AN: Techically a Bestest Sickies story. Enjoy!
The camera faces towards two very happy-looking people in Hasbio™️ suits.
“Now, our newest addition to the Fluffies™️ product line… Bestest Sickie Friends! Bestest Sickie Friends are bioengineered viruses with fluffy genetic material who’s purpose in life is to love you unconditionally!” One of them cheers, holding up a small ball-shaped item.
“Bestest Sickie Friends are enlarged up to 5 inches wide and 3 inches tall, so you can hug and love your new friend instead of having to buy a microscope just to see them!” The other person says happily, holding up another ball-shaped item.
“Bestest Sickie Friends get the ability to make anyone sick taken away from them at birth! Meet FV-37463! FV-37463, tell us how you’re doing and how happy you are.” The person smiles, talking to the ball-shaped item.
“Wan gu fowevew night-” It sobs, the camera cutting off.
The camera returns to FV-37463, now covered in what appears to be chemical burns and discolored lashes.
“Wub- wub fwiends! Wub, wub, wub!” It sniffles, shaking slightly.
“Bestest Sickie Friends can talk! They love you back from day 1! Here’s how we make Bestest Sickie Friends!” The person laughs, turning the camera.
The camera cuts to a large factory with some of the aforementioned bioengineered viruses sobbing in the background, others being picked up by other Hasbio™️ researchers.
“First, we enlarge them to about a few centimeters. This is their first stage of life, or the ‘Bestest Sickie Friends: Babies!’ edition.” The person says, picking a tube up and injecting something into it, causing the thing inside to grow rapidly.
“They make noise when they’re new babies, just like Fluffies! Next, we sort them into better-looking colors and worse-looking colors, just like Fluffies!” Another person directs, bringing the camera to two bins.
“Pwease! Nu tay-ke bay-bee! Bay-bee nee’ pawentaw viwus!” One of the Bestest Sickie Friends™️ cry out, holding its “arms” out for its baby.
“Sorry, your baby is a bad baby! Bad babies get put in the bad baby bin.” The person smiles at it, putting the baby in a bin labeled ‘Biohazardous Material: Incinerate’.
“Then, we get the good-colored babies and check to make sure they’re not gonna get anyone sick on accident, then put them in their cans!” The person nods to someone, picking up a baby and proceeding to do something with it.
“This is a good baby! Let’s put it in this little can, and send it off!” Someone else says, putting the baby into a brightly-colored can and putting the can into a tube.
The camera cuts back to the white room the two people were standing in, showing multiple Bestest Sickie Friends™️ in different stages of life.
“This is the first stage! Squeaky-babies can’t talk, but they do make noise like chirpie-babies! This stage lasts 3 months.” The person explains, picking up a very small Bestest Sickie Friend™️ and waking it up.
“Squeak! Peep, peep! Squeak! Peep!” It peeped, quickly going back to sleep.
“This is the second stage! Talkie-walkie babies can talk and walk, and start to be more independent with certain things! This stage lasts 3 months!” Someone else says, picking up another slightly larger Bestest Sickie Friend™️ and tapping it.
“Pwease wet Eff-vee-siks-tee-twee see pawentaw viwus 'gain. Wan huggies…” It sighed, looking down at the floor.
“This is the third stage! Big kids can talk and walk, but are still dependent on you! This is the stage where Bestest Sickie Friends™️ might start asking for “housie-friends for cell huggies” and “need make friends”. This stage lasts 4 months!” The person nods, tapping the Bestest Sickie Friend™️ twice.
“Pwease be housie-fwiend. Eff-vee-siks-five-zewo-fouw nee’ mak fwiends… Am saddies…” It groans, just before getting thrown across the room.
“This is the fourth stage! Adults are still dependent on you, but can talk, walk, and do other fun things! This stage lasts the rest of their lives!” The person explains, tapping the Bestest Sickie Friend™️ repeatedly.
“Wha? Oh, hewwo. Namesie am Eff-vee-twee-two-five-won.” It says tiredly, laying back down.
The camera cuts to a fluffy with a Bestest Sickie Friend, giving it a very awkward hug.
“Even fluffies will love Bestest Sickie Friends™️! Fluffy, do you like your friend?” Someone asks, picking up the fluffy.
“Nu wike viwus-fwend! Am mak’ fwuffy si-” The fluffy cries, the camera cutting off suddenly.
The camera cuts back on, the fluffy shaking and holding back tears.
“Es! Wike viwus-fwend su muchies… Wub!” The fluffy says, enclosing the Bestest Sickie Friend™️ into a tighter hug.
“Can nu move! Hewp!” It cries, trying to get away from the fluffy.
The camera cuts back to the white room, with the same two people standing in it.
“That’s all! Buy Bestest Sickie Friends™️ today of only 15 dollars at most stores, or 3 dollars at any Sickie-Friend-in-a-Can machine!” Someone says, turning off the camera.