes retained sexual desire and fertility. Whether suffering sexual abuse from their adult owners or merely living in shame as they fought bodily desires and their programming to remain asexual, most found comfort among their charges (though some are credited as awakening the sexuality of their owners, leading to the famous lawsuit clarifying humanoid Biotoy sexual autonomy by ruling they can be held accountable for sexual assault but are regulated by physical developmental age rather than actual age in measurement of human lifespan).
Some are just the product of grafting, for medical or experimental reasons.
Regardless of source, Fluffy breeds came to include many humanoid subtypes including Anthros, Fauns, Satyrs, Centaurs, Aegyptoids, Modulators, Shiftorz, and Bestestfriendys.
No. Among the four subtypes there is only falsehoods encouraged by breeders as to the plethora of supposed variations. Most true differences are subtle, caused by the temperament differences. Breeds do have vastly different sizes, owing to the original research and production teams all having different opinions on what would be appropriate, with some even having receded cocksheaths to appear as if nullified. The Penile size variation seen in Fluffies of the same breed is mostly caused by natural selection. In the wild Fluffies who mate faster are more successful, leading to smaller penises which require less time and energy to become erect and fa faster ejaculation, as well as more densely packed seminiferous tubules within the testes to aid in more frequent mating when the chance presents itself; some highly successful Feral descended Fluffies have been documented as being able to be perpetually “milked” as the refractory period is almost nonexistent (barring a minute or so of overstimulation agony before pleasure returns), though such Fluffies are generally not favored by breeders as their accompanying adaptations are seen as making for poor pets. By contrast the Domestic descended Fluffies often have difficulties mating as breeders select females for oversized labia majora (or “puffy pussy”) and males for large penises (as fragile masculinity will lead many males looking for pets to select the most “manly” Fluffy, with most of these pets going without neutering regardless of local laws). Abuser aggression towards smaller penises has been noted, with many buying victims specifically for the trait. Oftentimes these domestics have difficulty achieving and maintaining penetrating erections, with most achieving only a semi-engorged cock which exits the sheath if there is one, dragging along the ground. Breeders often employ mild eletrostimulstion to enable the males to breed (leading to the not untrue stereotype of breeders taking up electrostimulation themselves), though ability to safely penetrate a female and achieve thrust is another matter. Due to the care needed to breed “Fluffdingos” a particularly well-endowed Fluffy with a carefully curated penis shape, usually perfectly human or equine, sell as well as common Alicorns.
Mostly true. The programming which produces Smarty misbehavior is often from buried and incomplete and/or contradictory archetype programming, designed to artificially produce character types such as villains, “cool”, or grossout Fluffies for sale. If a Smarty is influenced by this programming their inner vocabulary is altered to put themselves in a new category. Fluffies who exhibit more free will outside of programming or animal instinct but become tiny tyrants of their own accord sometimes demand the title, usually to deceive though this is mitigated by routine Fluffy mistakes in correct naming as well as poor memory. Smarty-friend remains the correct technical term for all Smarties, leading to shelters, breeders, and even those looking out for Feral welfare to purge helpful Fluffies out of ignorance.
False. Chirping is actually different sounds based on breed, which all sound alike to the untrained human ear. Many initial Foal rejections are due to the noise nit matching the instinctual recognition of the mother, though the tendency of Foals to learn to mimic each other and repeat what gets them positive attention as well as mothers becoming used to the sound ensure deaths rarely occur from this, but many Foals miss that crucial first step after birth leading to “Fools Runts” as otherwise perfect Fluffies remain developmentally lagging until adulthood. Fluffies from metropolitan situations with positive exposure to other breeds at all stages rarely fall into this trap, but the tendency of Hasbio programming to feature only their own primary breed on the Babies! show and breeders either focusing on one bloodline primarily before introducing new males, or raising them in high stress environments which associate the smells and sounds of Fluffies who are not their mother or siblings with stress and fear, worsen the chances. Exposure to Touyube programming where amateur content creators use shelter rescues or Ferals from diverse backgrounds in their videos often mitigates this.
False. Though that was the directive from Hasbio, actual research went in all directions. Some breeds were even specifically made to be like small horses. “Bad colors” is a mix of culture in the Fluffy fandom influencing broader culture and several different programming errors contributing to Fluffy hatred of their own kind if certain colors or textures are triggered in the Programming Bulb. It should be noted that some breeds, often those adapted to successful wild survival, come almost exclusively in such colors and are even favored as pets by certain normally Fluffy-hating demographics that favor portable conversationalists/listeners such as longhaul truckers, oil rig roughnecks, and outdoorsmen. Generally “bad colors” are seen as more masculine, and upon reaching adulthood often suffer less aggression from humans that are not part of the Breeder or Abuser cultures.
