This is supplementary material for another thing I’m working on, if it seems strangely out of place. If you’re wondering who Cinnamummah is, Cinnamummah, Star of FluffTV this will be helpful.
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The video begins with cheesy, over-the-top happy stock music that seems pulled straight from the 1980s. Bouncing rainbow letters spell out the title:
“Hewwo, gud daddeh!” Cinnamummah chirps happily as she marches out onto the set. The set being a cheaply made playground, scratchy green astroturf, a small sandbox, and several children’s toys scattered around for the illusion. A few of her on-stage foals scampered about playing with balls and blocks, not paying much mind to the man and the mare.
“Ah, hello, good to see you Cinnamummah! I see you and your babies are having a happy day.” The man is middle aged. You swear you recognize him from somewhere and that he may have had a drug issue which dragged him down to such heights as being in an educational video by Hasbio.
“Su gewd! Buh…buh…am SMAWTY MAWE in pway pwace!” The camera zoomed in on Cinnamummah’s pudgy face, shaking in and out dramatically as ominous music played. The scene faded out.
“Smarty Mare’s. Like their male counterparts, they are every owners worst nightmare.” The voice doing the narration was gravelly and serious. It was like the same dude who was in every drug PSA, most likely. A new scene starts, black and white. A mare and her foal standing next to a broken vase.
“Who broke this vase!?” Their owner asked, the mare poking a hoof at her foal. “Bebbeh did! Su su bad bebbeh!”
“Capable of deception…“
The scene faded out, this time showing an obviously over-pampered mare stuffed into a grocery cart at a Fluffmart. She was squealing and flailing her hooves around, crying quite believably.
“Manipulation”
"Mummah nu get Bawey nyu toysies? Mummah hate Bawey! Bawey onwy wittle babbeh!” The squealing continued until a new stuffy friend was placed into the cart, the mare’s tears drying up immediately.
“And even“ A dramatic music sting. ”MURDER!?“
Now only a single grainy photograph of a colorful group of foals was on-screen. It slowly zoomed in, cartoon X’s appearing over their eyes. “Perhaps.”
The examples stopped, back at the playground again. The actor sitting in front of Cinnamummah nodded gravely. “Don’t worry, that bad Smarty Mare bothering you and your good babies is currently being brought to…” His voice was cut off as a neutral, obviously Microsoft-Sam voice read off in a monotone: Clearview Fluffy Wellness Center.
“At this fine establishment, I’m sure she’ll find the help she needs with a caring staff and state of the art equipment. Say, what’s that little guy doing!?” He asked with far too much optimism, the camera panning over to a dancin’ babbeh. Panning far more quickly than expected as a viewer could see a stagehand dangling a plate of sketti over the foals to get them to dance.
“Babbeh dancin’! Dancin’ party!” Cinnamummah said happily, going over to join in on the festivities. Heck, even the jaded old actor you think you might recognize gets in to join on the fun. Keyed up stock rock music begins to play as they all boogie down and cheer, the scene fading to black.
PRODUCED BY HASBIO, FLUFFTV DIVISION
REMEMBER: AN EDUCATED FLUFFY IS A HAPPY FLUFFY
