Bestest Sickie Friends: Buyer's Manual 3 (by fluffysomething)

AN: See Bestest Sickie Friends: Buyer’s Manual 1 and Bestest Sickie Friends: Buyer’s 2 for more information. Enjoy!


Do Bestest Sickie Friends have genders?

Yes, but also no. Bestest Sickie Friends have no physiological signs of being male or female, but their voice usually will give it away. Higher pitched voices (higher than average) indicate the Bestest Sickie Friend being female, and lower pitched voices (the average pitch for a Bestest Sickie Friend) indicate the Bestest Sickie Friend being male. Bestest Sickie Friends usually refer to each other in gender-neutral terms unless told otherwise (e.g, pawentaw viwus, sibwings, etc). Both male and femele Bestest Sickie Friends can make ‘sickie-juicesies’ (mentioned later).


Can Bestest Sickie Friends have ‘bestest babbehs’?

Yes, and it’s slightly more common than you think. Instead, they call these ‘favowite bay-bees’. The best way to stop favoritism in Bestest Sickie Friends is-


Can I eat Bestest Sickie Friends?

Yes, and they do make some very good dishes. Some precautions you’re recommended to take are:

• Take out the small hard ball located in the middle of the Bestest Sickie Friend. This contains its psuedo-brain and genetic material and therefore, shouldn’t be eaten.

• Cook in a pot of boiling water that’s at least 150° Fahrenheit to cease any remaining Bestest Sickie Friend infectiousness.

• Let the Bestest Sickie Friend stay in a cold room or cooler for the same reason as listed above.


Do Bestest Sickie Friends eat each other?

Yes, but only in truly dire situations. Bestest Sickie Friends frown upon eating each other, especially if the other Bestest Sickie Friend is a child. If left without any type of fluffy waste and other Bestest Sickie Friend-safe food products and you have 2+ Bestest Sickie Friends in your household, they will start planning who gets eaten first.


Can Bestest Sickie Friends have ‘replication-huggies’ with each other? Does that mean my Bestest Sickie Friend is pregnant?

Yes, they can. Though rare, it’s usually not consentual. As for the Sickie-Friend pregnancy part, should I draw that? Anyways, no. Your Bestest Sickie Friend cannot get pregnant.


Can Bestest Sickie Friends go into the ‘wan-die’ loop?

Yes, but they usually say ‘wan gu fowevew-night-nights’ instead. Bestest Sickie Friends, on average, will be able to take their own lives successfully compared to Fluffies due to their slightly higher intelligence, and easy accessibility of things that kill Bestest Sickie Friends and regular-degular viruses alike.


How smart are Bestest Sickie Friends?

Fluffies (in my headcanon) have the average intelligence of a 2-4 year old. Bestest Sickie Friends can rage anywhere from that if they’re derped to about the intelligence of a 5-7 year old but lite™️.


Bestest Sickie Friends and the Aforementioned Regular-Degular Viruses

Bestest Sickie Friends refer to these as ‘wittwe sickie-fwiends’ and will often get mad that they can’t play with them or give them hugs. Other than that, they’re basically the real thing, just slightly smarter/dumber and heavily attenuated (most of the time).


What do I feed my baby Bestest Sickie Friend?

Baby Bestest Sickie Friends (from birth all the way until the middle of the ‘talkie-walkie’ stage) drink a opaque, watery, and slightly sweet liquid that Bestest Sickie Friends call “sickie-juicesies”. The correct, Hasbio-given term for this is Nutri-Juice™️.


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