Where the Poopie Babbehs Go
Originally Penned January 13th, 2020
You are Strong Branch.
After dropping Cloud Softies off with your mummah, you went to go visit the Smarty Council. You felt like you should tell your daddeh how you felt about your brother, since he had always listened to you talk about things that gave you heart-hurties. It was beautiful at this time, when the bright-ball was going down and it was almost dark time. The light shone warm colors through the leafies overhead, glistening on the grassies below. Mummahs were shepherding their babbehs inside and getting them ready for sleepies. You nearly tripped over a derpy babbeh as you walked through the village. You stumbled backwards, landing on your rump. “Sowwy babbeh,” you apologized, helping the tiny blue unicorn to her feet. She studied you closely with her funny eyes. She stuck her tongue out, smiling. As you walked away, she chirped some gleeful-sounding gibberish and scampered back across the clearing. If you had accidentally stepped on her and given her forever sleepies, her mummah probably would’ve apologized for her babbeh getting in your way.
You wished you could stop having thoughts like that. You didn’t want to hurt anybody - well, not anymore. Or… did you? Was one good memory enough to make you forgive Cloud Softies for being your mummah’s favorite? Was it fair to be angry at him for something like that?
“Cum in, fwuffy.”
You snapped out of your thoughts, turning to face the voice that had called out to you. Inside the Smarty nestie were Smarty Fast Hoofsie and Smarty No See. “Fwuffy stiww dewe?” Smarty No See asked, turning left to face his fellow smarty. Smarty Fast Hoofsie, who was actually on the other’s right, simply buried his face in his hoofsies. “Who wet you be a Smarty?” he groaned, looking up at you. “What you want, Strong Branch?” The disgusted emphasis on the word you was upsetting. “Uh… Stwong Bwanch nee’ daddeh,” you mumbled sadly. Sometimes you wondered why Fast Hoofsie really hated you. The herd had plenty of nummies now, so why did he still treat you badly? You knew that it was different when you were little…
“Your daddy no am here, kid. Get wost,” he spat, gritting his teeth at you. His human talkies were so good, but you wondered how he learned them. Maybe from his before-daddy, back when he had a housie? “Go on, shoo!” he hissed. You flinched, falling onto the wooden floor of the hollowed-out tree. “Nu, whewe daddeh?” you demanded, stamping your hoofsie. He rolled his eyes, turning to face No See. “He went to go find nummies with Bwoo Sky and Grassies Green. Now go 'way.” You turned dejectedly and walked out of the nestie, thinking that your daddeh would be back soon. It was almost dark time, after all.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEE!” The call echoed through the entire forest, chilling you all to the bone. You hopped up on the stump in the center of the village, scanning the clearing. All you saw were other fluffies frozen in fear and new piles of scaredy poopies everywhere. From the clearing, there were three paths; one by the Smarty nestie leading to the stream, one by the food nestie leading deeper into the forest where there were many berry nummies, and one between two other fluffy’s nesties leading to where the humans live. Your hear-places couldn’t figure out where the scream came from until you heard a group of fluffies standing by the berry path yelp in terror.
“Scawy!” “Fwuffy hab huwties!” “Nuuu! Speshuw fwend!” These were all cries you heard as you watched a disgusting-looking brown alicorn drag himself into the clearing with his one working leggie. A dark purple earth mare fell at his side, wrapping him in a huggie. “Huuhuu!” she wailed, burying her muzzle in his fluff. As you jumped down and trotted urgently over, you were nearly trampled by the toughies running down the path. “Gu sabe oddah fwuffies!” they shouted. You heard their chanting of “Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!” get further and further away as you examined the stallion. As the crying mare lifted her head, you saw red stains on her muzzle. That fluffy wasn’t brown… he was stained with boo-boo juice. He gurgled fearfully, his see-places darting around the clearing. The fluff on one side of his face had been partly blown off, and was now hanging loosely. “Nu wan die… nu wan die…” the stallion panted repeatedly, each time more slowly. “Oh, shit!” called a voice behind you. Fast Hoofsie pushed you over, hurting your leggies. “Go get speciaw grass! Now!” he barked, turning to the crying mare at the stallion’s side. You sat there, looking into his see-places as he lay there bleeding. “Hewp… fwuffy…” he begged, reaching his hoofsie out towards you. You recognized those green see-places easily. “Gwassies Gween? Wuh happen?” you asked. Fast Hoofsie turned swiftly to you, giving you another shove. “Are you stiww here? Get out of my way!” he grunted angrily.
The toughies ran back down the path a short time after, their see-places wide. “What was it? Snake monster? Wowf monster?” Fast Hoofsie demanded urgently. The toughies stood silently. One of them, a muscular dark orange pegasus, finally chirped an answer. “O…owange hooman munstahs… w-wif boom-boom sowwy sticks. Smawty Big Twee an’ Bwoo Sky… am fowevew sweepies.” Fast Hoofsie sighed solemnly. “Hunters… dammit.” Everyone began to cry, but none more than your mummah. You turned to face her, but she had fallen into the grassies and began to wail. “Nuuuuuuhuhuhu! Speshuw fweeeeend!” she cried, slamming the grassies with her leggies. You held her tightly, giving her the best huggies you could manage right now. Your brother rolled off of her back and onto yours. “Why mummah saddies?” he asked you, crawling up beside your hear-place. “Daddeh…” you sobbed, “am fowevew sweepies.” He didn’t respond, he just curled up in your fluff and cried softly.
Fast Hoofsie sighed again, turning to the toughies. “Toughies…” he said, wiping blood from his hoofsie onto the grass, “take Grassies Green back into the forest.” They gasped, staring at him confusedly. “Fwuffy nu can get bettew if nu hewe…” a scar-covered red stallion said, cocking his head at the Smarty. “Hunters wiww be wooking for him. If he stays here, they’ww come to us. No give up the entire herd for one fwuffy.” The toughies started at him as if he were a monster, but they knew he was right.
As Grassies Green’s body slowly stopped convulsing, the toughies dragged him by his tail deeper into the forest. “No forget to cover the bwood traiw,” he grunted, straining to hold back Grassies Green’s distraught special friend.
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