You carry the box inside, and before going back down for the next one, look towards the couch.
Marley, Piccolo, Snowball, Caelum and Magic, the last of whom was welcomed into the group with open, er, hooves, are all nuzzling up together in a fluffpile, watching TFN. Marley’s Captain Fluffy stuffy friend, and Piccolo’s stuffy friend of Captain Fluffy’s trusty sidekick, the Foal Wonder, are graciously being shared with the others by their owners.
And it’s the latest episode of Captain Fluffy that they’re watching. The boys are huge fans. They even got to meet the fluffy who plays Captain Fluffy, and he gave them both his autograph. (A hoofprint in ink, under the name Chris, written by a human, obviously.) The show’s actually pretty fun to watch, when you’re baked. But are they really doing another Doctor Bad-Poopies one? You prefer Professor No-Share, and you’ve argued with Marley about it. “Nu, Dawk Captain Fwuffy am bestest bad fwuffy awn Captain Fwuffy! Am gib Captain Fwuffy gud hawd wook in miwwow.” You think evil twins are played out, and that the new Dark Captain Fluffy design looks ridiculous. What’s with all the spikes? He barely even looks like Captain Fluffy anymore, he looks like if the Batman Who Laughs was a fluffy now! The debate rages on to this day.
Seth and Andre are downstairs, helping Judy unpack the moving truck. Her apartment was a lot smaller than yours, so there’s plenty of room.
So, things have been a bit crazy lately.
Turns out, Judy’s building has a no fluffies policy now. Pets in general are allowed, but the new landlady hates fluffies, and promised that if she caught one on the premises, she would nail it to the culprit’s door. Her husband used to be the landlord, before he passed away, he was cool with fluffies, and she’d been waiting for him to croak so she could enact the new policy. You and Judy think she’s done it just to have an excuse to abuse fluffies. The old bitch always carries a hammer and nails on her.
So you asked Judy if she wanted to move in with you. Hey, in your defence, the last time you made a big, life-changing decision on a whim, it turned out pretty fuckin’ well for you. Plus, she’s already practically been living here. The boys trust her, and you trust them, so you trust her. And it’ll nice to have Snowball around. You got her stuff set up in the saferoom first thing.
The quintet of fluffies watches with anticipation as Doctor Bad-Poopies, having successfully captured Captain Fluffy and the Foal Wonder (whose actor is actually close to adulthood, but real Hollywood pulls that shit all the time), has just placed them in his latest diabolical forever sleepies trap, the Wheew of Poopies.
Piccolo and Snowball snuggle together, waiting to see how Captain Fluffy will get out of this one.
Before long, Judy’s belongings are either in your apartment or in your storage unit, thanks to the aid of a couple of Judy’s friends who were passing through. One of them works as a farmhand a few miles from the city, so she’s strong enough to carry boxes that Seth and Andre, feeling thoroughly emasculated, couldn’t lift. And the other friend works out, she’s pretty buff! You think she could make it as a pro bodybuilder.
Just as the episode of Captain Fluffy has reached the credits (this time Captain Fluffy and his sidekick were saved by Iron Fluff’s timely intervention), Seth and Andre depart with their respective balls of fluff, and Judy’s friends (nice couple) depart too, after you and Judy thank everyone for pitching in.
Seth is heading out to rehearse with Zephyr. They’ve started recording a new album, freshly picked up by a big name record label. They might be heading to the top!
Andre, however, has much less glamorous plans. He’s watching Dave’s place again. Looks like Dave keeps running out of “stock”. You feel a pang in your heart for the fluffies doomed to be his prisoners, and wish you could do something about it.
As you and Judy share a bottle of champagne and a much-needed spliff, toasting the new move, she finally voices her concerns.
“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing, Cal? It’s so soon.”
“Um, daddeh?”
“Not now, Marley.” you say, not looking at him. You hear another sound in the background, besides the TV, but your conscious mind won’t recognise it until it’s too late.
“Judy, I know we’re doing the right thing. You and Snowball needed a place to live, where you could sleep without worrying about waking up to a fluffy crucifixion. I have plenty of room.”
"Daddeh."
“In a minute, Marley. Look, Judy, I once shared a monster blunt with a guy who told me that there’s a time and a place where you know, in your soul, that you have found your Way. He told me all about how everyone has to find their Way. Cool old guy, what was his name, was it Timmy, nice wife too, lived in their van with a rainbow fluffy, wonder what happened to them.”
“Daddeh!”
“Marley, please, I’m on a roll here. My point, Judy, is that this is probably part of my Way. That is, if I remember everything he said correctly. We were both pretty stoned. This is where my Way has taken me. As the old guy said, who am I to question it? My Way brought me to the Kanes, and Andre, and of course you, and all of our fluffies, and even Dave, even though he’s an asshole, I still kinda respect him. So yes, I know that we’re doing the right thing, and I know, in my soul, that when I say this, I mean it: I love you.”
You kiss Judy, one hand gently placed on her cheek, her eyes fluttering slightly. You don’t like to brag, but you’re a pretty good kisser. And that skill is useful elsewhere, too. You are a very generous lover.
“Daddeh!”
Breaking the kiss, you and Judy turn to Marley. This had better be important. You love the little guy, but you were in the middle of something.
“What’s up, Mar?”
“Piccowo an Snowbaww am doin speciaw huggies.”
“Enf! Enf! Enf! Enf! Enf! Gud feews!”
Ruh roh.