True. Fluffies from breeds with hardcoded Breeder programming are strict and unfeeling in their choices, Hasbio newer breeds are designed to be “incompatible” with older breeds, mutations, and offbrands to increase profits. Fluffies are also just often stupid, and based on human intelligence leading to both xenophobia and dysphoria.
True. Though, like animals such as pigs and turkeys, Fluffy intelligence is mostly the result of rearing. The reasons for Alicorn intelligence is varied from greater cleverness needed to survive, increased attention from humans, and some intelligence-inhibiting programming not triggering. Regardless, all Fluffy breeds and individuals capable of sapience can suffer from human-like conditions. One popular Fluffy hobby is adopting mentally ill or traumatized Fluffies to give mental healthcare to, inspired by the popularity of Touyube and internet lesson courses on therapy and psychology. Though like with anything else, there is also an Abuse side. In particular forcing Gluffies to develop certain sexual fetishes such as self-castration or skinless partners, then delivering the means for them to indulge.
True! While Fluffies with low programming strength can recognize differences and indicate preference, almost all Fluffies with complete, functional, and attached Programming Bulbs are born with a vague knowledge of spaghetti, and upon satisfying the criteria of the programming the senses are bombarded with pleasure with some retreating inti hallucination in an almost fantasy-like state regardless of what is actually being eaten. Fluffies with strong but poor programming can be found in the wild eating grass, believing that it is spaghetti. Others can recognize the indicators such as tomato sauce and specific noodle texture. Generally the looser the definition of spaghetti the more pleasure it provides.
True. To varying degrees. Educated Fluffies or especially clever ones can articulate it. For others it triggers “Dummy” rejection. For others fear is triggered to varying degrees. But common Fluffies wre so unobservant and cowardly that more of the world than not, even colors and shapes, are unsettling. Some Fluffy misbehavior merely stems from something making them uncomfortable and as a result trying to assert control over their situation, though a convex ceiling making them queasy or a Fluffy toy with walleyes and the smell of lemon juice is not generally seen as an excuse to pee in a corner, kick one’s sister, or refuse to eat anything but the green kibble in a multicolor mix.
True in some conditions. Some early breeds were “modular”, able to have limbs easily removed and reattached semi-functionally. Some modern breeds retain only the former. Some mutations produce unforseen consequences of breeding, such as mixing Seafluffies with Gardenfluffies. Feral Fluffies who dwell in the Hanford Wasteland or Kalamazoo Blight live short lives as limbs degenerate rapidly. Many Fluffies are just overfed, with their weight crushing the bones of the mire fragile breeds. In general the breeds designated for Abuse or the product of extreme breeding measures have bones, muscle, and skin so fragile that they can seemingly randomly lose a limb. Fluffies with metallic-colored fluff coats are notorious for this.
True, and false. Just like breeding any other animal the participation of the owner is recommended or even required. Just like the need for a farmer to physically guide a pig’s penis into the engorged vulva of a sow or the care taken as owners hold the back of proud and territorial dogs to immediately separate them if the mating becomes a fight, so too do professional Fluffy breeders need to watch and aid in mating. Squeamish city-slicker amateurs often pass on this or make the process more difficult with threats or pain, almost invariably causing stress which will negatively affect the health of the participants. Such behavior almost invariably comes with other toxic practices which will almost always produce low grade stock, if any. Some Fluffy breeds are incapable of mating on their own or in certain combinations, as discussed before, and require aid including simply masturbating Stallions and using gravity tubing to impregnate Mares. Some incorrect breeder culture holds that Mare pleasure results in Smarties of undesirable colors, so many steps are taken to prevent Mare orgasms including numbing agents, infibulation, and psychological repression. The superstition is linked to severe postpartum issues, and is a common cause of Foal rejection and murder.
True almost universally. Though some rare breeds of adapted Ferals have been noted consuming a last child in order to try again with a large litter again in times of plenty. This protection sometimes does not extend past Foalhood.
False mostly. Many children prefer a pet of their own gender identity, or desire a replication of the usual number of characters present in fiction (1-4 male, 1-2 female). Some prefer family units, though they may adopt unrelated Fluffies of vastly different ages and assign almost at random who is “daddy, mommy, sissie, and brother”. Lonely men wanting a talking companion often adopt a male. There is not a noteworthy difference in average female companion. preference. The exception is Abusers, who most often target females, Foals, or aggressive males either to feel like their inflicted pain is justified or as a tool to be a source of pain to other Fluffies. This skews adoption rates more heavily female, but only when including Abuse.
