The next day, Piglet woke up early, and went hunting for nummies. He knew he had to find nummies for his special friend Yellow and her tummy babies, and now he had a hoomin baby to look after as well. Piglet knew he was a clever fluffy, and would find lots and lots of nummies.
Piglet tried to find his new friend Blue, but everywhere he looked, Blue was nowhere to be found. Piglet was sad, but knew he would find Blue later on. In the meantime, he tried to find the burger van again. Piglet really liked Burgers. They were a special sort of nummies.
Piglet searched long and hard. He walked through alleyways, and along the cold hard sidewalks. He even crossed the roads that the scary vroom munstahs ran along. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find the burger van. Piglet realised he couldn’t remember the way!
“Huuu huu… can nu find buwgews… can nu find nummies… Pigwet am a dummeh-fwuffy… huu huu huu…”
Then Piglet realised he couldn’t remember the way home either.
“Nuuu! Pigwet am WOST! Nu know way home! Can nu find Wewwow, ow tummeh-babbehs, or ugwee bawd babbeh… huu huu huu… huu huu huu…”
Piglet wandered the streets in despair, crying into his fluff.
Yellow was hungry. The last of the garlic bread and pizza crusts had been eaten the night before, and the hoomin baby was numming all her milkies. Worse still, she was starting to get tummy owwies, and could feel her babies wriggling and hoofing her inside her tummy. What if the tummy-babies had tummy-hurties? Might they have forever sleepies? Yellow was afraid.
The baby was crying again. Yellow checked if it had pooped again, but this time it had not. She tried to feed it again, but it just gurgled and cried some more.
“Wat da mattew wittew babbeh? Why cwy so much?” Yellow asked it, but the baby just kept on crying.
Several hours later, Piglet was still missing. Yellow had worstest tummy owwies. She had no more milk to feed the baby, and for some reason it felt hot and damp, even in the cold autumn air. Yellow snuggled up to it, trying to keep it warm with her fluff, and cried for Piglet.
“Pwease Pigwet…” she sniffed, “Pwease tum home soon wiv nummies… mummah am hungwy, need nummies fow miwkies an tummeh babbehs…”
Yellow cried for a long time.
Piglet had walked for what felt like years. His hooves were hurting really badly, and he had cut one of them open on a sharp piece of glass in an alleyway. It had bled some booboo juice for a little while, but now had stopped.
He was starving hungry. Earlier, he had managed to find a banana skin, and some other trashy nummies, but they were chewy and cold and horrible. Piglet wished that Luigi would find him, and carry him home to Yellow, and make his hoof owwies go away, and give them both sketties. Even Piglet knew that would never happen though.
Piglet sat down on the sidewalk in despair.
“Huu huu huuu… Pigwet wiww nu find Wewwow… nu see speciaw fwiend eva again… huu huu huuu… huuu huu huu…”
He licked his hurty hoof and sniffled.
“Nu wike tummy huwties… nu wike cowd… so tiwed… so hungy… huu huu huuu…”
He looked up again, and across the street he saw… Sketties?
It was a sign, a special picture than hoomins used to tell each other about nummies. And this sign was…
“It am WOOWEEGEE’S WESTAUWANT!” cried Piglet.
He stood back up again and ran across the road, feeling full of joy, and narrowly avoided being squished to a pulp by a large metal vroom munsta.
“Fuckin’ fluffies!” shouted the hoomin that was riding on its back, but Piglet was too happy to care about that, and ran into the back alley, to find Yellow and the ugly bald baby.
“Wewwow! Wewwow!” he called out to his special friend.
A scared looking yellow fluffy poked her head out of their safebox.
“Pigwet? Pigwet am home? Weawy?” she asked, hardly believing her eyes.
“Yes! Pigwet found da way home!” he squeaked, running up to her and giving her his bestest huggies.
“Pigwet!” Yellow sang for joy, “Wewwow am so gwad Pigwet am back! Wewwow WUV Pigwet. Had wowest scawedies and saddies… Wewwow fink dat Pigwet was nummed by meow mustahs… ow dat Pigwet found ova mawe fow speciaw huggies…”
“Nu! Pigwet wuv Wewwow… wud nu weave Wewwow fow ova mawe!” Piglet protested, hugging her fiercely.
“Den wewe was Pigwet? Pigwet was gone fow a WONG TIEM,” Yellow said, almost starting to cry again.
“Pigwet went to find nummies… but Pigwet got WOST.” Then Piglet did start to cry, remembering how scared and sad he had been.
“It Otay Pigwet,” Yellow said, comforting him, “Pigwet am home naow… did find nummies?”
“Nu…” said Piglet, looking down at the floor in shame, “Nu cud find nummies… Pigwet am dummeh-fwuffy… huu huu huu…”
Yellow sniffed, she had terrible tummy owwies, but Piglet was home, and that was what mattered. Hugs would make everything better.
“Come inside safebox Pigwet, an snuggew in nesty.”
