ASK FLUFFIESAREFOOD
Volume 1 Number 16
Happy Saturday Fluffherders! It’s time for another edition of Ask FluffiesAreFood, the advice column that seeks to answer questions of fluffherders and fluffy eaters everywhere! If you have a question, just comment here!
ShitRatSupreme asks:
I have heard varying figures regarding the caloric content and nutritional composition of fluffy meat. I teach SERE courses with a volunteer group in the Confederacy, and we are trying to include all likely food sources which personnel in a SERE situation might encounter. Also, can a human survive on a diet of only fluffy meat, for how long, and are there any major health issues this may cause?
Sincerely,
ShitratSupreme,
57th Torch Legion Volunteer Infantry,
Carolina Confederate Guardsmen.Note: this answer has been cleared by the United States Department of Defense as not providing material aid to the enemy. We thank them for the opportunity to cooperate. Certified 2080-0818-1121 Col. Gavenraj Singh US Army
Well SRS, the nutritional composition of a pound of fluffy meat is much like the nutritional composition of a pound of beef - it depends on the cut. An adult fluffy typically yields two sides, each one of which has about 2-3 pounds of meat, and four legs with 1 pound of meat each. Pegasi yield another pound or so of wing meat, which is actually fairly tough but good in stew.
A human cannot survive solely on fluffy meat without Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0951. After a few weeks Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0952 can set in, leading to Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0952. So my advice would be to include Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0953 in your survival gear. Another option is to use the meat to make pemmican. If you include dried, locally found berries, you should have a good survival food that will last you for Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0954. Just be careful Redacted by USDOD, 2080-0818-0954.
sugarnacid asks:
How is fluffy pate? I don’t want to hurt innocent geese.
This is a great question, sugarnacid!
First, for those who don’t know, pate is basically ground-up flavored livers, and you can make it out of chicken livers. The most infamous pate is pate fois gras, or goose liver pate, which is made out of the livers of mistreated geese. Fortunately, our friends at ASPCA have laid out guidelines for how to raise geese to produce proper, humane fois gras.
Naturally, you can also make pate with fluffy livers! The flavor will depend on their diet. Grass-and-fruit fed fluffies produce the best livers for this, and commercial fluffy pate made from this grade of fluffy liver can go for $50 (WUSA!) a pound. You can make your own pate from fluffy livers, too, using the recipe below.
FLUFFY PATE
Ingredients
1 pound of undistressed fluffy or foal livers (chopped) - requires livers from about 8 fluffies or 24 foals. (Note: livers from distressed fluffies will be practically inedible.)
1 medium onion
1 cup fluffy tallow (divided, can use olive oil, bacon fat, lard or duck fat)
2-3 tablespoons minced garlic
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar (balsamic or red wine vinegar would also taste great with this)
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh rosemary
1 tablespoon fresh thyme
salt and pepper to taste
Directions
Fry liver and onions in 2 tablespoons of tallow, until onions are caramelized and the livers are cooked through.
Add the garlic, cider vinegar, rosemary, and thyme.
Cook for a few more minutes until the liquid from the vinegar is reduced.
Remove from heat and let it cool for 5 minutes.
Transfer to a food processor with 1/4-1/2 cup of tallow.
Process until smooth, adding the remaining tallow as you go, until moist and creamy.
Ask FluffiesAreFood is a service of the Fluffherders’ Association of America. If you have a question about raising, slaughtering, or eating of fluffies, you may comment here.