Somewhat true. Amphibious Seafluffies rarely produce live offspring with other varieties, with survivors being the breed of the mother. Sea mammal Seafluffies are recessive traits.
True. Pygmy horse popularity has plummeted somewhat, as the childhood dream of owning one can be substituted for a more horselike Fluffy breed, often ensuring the child realizes the constant needs and filth involved. Some miniature horses are bred or altered surgically or aesthetically to be more like better-behaved and durable mute Fluffies. In the 2010’s the average price of a miniature horse was $400, already 2/3 that of the 1990’s. By 2020 they averaged a mere $300.
False. Basic programmed words and phrases were barely finished. The ban list is only mild aversion, though the average Fluffy is sensitive enough to obey it religiously. Any Fluffy can have it normalized by humans or their Smarty directly. Feral Fluffies left to their own devices create their own sublanguage when no programmed word is available, the same way information like Skettieland, Bozdo, and Pepmin is shared. This includes expletives, with the worst insults being usually gendered, referring to appearance, or both. Clever Fluffies realize the power of alliteration in spreading ideas and beliefs among their kind. A quick litmus test to find Ferals or Fluffies exposed to their ideas is to call them a “muddy milkie-mare” or a “prickly peepee” then see if they react in confusion or outrage.
Highly situational. Fluffies adapted to dwelling in the Appalachian rock faces have low birth rates and few predators. First generation Ferals born from Hasbio domestics in the back alley of Panama City Beach are unlikely to survive at all.
Situational. Some breeds are so incapable of taking care of themselves, intended for outdoor life, lacking in ability to make actual decisions past programming, or valuable in spite of all other factors that litterbox training is only for convenience. It is a requirement only in breeds intended for Hugboxers raised and sold in bulk and sold at premium prices specifically because of the training. Some are intended to be sold before training could complete as Foals. In most cases it is the bulk distribution that eliminates training, with reliance on a Smarty or Nurse proctor in each Foal bin to keep a semblance of cleanliness as it is cheaper than paying workers extra for more regular cleanings. Fluffy instructional courses on Touyube or as a paid service depending on owner budget is the source of most basic training, and usually tricks or games is included in lessons. Breeders who specialize in coloration rely on mothers or Nurse Fluffies to teach, with one test taken before sale. Customers are not issued refunds for brats in this business practice though for cheaper breeders the customer is allowed to take and punish a newborn “bad color” if one is available if they demand satisfaction. Professional breeders avoid this tactic in case a more valuable coat comes in later.
In any case, protestations of the Foal are largely the buyer’s problem.
True. Bestest Syndrome is present largely in Hasbio produced breeds after the mass release. In some cases it triggers aforementionef incomplete programmed villain or antihero archetypes, in others it is learned by being groomed for leadership or in seeing themselves as objectively better. It is a warning sign, not a rule. Human interaction introduces new factors, such as being dubbed the best or last introducing variables that promote choice or interpretation into programming where there was none before.
Some breeds are. The trait is almost universally dying out, but persists as an unfortunate mutation in Fluffies with the recessive gene for fainting as a survival adaptation when it mixes with Fluffies with strong adrenal response such as breeds raised for sport or carnival games. It first developed as a failed cute response in Gen 2 Hasbio trademarked Fluffies which was mistakenly shipped when a cotton candy blue male test build marked for disposal was placed in the breeding population for general release by a worker looking to pad her quota.
Highly variable. Many Fluffy breeds hav different dietary needs and sensitivities. It is also entirely unregulated market where most brands are produced by the same few companies, with rarely any kind of consistent formula as anything that can be sourced is often used from decaying diseased pig carcasses left in barrels for disposal outside farms to Feral Fluffies to Fluffy feces to moldy corn husks to ground up pruning vegetation from parks and golf courses. Reliable brands are far and few between. Caring or savvy owners know to avoid anything warning against human consumption or skin contact, as most breeds of Fluffies can eat almost anything a human can, with rare breeds being able to eat material toxic to humans. Only the detectable scent of tomato is needed to make a Fluffy realize it is edible by triggering the interest of the Programming Bulb, though cheaper chemically altered ginger is often substituted. Beyond that it only needs to not kill the Fluffy in one week exclusively on that food alone to be legal for sale. As always, zucchini or gourd-based noodles flavored with a small amount of ketchup is sufficient for cheaply providing maximum nutrition at a low cost, though cheaper alternatives of canned soup and noodles distributed for humans is better if fresh or stored vegetables are expensive or unavailable. Trusted kibble brands are designed to be sold in bulk and last a Fluffy’s lifetime and are made from ground mash made from corn and beans with powdered tomato dust flavoring, but are more expensive due to their popularity to doomsday preppers and hikkikomori.