Piglet followed Yellow back inside the safebox, and snuggled up with her and the baby. At least he was safely back home again. They settled down to sleep, even though their tummies were hurting. Piglet hugged his special friend and knew he would never lose her again. Huggies really did make everything better.
Then, the baby started to cry.
The next morning, Yellow and Piglet were exhausted, hungry, and grouchy. The baby had made worstest poopies and sicky wawas in the night, and their nest did not smell pretty. It had cried for most of the night, but finally fell asleep again. Yellow was too hungry to make any milk, so she could not feed it.
“Pigwet…” Yellow told him, sounding hungry and weak, “Pigwet need find nummies… Wewwow need nummies weawy badwy… mus eat nummies fow make miwkies, an tummeh-babbehs need nummies fow gwow big an stwong… pwease find nummies Pigwet.”
“Bu-bu-but…” Piglet began, not knowing what to say, “Piglet nu know wewe find nummies… huu huu huu…”
Yellow looked at him, and back to the hoomin baby, which was still sleeping for a while.
“Pigwet mus ask da hoomins fow nummies,” Yellow told him, “an teww dem about da babbeh… da hoomins wiw hewp fwuffies if teww dem about da babbeh.”
“But Wewwow! Hoomins is not aww wike Wooweegee! Sum of dem is mean, an huwt fwuffies!”
“Pigwet mus TWY!” Yellow shouted at her special friend, waking the baby, which started its “wahhhing” again.
Piglet limped out of the safebox, his injured hoof still hurting from the day before. Looking over his shoulder he could see Yellow, trying to comfort the baby. He knew she loved the baby more than she loved him. She probably didn’t love him at all. He limped out of the alleyway, and set off to ask some hoomins for nummies.
“Teww dem about da babbeh!” Yellow called after him.
“Pigwet wiww,” he said back quietly.
It started to rain again, and soon Piglet was soaked to the bone, his sodden wet fluff clinging to his body, making him look more like a drowned wet rat than a fluffy. He trudged through the puddles, and made his way towards the donut shop. Lots of fat hoomins were at the donut shop. Surely some of them would give him some nummies?
Piglet sat outside the shop, because the last time he had gone inside, the owner had chased him away with a large sorry stick that he used to wipe the floor with. As people went in and out of the shop, Piglet tried begging them for nummies.
“Pwease… can hav nummies? Fwuffy am hungy,” he tried, but he was ignored.
“Fwuffy can hav nummies? Pwease?” he tried, as hoomins rushed into the shop to get out of the downpour.
“Fucking shit-rat!” a blonde maned hoomin said, “Fuck-off”
Piglet sniffed, but kept on trying. The next customer was riding a vroom munstah, and ordered from a side window.
“Pwease nice mistah, can hav nummies? Need nummies for Speciaw fwiend, she am soon mummah!”
The hoomin looked down at him, with a mean look on his face, “Get a job you bum!” the hoomin yelled, then rode off on the vroom munstah.
Piglet could smell the freshly cooked donuts. They smelled so good and doughey, and Piglet could feel his mouth watering as he imagined eating them. His tummy hurt really badly.
“Pweeeaase nice mistah, can hav nummies?” he asked a red maned hoomin.
“DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN TO YOU?” the red haired lady shouted at him, before slamming the door behind her. Piglet tried begging other hoomins for a long time.
“Nummies? Can hav nummies?”
“Nummies? Pwease?”
“Nummies?” he started to whimper, “nummies?”
Piglet started to cry. Yellow had told him something to do, or to say. It was important, but he couldn’t remember what it was. Piglet knew he was a dummeh-fluffy, and that Yellow didn’t really love him. She loved the baby more than she loved him… the baby was… the baby!
“Pwease! Can hav nummies?” He asked the next hoomin going into the store, “Fwuffy need nummies fow babbeh… babbeh am hungwy an num aww da miwkies, pwease can hav nummies? Need nummies for babbeh… ow babbeh wiww… die!”
The hoomin looked down at Piglet and shouted at him.
“I don’t give a damn about your baby,” the mean hoomin said, “I hope your baby DOES die!”
Then, the hoomin kicked Piglet as hard as he could, knocking him into the road, which was know flowing with water like a river. Just then, a large vroom munstah roared past, narrowly missing Piglet, and drenching him some more. Piglet was up to his nose in a deep puddle of water, and was scared he would drown. Slowly, he managed to wade back to the side walk, and hauled himself out of the water.
“Huuu huu huu… Pigwet am stoopid-dummeh fwuffy… Nu can find nummies… Babbeh and speciaw fwiend wiww die… it aww Pigwet’s fauwt… huu huu huu… huu huu huu… huu huu huu…”
“Oh look,” a hoomin voice said, “Its a fluffy, and its crying about its babies”
Piglet looked up, blinking away his tears in the rain. There were five small hoomins looking down at him and grinning.
“N-nummies?” he asked them, hoping they would help.
“Sure,” said the biggest of the small hoomins, “We’ll give you nummies… if you show us your babies.”
“Er… I don’t wanna get in trouble again Vinnie,” said another hoomin.
