ASK FLUFFIESAREFOOD
Volume 1 Number 15
Happy Friday Fluffherders! It’s time for another edition of Ask FluffiesAreFood, the advice column that seeks to answer questions of fluffherders and fluffy eaters everywhere! If you have a question, just comment here!
PaoloAlfa asks:
Do you have any recipes for Fluffy Tears Sauce? I have heard that the taste of Fluffy Tears can range from appallingly bitter to candy sweet and bold to delicate, all depending on how they are harvested. Your comments?
I’m glad you asked, PaoloAlfa, because this is something that I just learned last week at the Convention. As it turns out, all fluffy tears are naturally sweet, with a slight caramel flavor. The method of harvesting doesn’t change the underlying flavor. However, the worse the stress of the fluffy at the time of harvest, the greater the sugar content and the sweeter the tears. We aren’t sure why this happens, but there is a theory that, as fluffies convert fructose stores to glucose when distressed, and create sucrose as a by-product, the blood sugar spikes, and some of those sugars leak into the tears. But for some reason, while that sugar spike declines with prolonged abuse, the lactic acid produced by acute abuse prior to slaughter (which gives fluffy meat a more savory flavor) doesn’t make it into the tears. Fluffy scientists are still working on figuring out the mechanism behind this phenomenon.
Right now, I bet you’re asking yourself - as I did - how come you can get tears in flavors that range from delicate to bold caramel to bitter. The answer is in the distillation process. The more water we remove from the tears through distillation, the sweeter the final result. Similarly, a different distillation and filtering process can bring out different flavors. Heat-treating tears brings out the caramel flavors; running distilled tears through different filters yields extracts that contain higher concentrations of bitter-tasting phenols or fruity-tasting esters; and so on. The result is a wide variety of possible flavors of fluffy tears, useful for everything from your morning coffee to your evening dessert.
Speaking of distillation, I had a chance to try a new line of alcoholic spirits made from fermented and distilled fluffy tears. Rainbow Distillery out of Yreka, California, has a line of liquors called Fluffy Rums. Their basic product, Pessimistic Pony, is reminiscent of a standard rum with a nutty caramel aftertaste, and comes in at a reasonable $20 WUSA for a 750mL bottle. Their mid-line products are the Heartbroken Hornie, which has a strong nutty flavor, and the Wistful Wingie, which has a sweeter flavor reminiscent of apricot nectar. They come in at $50 WUSA per bottle. Their premium product is Upset Alicorn, which has a wonderfully complex flavor, reminiscent of toasted and candied pecans. At $150 WUSA per bottle, it’s not cheap, but it’s competitive with other top shelf liquors. Right now these liquors are only available in Siskiyou County, California, but a distribution deal is in the works that would bring it to the entire reunited USA. And, they’re developing a line of ice creams, too!
Just as a note: Fluffy Rums as produced by Rainbow Distillery are liquors and not liqueurs. A liqueur is a distilled alcohol that is sweetened or flavored. Rainbow Distillery’s products, on the other hand, are liquors in that the flavors come out of the tears distillation, fermentation, alcohol distillation, and aging processes.
Finally, since you asked for a recipe for Fluffy Tears Sauce, there are SIX different recipes in my book, The Art of Cooking Fluffies, plus several recipes that make their own sauce! In fact, here’s a recipe I showed off at the Convention just this last weekend! It’s easy and tasty, and I think you will enjoy it!
FLUFFY STEAKS WITH TEAR SAUCE
INGREDIENTS
4 6oz fluffy steaks
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
3 tablespoons butter (cow or fluffy), divided
1/4 cup distilled fluffy tears
1/4 cup whipping cream (cow or fluffy)
DIRECTIONS
Sprinkle steaks evenly with salt and pepper.
Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add steaks, and cook 3 minutes on each side or to desired degree of doneness. Remove steaks from skillet, and keep warm.
Add tears to skillet, stirring to loosen particles from bottom of skillet. Add remaining 2 tablespoons butter; cook, stirring constantly, until the mix achieves a caramel color.
Remove skillet from heat; whisk in cream until blended. Return to heat, and bring to a boil; cook, stirring constantly, 1 minute or until thickened. Serve immediately over steaks.
Garnish, if desired.
Ask FluffiesAreFood is a service of the Fluffherders’ Association of America. If you have a question about raising, slaughtering, or eating of fluffies, you may comment here.