#4 is obviously true. It’s about time someone out there is finally dealing with the important questions.
False. They dont care who makes they products they use. As long as its fun or yummy, they are happy with it.
Maybe, who knows what creatures lark in the labs.
False. Their size has nothing to do with their type.
False. A herd leader is called Leader, because of the negativity surrounding the word “Smarty” feral herds have learned the hard way to never to use that word. A fluffy may have a “Good thinky place.” But isn’t “smarty”
Yes and no. Bird DNA was used in them for color as will as wings. Bat DNA was used in hopes of making their bones stonger. Their chirps are similar to birds but different.
False. They were made for the mlp market and the more colorful ones were more popular and became with more until the market shifted towards behavior.
True. Though their fate is more dreadful in most cases. Mares will drown their defective young. However, some mothers do fight their programming and care for them.
False. Alicorn has the same chance of higher intelligence as any other fluffy. The more intelligent fluffy to have a higher chance of developing depression and anxiety.
True. They aren’t that picky of what they eat for the most part.
False. Due to pillow fluffies being unpopular and taboo to own one. its closer to eighty percent in private hands.
Depends on the stallion. And not really watching, more like listening and making sure he doesn’t go to far.
Depends one the mare and how many litters she had before. Some have that, “i can have more” mindset aren’t over protective. But if she thinks its the only foal she has. It best to adopt a foal the same age as hers or take the foal away for mental health of both foal and mother.
False. Stallions are more popular than mares. They are less likely to go into baby fever and get themselves hurt.
False. They have a high chance of stillborns due to the hybridization genes. A living hybrid is only theoretical, and has a very low chance of happening. The scientists who have study the DNA do know the hybrid would be infertile because of their odd number chromosomes. Like a mule.
True. But taboo.
True and false. Some aren’t born with a vocabulary limit. Some can be trained to override the programming. And those “Error Mode” they can curse like a sailor.
False. Ferals foals have a ten percent chance of making it to adult hood and the rate is going down.
False. When they start talking. My universe is tough. No excuses, excuses gets you killed.
Mostly False. Bestest baby become brats and their emotional and behavioral development is holted this leads to smarties in most cases. In all cases they can’t do anything on their own and have to rely on others.
False. Their hearts aren’t that weak and their pretty durable.
False. Of all the things Hasbio concerned itself with programming into fluffy behavior, a preference for certain products was not one of them.
False. There is no real physical difference between an alicorn and non-alicorn fluffies.
True, and they are the majority of herd leaders. However, steadily over time smarties with “Smarty Syndrome” are becoming more and more common, steadily replacing the non-Smarty Syndrome leaders in the wild.
False. They do it because of their still developing vocal cords.
True. However it should be noted that Hasbio initially intended all fluffies to be priced the same regardless of color, but since their premature release people priced them differently. It is largely assumed that duller colors would not sell well and thus they are priced accordingly. As such it creates a self-petulating cycle where people assume the duller colored fluffies are inherently inferior to the prettier colors due to the difference in price.
True. It was behavior programmed into fluffies by Hasbio to more easily do quality control.
False. Alicorns are really no smarter than any other fluffy.
Kinda true? It is certainly possible to trick a fluffy in this manner, especially if they have never had spaghetti before. Doesn’t quite work as well when they have had the real thing.
False. They’ll either think the fake fluffy is either a toy or think it is real. This is why fauz foal products work well on fluffies who want babbehs.
False. There is no reason for them to be bothered by this. Even if they were, they’d be desensitized to it over time.
True, but only really for first time mothers.
False. Mares and stallions get adopted equally as much. It depends on the buyer’s preference.
False. The offspring will suffer from various maladies due to some conflicting genes.
True, though the mortality rate of foals is set to shrink steadily as more successful generations of feral come about.
True, but fluffies tend to say that to warn people that they are fragile since foals are considerably more fragile than their adult counterparts.
True. Not all Bestest Babbehs are Smarties, but all Smarties were once Bestest Babbehs.
True. Horses have a very specific flaw that keeps them from vomiting and fluffies aren’t even close to the same shape.
False. Fluffies were designed to be the product, and them being used as a vessel for selling stuff only came about after they themselves became dirt cheap due to PETA break-in.
Anthros do, but they’re extremely rare and exclusively rich people’s pets due to costing easily as much as a new car. Satyrs would be dangerously close to humans with animal parts, so I doubt anyone would dare to make them.
Alicorns are bigger in general, but relative to size their dicks are just as miniscule as regular fluffies.
Smarties aren’t tyrants in general. Fluffies with smarty syndrome may get followers due to their determination, but leaders they are not and tend to die quickly due to personally charging into danger ahead of their herds.