“Shut up Ethan!” the first hoomin yelled back at him, “If your stupid sister hadn’t shown up, we’d have gotten away with it!”
“Hoomins wiww hewp fwuffies?” Piglet asked, “Weawy?”
“Yeah,” the first hoomin said, “show us where your babies are and we will.” The other hoomins all started laughing.
Piglet led the way back to his safebox. He was beaming with pride now. He knew he was a clever fluffy for finding hoomins that would help. They would all have nummies to eat, and Yellow would love him again.
Piglet knew he was a good fluffy!
“So,” Vinnie said, “where are the babies?”
Piglet looked up at him, “Da babbeh is in da safe boxy,” he said.
“Only one baby? Where are the rest?” Vinnie asked the soaking wet green fluffy.
“Dey stiww tummeh babbehs… onwy hav ugwy bawd babbeh.”
“Ugly bald baby?” Vinnie asked, “Yuck, you fluffies are freaks!”
Behind Vinnie, his gang all started laughing. Vinnie knew that stomping the baby to death in front of its parents would be fun. Then he would stomp the green fluffy’s special friend to death. Then he’d hurt the green fluffy really badly, but let it live, so it could suffer realising it was its own fault for leading the gang back to his nest.
Vinnie grabbed hold of a crappy old plastic tablecloth, and flipped it open, revealing a stinking fluffy nest, reeking of piss and shit, with a dirty yellow fluffy inside, and a… it was a…
“A baby!” Ethan yelled.
“What the FUCK?” Vinnie exclaimed.
“Nu huwt babbeh!” the dirty Yellow fluffy said, puffing up her cheeks and shielding the babys wriggling body with her own.
“They stole a fucking BABY,” said Vinnie, backing off in disbelief.
“Wu-wut are we gonna do Vinnie?” Ethan asked.
“Lets run!” another kid suggested.
“No! We can’t leave the baby,” said the only girl in the gang, “We’ve gotta tell someone!”
Vinnie was lost for words.
“There’s cops, in the donut shop,” said Ethan, “They’ll know what to do.”
The kids all ran off to the donut shop.
Yellow was scared. First, Piglet showed up with a gang of small hoomins. Something about the way they laughed told Yellow that they were mean hoomins, who would hurt the fluffies, or worse still, the baby. She wouldn’t let that happen though, as she knew she would do anything to protect it.
Then, more hoomins came. Fat blue hoomins, from the donut shop, wearing blue not-fluff. Then even more hoomins came, from the donut shop and the nearby not-fluff washing place shop. They all gathered around and took the baby from her. She tried to give them worstest bities but they were too strong for her. Worse still, some of them even kicked Piglet and called them both “bad fluffies”. They threw Piglet back in the box with her, and turned it on its side so they couldn’t get out. Then they shouted lots of mean things at the fluffies, talking about worstest owwies and forever sleepies. It was terrifying.
Frank couldn’t believe this shit. It was nearly the end of his shift, and he was going to run out the clock eating donuts and drinking coffee when a bunch of kids came running in and started yelling about some fluffies that had kidnapped a baby. He didn’t believe them at first, but they kept on and on about it until he went out in the rain to have a look.
Fuck me if it wasn’t a baby, Frank though to himself. Somehow, those damn ferals that lived behind Luigi’s restaurant had managed to steal a human baby, just a few days old, and in bad shape from what he could tell. How the fuck had they managed to do that? He’d quickly picked up the baby and wrapped it in a blanket. Now, they were keeping it warm in the back of his squad car while they waited for an ambulance to take it to the hospital. Frank sure hoped she’d be ok. How the hell had the fluffies stolen her?
The crowd was getting angry. They wanted to kill the fluffies for stealing the baby, or for hurting it. Rumours were spreading quickly and the crowd was growing, with a mob mentality that Frank had seen before. He knew he had to do something before things turned ugly. Ordinarily he’d turn a blind eye to people killing fluffies. After all, the law said they were “biotoys” and not animals. Frank knew that was bullshit of course, but he was a police officer, and fluffies were basically vermin. No-one cared about rats, but these rats could talk. He needed to find out how they stole the baby.
“These fluffies are under arrest,” he said, grabbing them by the scruffs of their necks and hauling them through the angry crowd back to his squad car.
“Bad upsies!” Said the green and brown fluffy.
“Nu huwt fwuffy! Fwuffy am soon mummah!” said the dirty yellow fluffy. God but they stank.
“Under arrest?” an angry man asked, “They stole a baby, we should kill them right now!”
“YEAH!” people in the crowd added.
“I’ve gotta interogate them,” Frank told them, trying to calm them down, “Find out where they found the baby, maybe we can find its parents that way.”
The crowd continued to yell and howl for the fluffies blood. Frank ignored them and got into his car, putting the fluffies in the passenger footwell. The green fluffy had shat itself with fear Frank noticed. He slammed the door on the angry crowd and the rainy sky.
“You fluffies are lucky I found you first,” he told them.
