The foal clearly wasn’t going to eat again tonight. He took a deep sigh and began to question his degree in sketties. Robert, as his mother called him, was dead broke. He was fifty thousand dollars in the hole from college, plus he had to pay that whore child support every month for his stupid bastard offspring. Trudging through the park on his way home from work, he looked in his fluffy wallet. Nothing.
Robert would enf a foal just for a single fucking cigarette. Racking his brain, he tried to think of what to do. He could go behind Giorno’s, they always had left over pasta. No, Robert didn’t want to look like a bitch to the one person still charitable enough to give him handouts. Maybe he could get lucky with a scratch-off. Maybe… fuck. Maybe it was time to call his folks back home.
Then, looming over him, stood a man. He looked well off, fresh pressed suit walking in the park at night. Had to be at least sixty judging from the number of wrinkles on his face. Christ, the guy looked like a scrotum. The old fuck didn’t even seem to notice Robert contemplating to himself. Perfect.
Robert aligned it perfectly. The man brought his foot down on Robert’s back, and Robert did the usual act for this.
“SCREEEEEEEEEE! Mummah, hewp babbeh! Nee gu to hospita!” Screeched Robert. The old fart jumped back, nearly falling over.
“Holy fuck! Jesus Christ, aw fuck!” The old git placed his hands on his bald head and began to spin around, shooting the occasional glance at Robert, who was really chewing up the scenery. Robert had done already shit himself, throwing in some piss for the bit.
“Babbeh nu can feww weggies! Why mus wife be su cwuel!” Robert screamed to the heavens.
The old man bend down and began inspecting the foal.
“Fuck! I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry! I’m gonna call 911!” The man said before walking a few paces away to speak to the dispatch. This would make a lovely lawsuit, probably about half a million, even more if they old man had managed to actually paralyze Robert. That would allow him to coast easily on disability till he gets too sick to breathe.
Robert sees some weird looking guy pass by him. Some fella with a turbine for a head? Robert just continues to pull out all the stops till the ambulance arrives, fuck whoever sees. Robert gets through the pain by imagining all the spaghetti he’ll get in the hospital, all the rent he can pay with the settlement, and all the sympathy he’ll get from his ex. Everything is coming up fluffy.