Baby fluffies chirp like mice because their brains haven’t developed for speech yet. It’s the fluffy equivalent of baby babble.
Target demographic was the same as ponies, so yes. Bright colors are more desirable due to being exotic in general, so natural colors had to be sold cheaper to get rid of them. This led to a runaway effect where brown fluffies came to be viewed as a budget option, making consumers avoid them to avoid looking poor, driving the brown fluffies demand down even further in a self-perpetuating cycle.
Fluffies, having no concept of social media and consumer whores in general, are entirely oblivious to why humans treat some of their kind worse than others.
Mothers reject runts due to their smell, indicating deeper health problems than mere birth defects. Many a mother try to care for unviable offspring that would clearly be better off being put out of their misery.
Not really due to intelligence, but I can see them being more prone to depression due to lack of huggies and closeness that fluffies love so much. Being intelligent enough to understand their position in the world isn’t that bad when their high price makes them practically fluffy royalty.
Fluffies accept any noodles as spaghetti even without sauce.
Now that I think of it, fluffies talk to everything from toys to grassies like they were living beings, so them feeling uncanny valley about anything at all seems improbable.
No, this kind of defects happening naturally would be exceedingly rare.
Yes. Fluffies are so accident-prone it’s good to make sure they don’t manage to hurt themselves while breeding either.
I doubt many would vomit though - the whole thing takes seconds and looks plain ridiculous.
Absolutely. Whatever happened to the rest of her foals, she’ll be sure to protect her last one from absolutely everything.
Not due to stereotypes, but because most mlp characters are mares. Even without looking like any pony in particular, mares are just more iconic than stallions.
I can see young boys preferring stallions to play with, but statistically speaking your average My Little Pony fan is a 17-40 year old highly-educated male, and they definitely love mares!
I have absolutely no idea. I think sea fluffies are a werdbox-y concept in general, so I haven’t put much thought to how they would work.
False - I really don’t see how a fluffy could substitute any other animal.
Absolutely. It’s impossible to prepare for every possible bad word, and more pop up all the time.
I also believe fluffies gloss over bad words in names - a design choice made entirely by Hasbio professor Dick Gay.
No idea of the exact numbers, but there are plenty of them dying in every stage of life. Can’t have too many of them starve or there won’t be enough for all the hilarious accidents!
I think absolutely everyone agrees on this one.
Fluffies don’t have a bestest babbeh. They use the word “bestest” for emphasis, just like words like “biggest” and “worstest”. A fluffy mother is bound to call all its babies bestest just because she loves them so much.
Rarely and for comedy purposes, but it’s definitely an exaggeration.
True. Not even fruit and vegetables needed, although fluffies appreciate real foods over healthy but boring kibble any time.
True. Vetriverse fluffies contain 0% horse DNA.
False. They absolutely would have if they could have, but they couldn’t so they didn’t.
There have been no on-screen fluffy Satyrs at this point. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist, only that they might not exist.
Statistically false, but urban legends of all sorts abound.
Likely, yes. “Fwend” implies positive associations.
That’s certainly an ELI5 take on it.
Initially HasBio thought it was only going to catch on with hardcore fans and was planning for such. After the breech occurred the consumers were much more varied in preferences. There really isn’t such thing as “bad colors,” just customers in the market for specific colors.
Yes, but “can” is doing a lot of lifting. A birth defect makes rejection more likely, but different mothers have different risk tolerances. The biggest factor is probably litter size. Mothers not feeling overwhelmed generally won’t reject any foals, mothers feeling overwhelmed may reject completely healthy foals.
True, but “more” is doing a lot of lifting here, as well. Vetriverse alicorns aren’t that much smarter than ordinary Vetriverse fluffies.
Absolutely. 100%. They’ll eat cardboard strips if you spill red paint on them. There’s a reason so much fluffy injury is esophageal and gastrointestinal.
Could happen, not likely.
30% is very low. Virtually all pillowing is medically necessary and occurs at birth or shortly after. Injuries necessitating quadruple amputations do occur but are usually not survivable.
13a) True. Usually by webcam. They don’t require a ton of monitoring during the double decker pecker wrecker, but a few glances mean better safe than sorry.
13b) Nope. The amount of other horrifying and disgusting things that a breeder has to see and clean up greatly outweighs any squeamishness about witnessing a push start in progress. Her giving him the stone cold stunner usually is nowhere near to stimulating emesis.
Single live births, OTOH, usually don’t provoke this unless there was already trauma to begin with.
Nope. Gender is generally not a factor in most adoptions. Most potential owners just want the animal fixed with good personality and ideally good training, remaining plumbing is secondary.
