The Fluff Identity
Also known as:
Among Us
If you thought I was going to make that kind of joke then I need you to sit by a window and contemplate life. No, don’t go outside. Don’t touch grass. You don’t deserve that. You need to earn that privilege at this state of your Dorito-fingered being.
Welcome back to another installation of ‘dickhead ranting into the void instead of working to fix society’s deep flaws’, with me; the dickhead.
How ya’ll doing?
IF DOING WELL: That’s awesome, keep on doing you.
IF NOT DOING WELL: Keep on top of that horse I believe in you I think.
Today’s subject: What isn’t a fluffy.
Hey now Jake, put down the rake, I’m not here to break, I’m here to make, put your thirst to slake and fill your tummy with brownies I’m about to bake. You little bitch.
Before you come after me for gatekeeping consider the following:
I’m not part of the staff and I don’t make policy. I just know things amd du worrds goodie.
Healp Imst smellll toasttttttfgjo
-One Stroke Later-
Holy shit.
Define what is not a fluffy.
The spaghetti hills, stained with tomato paste and internet blood (Read: hurt feelings), stretch on as far as the eye can see. People sniffling into their unwashed bed sheets and body pillows. “Buh… buh muh headcanon…” they mutter as they try to mental gymnastics their way into what should be allowed the monicker fluffy, the utmost of their bodily activity as they sink into their computer chairs.
Are Anthros fluffies? No. The same way that Sly Cooper isn’t a raccoon, why Pooh Bear isn’t a bear (sorry Ryou if we get sued by Disney or swarmed by the CCP) and why Virgil isn’t a fox. He’s just a furry. Anthro fluffies aren’t fluffies. People who like them are furries for anthros. They made that choice willingly. I do not approve but I have to respect it on some level, it’s like living life on hard mode without being black. “BUH IN MAH STORY THEY WERE MADE IN LAB–” shut the fuck up I do not care quit being neurodivergent at me.
Is my OC a fluffy? Well that depends on certain factors, doesn’t it?
For starters, is your OC meant to be a fluffy, or just a fluffy version of another, existing character? Is it another OC that you have – turned into a fluffy?
I would say yes in this case. EY STOP PISSING DAWG I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED.
Yes, if the design actually conforms to the conventions of a fluffy as described here. It wouldn’t be a creatively impressive endeavor to do this thing, and creators who do this should expect to be made fun of until they internet-bleed and their work moved to “Non-Fluffy” by default. But strictly speaking they would have made a fluffy. So, if you want to waste the staff’s time by arguing semantics, you’re set to partake in a time-honored Fluffy Community tradition.
They definitely won’t hate you as much as they hate me for writing this. Hahahahaha.
My fluffy OC is a fluffy! It’s an alicorn, with WEIRD wings! And- and it has a WEIRD horn! And- and– That’s not a fluffy though. Generally speaking if you need to use any kind of modifying descriptor when referring to a fluffy, you’re not dealing with a fluffy anymore. “It’s a fluffy but with–” is the dead giveaway.
Do cannibal fluffies count? The ones with those WEIRD AND WACKY attributes that differentiate themselves from regular fluffies aren’t fluffies. A stupid or desperate shitrat eating other members of its kind definitely is a fluffy. I used shitrat in this part because I got tired of writing ‘fluffy’ – oh fuck me sideways I had to do it again.
What about my extrapolation on what fluffy evolution could result in? Maybe. Most of the time the answer is no. Logic would dictate that the further from the basis of fluffies one deviates, the less “fluffy” the subject becomes. Logic is not something in great supply around these parts, though.
Here’s the one example I will give. For everything else, go bother the staff.
Feral fluffies all growing more earthy colored coats as all the neon fuckfest genes get removed from the population with prejudice. - FLUFFY
Fluffies turning into a giant wooly animal-type in another ice age - NOT A FLUFFY
What about a mutant fluffy? Fuck my life, what does this even mean? Okay, do you mean a fluffy with some abnormal trait due to a unique genetic condition, or do you mean a fluffy with superpowers? You know what – both of these can lead to some retarded bullshit, either you’re creative enough to make it work or you make more work for the staff. Fuck it.
What about this art or story I wrote that isn’t related to fluffies at all? I would imagine the answer to this question comes from the fucking question, my completely hypothetical comrade. Either it belongs to “Non-Fluffy” or it goes into the “Shitposting/Personal” category. I personally have a dump thread where people can post their work unrelated to fluffies, so if that’s you and you’re actually reading this shit then let’s see your shit!
CONCLUSION.
Either this will actually help matters going forward, or it will accelerate someone’s push for getting me banned and my work here removed and replaced. Part of the fun is finding out alongside the rest of you.
But at least when I write to inform people, I don’t have to refer to a list of cherry picked creators and their works that I have a personal connection to.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to see a professional about that stroke I had earlier holy shit.