Although they have several large blocks of DNA in common, Vetriverse sea fluffies and “standard” fluffies aren’t actually genetically compatible. While there is technically a non-zero chance of an infertile but viable cross-breed, in practice the odds are extremely negligible.
False. Fluffies share traits with their precursor species, but not enough to not be immediately identifiable as a fluffy.
False. Only a starter nexus of a few vocalizations are deliberately inserted instincts, the rest are learned behaviors that grow from them.
False. Closer to 10% across the entire feral population. Fluffies don’t do well on their own. Perception is a bit skewed because a breeding pair in an advantageous position can crank out several fully viable litters in a short amount of time, whereas most people don’t notice the abundance of unsuccessful breeding pairs and singletons.
True but insufficient. Most breeders don’t find “am onwy widdwe babbeh” persuasive to begin with. Language is one of the last instincts to manifest.
True. And in Vetriverse fluffies most identified preference for one particular offspring is both rare and fairly mild.
False. Vetriverse fluffies are someone tougher than that, although they can be traumatized to some degree and could be injured by an inopportune startle response.
Generally true. Standard kibble paired with abundant water supplies are nutritionally complete. Access to fresh grass and judicious use of “people food” make nice treats, but aren’t medically necessary in the absence of specific dietary needs.
Trying to get back into Fluffy writing. So lets give this a go to try get the creative juices flowing aain
1.Yes. Hasbio would want an indication that a fluffy was sick or ate something it shouldn’t and vomiting is a very easy way for a fluffy to say “Somethings Wrong”. Plus a fluffy doesn’t have the DNA that would prevent it like in horses
2.No. Hasbio was planning on making products that were more attractive to fluffies based on their research. But they couldn’t force what an owner could buy allowing other companies to muscle in.
Nope. Don’t deal with any other subspecies.
Nope. There’s some genetic advantages an Alicorn has like intelligence and sturdiness. But not endowment
Not really. It doesn’t change as a fluffy might just call the smarty “Smawty” for short but “Smarty Fwiend” can be used as a term of endearment if the Smarty friend is good to the herd.
Nope. Rodent DNA is more to do with chirping than bird DNA.
Yes and no. The fluffy was sold as a miracle pet to all ages and originally a bad color would still cost the same as a used car while the public would be OK with some bad colors as long as they could find one. It was only post-breach when fluffies became plentiful would some mills and breeders try to discard “Bad colours” due to precieved lack of demand (Even though families who do their research would prefer a well trained brown one than a garish brat ripped from it’s mother too early). Fluffies remain oblivious and will get upset if a brown fluffy is treated badly by humans or fluffies trained to be hateful to browns because a fluffy will just see another fluffy for hugs and play. Not the color of their fluff
Yes. Even the smallest defect can give off runt smell because that small defect could be hiding something bigger like underdeveloped organs internally. Because humans don’t do the research on their fluffies birth. They end up punishing the mare for rejecting it even though the mare is correct
Yes. But most likely depression because they are alone all the time. Ironically due to their value. Alicorns live isolated lives in gilded cages, unable to get a companion fluffy unless the owner is super rich and even then, they get depressed when they see herds and other fluffies enjoying themselves while they can’t join in.
Yes and no. A feral who never had it before will accept a basic ketchup/noodles as spaghetti. A domestic who had proper spaghetti before will see through it and demand the real thing.
That’s interesting. But I’ll go false because Fluffies talk to everything like it’s alive. They wouldn’t really be spooked by something like a doll unless there was something real off about the smell
Yes, but a significantly lower percentage who survive the runt smell. Less than 1%. It would be incredibly rare to get a pillowfluff that never had legs which ironically makes them as valuable as Alicorns. Especially because they don’t go into depression as easily as a fluffy who had their legs taken and live mostly happy lives.
True. A mismatch in fluffies can cause a fight and both hurt feelings and hurt genitals, never mind potential accidents so they have to be watched over. But experienced breeders can train their breeding stock to be gentle and not have to worry about watching. Though it would be advised to stay there and bring a crossword book while the fluffies get busy, just in case there’s accidents. Also, it looks silly so most breeders would have a harder time trying not to laugh rather than throwing up.
True. Especially if the mare lost other foals to death. They will become overprotective of their last foal.
Sorta True. Urban legends about Smarty syndrome make it slightly more difficult to adopt out an adult male fluffy than adult female fluffy even though mares can go through foal fever and cause just as much chaos. Neutered Male foals get adopted out at the same rate as spayed fillies
No sea fluffies here captain’
False. Kids can see right through it. Leading to a lot of hurt feelings if a parent does try it.
False. Fluffies learn words by instinct and teaching though they will pick up on curse words. Sounds like an embarassing oversight by the Hasbio team and funny though.
True but depends how close they are to humans and the season. In the cities the chances of survival are around 25% in the spring and reach just 5% in the winter. In the woods and secluded areas. Chances start going up to 85% if born in the spring. But crater down to 10% in the winter.
True. Foals are foals and will still use the excuse if caught in trouble.
True. In my canon “Bestest Babbeh” is a human convention used by breeders with lack of morals and mills who prioritize churn to force a mare to focus on the most profitable foal (While “Poopie Babbeh” is the opposite. It has to be ignored or even killed). That doesn’t account for the foal developing good fluffy morals by instinct and the foal wanting to help it’s broodmates. Ignoring the mares pleas to be the “Bestest Babbeh” and getting all the attention.
False. Though you’ll have to clean up the carpet if you did jumpscare your fluffy
True. Most companies realize there’s good profit in decent fluffy food rather than sawdust pellets. Though Fluffies adore real fruit and sweet vegetables once they get the taste
Alright why not
Trueish. Fluffies don’t have a lot of horse DNA, probably less than 1%, but they still carry this trait because of their genetic make up. They can if forced to do so, but it’s very painful and can damage their throat and vocal chords.
True, a Smart-Friend isn’t always friendly though, they are smarter than the average fluffy, they’re also naturally good leaders. They can still be aggressive, but are less intolerant and tend to be protective, good for feral herds.
True, but the original bird DNA was just for the pigment and ability to talk, the wings were a side effect.
False, the original demographic was people interested in an old Hasbro TV show about talking magical ponies. Some of course were little kids and their families, as well as some obsessive adults, but all would be interested in colors that are bright, light, or pastel while off colors, browns, and dark reds, oranges, and yellows do poorly.
True, though every mother is different. In ferals it’s common because those foals won’t survive so it’s best to just abandon them
Maybe, Alicorns are more intelligent than the average fluffy and because of their expensive and rarity, more likely to find themselves in a loving home. However they might develop complexes if raised by mothers who call them monsters and being rejected by their herd
True, and spaghettis is actually really unhealthy for them- the noodles, tomatoes, meat, all of it is unhealthy. Fattening, and more likely to give them nasty smell shit. If someone wants to give them spaghetti it’s best to use vegetable based noodles and barely any sauce to keep the digestive issues to a minimum.
False, most fluffies think stuffy friends are alive, night lights, blankets, and don’t get uncanny valley vibes
False, however the percentage is not quite 30%. Genetics plays a huge part, if two fluffies with short legs breed they will probably produce foals with genetic mutations and defects that result in the need for amputation. It must be done when the foal is young enough that they won’t miss their legs, before their eyes open, or the fluffy will react like most abuse survivors do. Depression, grief, a want inside them for something they’ll never have. The same with accidents, most fluffies won’t realize that their owner is removing their legs for their own good, only that they don’t have legs anymore and will react the same way. Not every fluffy reacts the same way, however, there are always exceptions to the rule.
True to having to watch, false for the vomiting unless you’ve got a really sensitive stomach
False, sea fluffies and regular fluffies have very different structures, it’s like asking a cow and a manatee to have a baby, one might be called a sea-cow but that doesn’t make it a cow! Most foals will be born dead, if the pregnancy even takes, and any surviving foals will be so heavily mutated they’ll be hybrids- possibly unable to live in either world for very long.
Maybe? Hadn’t thought about it. Maybe for pot belly pigs or goats?
True, though that list is notably swear words, and sometimes fluffies create their own versions of swears ‘oh poopies’ oh shit ‘fwuff it’ fuck it ‘enf it’ also fuck it and ‘speak ub dah jewwen’ speak of the devil’
True, though ferals are different than the normal fluffy. A stray is a former indoor fluffy, while a feral was born outside and has adapted to living out there. Their fur is coarser and thinner to make it so water doesn’t stay in their coat and freeze them to death and feral fluffies are a little sturdier as well. Even if 25% of foals die, fluffies can have up to 8 or 9 litters a year, and up to 13 foals, though 4-6 are more typical.
False, some even take that the excuse is invalid after the foal starts weaning or finishes teething
True, not all bestest babbehs become smarties, but most smarties develop because of spoiling as a baby while others are just born that way. While talking about it, Smarty Syndrome can be very dangerous, mostly to any fluffies around said Smarty, and it’s best to just cut your losses and start over with a new fluffy since it completely sets in once the fluffy reaches adulthood.
True, but it’s very rare and only from the very young, very old, or fluffies with heart problems
True, aside from cannibal fluffies, though that is a behavioral effect- usually based on starvation, and not biological, though even after getting to a safe space with plenty of food most cannibals refuse to eat anything, but meat, even though it isn’t good for them. The best diet for a fluffy is kibble mixed with dark greens, with fruits as treats.
!. Definitely. Being able to vomit opens up more possibilities, but a few regressive cases that can have interesting potential as well.
Not that extreme, but if two items are mostly the same, fluffies see the Hasbio one as obviously superior.
There are great 'verses with satyrs and anthros, but I haven’t found much space for them in my stories. Assumed to not exist.
Nope. Can’t say it was even considered.
Possibly for a fluffy POV. For, say, a lawn invasion story, the herd tends to be too dumb or naïve to recognize tyranny and will still use “smawty fwiend”.
Yup! Also some parrot to pretend that’s where the ability to talk comes from. Purring coooos, distressed chirrrps, and questioning peeps.
7.Either that, trying to stand out more in the pet mammal market, or going for a more toy-like look for legal reasons.
Depends on the mother, but yes. Some deformities also come with runt scent. Most mothers would reject those, but some can fight that programmed instinct.
Not really how that works, afaik. Alicorns might be better able to express these issues and get diagnosed. Other fluffies would just be seen as quirky or moody.
My fluffies would call it “da nu-fwuffy” because they trust their feeling that it is not a fluffy. Especially if humans see the thing as a regular fluffy.
Most pillowfluffs in my 'verse are probably either intentional-abuse victims, pillowed for sales reasons, or industrial uses (milkbags and breeding mills). Few are congenital. Accidents rarely cause quad-amputees, but strain on remaining limbs could lead to further amputation.
Yes on supervision. Nausea depends on the person. New, disposable hires at mills or other medium/large operations are probably the most likely to get into the business without having the stomach for it.
Overprotective, clingy, or prone to spoiling. Depends on the mare and what happened to the other foals, but a mare tends to have too much wubs for just one babbeh.
To a noticeable degree but not completely lopsided.
Most will have deformed limbs.
Not in the way pictured except for psych abuse.
They have words that they will replace automatically, but they can still be trained to say the forbidden words.
No idea. Best left vague for me.
Bad/abusive breeders. Caring breeders know that most foals will only say that stock phrase legitimately and that training can regress at times or due to circumstances.
Depends a lot on how the mare and family treat the bestest, but even the most spoiled bestest might only become a run-of-the-mill brat.
Nah. Good for a one-off joke, but it’s better if most can survive and have to deal with sudden events.
If it’s a good brand, then it should have just about everything a fluffy needs.
i like these a lot. these are some pretty solid headcanons.
True. They’re still very much horse, but they get the vomiting trait from one or more of the other species in their genome.
True, but only for those released directly by Hasbio and any descendants raised by them.
Similarly, Fuzzies directly released by Mattel Bio want Mattel Bio products, and any descendants raised by them do as well.
Ferals of both biotoy species may or may not prefer their respective brands, but the more intelligent feral herds have evolved past that trait through natural selection.
Only in my weirdbox/joke headcanon, where they’re basically traditional satyrs (half-man half-horse) with fluffy legs, colors, and rhotacism.
In my main headcanon, no.
Definitely false. Alicorns in my headcanon aren’t inherently superior in any way to other fluffies.
True. Similarly, the burrowing ability and instinct of microfluffies is a side-effect of the added hamster DNA Hasbio used to make them smaller.
Mostly true except for the age of the demographic, which was 5-10.
True, although it of course varies from mother to mother.
False. Alicorns aren’t any more intelligent than any other fluffy. They just have two types of growths instead of one.
Can be true. lol
Yes, but only if she previously had others which she lost.
Depends on the area.
False. Hybrid fluffy genetics are more complicated in my headcanon.
I have a post about it here: Biotoy Hybrids In My Headcanon (by Pushka)
True, but to different extents.
Factory farming and lethal animal products such as meat and tallow have been outlawed entirely in favor of greener alternatives, including fluffy-based ones.
So like in the old joke, fluffies can be classified as soap, except it’s more than just a false label and can only be applied once the fluffy is dead and no longer a fluffy.
Scenarios like the one in the image can also occur, but they aren’t common and typically only occur among cheapskates, scammers, and psychological abusers.
They also only are used as substitutes for equines, as those are the only animals fluffies can possibly pass for. However, fluffalos and cowfluffies have been used as cheaper substitutes for cattle (who are now pets and non-meat hobby farm animals only).
Cruelly devoiced fluffalos and cowfluffies have also occasionally been used by scammers in the newest version of the “micro cow” scam.
True, much like how chat filters on kids’ games often do.
True in the context of urinating and/or defecating outside of the litterbox.
True. Although many do, it’s not a guaranteed thing.
Not super likely, but definitely more likely than real animals.