Forever Babies (by fluffysomething)

The camera cuts to two very happy-looking Hasbio employees.


“Do you want your Fluffies™️ and Bestest Sickie Friends™️ to be even cuter than they already are?” One of them says, as the other one opens a box and pulls out a fluffy foal and a very small Bestest Sickie Friend.

“Meet Forever Babies™️! Forever Babies stay in their cutest stage of life* forever!” The other one cheers, sounding very excited as the camera turns off, the word ‘life’ showing up with a asterisk on the screen just before.


The camera cuts to the aforementioned fluffy foal and very small Bestest Sickie Friend.


“Chirp! Peep! Peep!” The foal peeps, getting fed by one of the Hasbio™️ employees.

“To keep Forever Babies™️ this little forever, we have two ways depending on what kind of Forever Baby™️ you get! If you get a fluffy Forever Baby™️, feed it this specially-patented formula every day to keep results!” The Hasbio™️ employees smiles at the camera as it turns towards another Hasbio™️ employee holding a child Bestest Sickie Friend.

“Pwease giv sickie-fwiend num-nums! Sickie-fwiend hav weached viwaw matuwity, buh nu wook wike it aneemowe! Pwease giv num-nums… Nu wan be bay-bee 'gain…” The aforementioned Bestest Sickie Friend cries out, whimpering and sobbing quietly.

“Bestest Sickie Friends™️ can’t continue being virally mature without some sort of energy! Don’t feed your specially-made Bestest Sickie Friend, and you’ll get results in about two weeks! That’s faster than the normal viral maturity reversal time in regular Bestest Sickie Friends, which is about a month!” The Hasbio™️ employee explains joyfully, sitting down the wailing Bestest Sickie Friend before doing a small dance.


The camera cuts to the two Hasbio™️ employees again.


“Buy yours today at any Hasbio™️ store, or the website! Goodbye!” One of the Hasbio™️ employees smile, waving as the screen cuts to disclamers.


  • Due to Bestest Sickie Friends’ 98% viral origin, they cannot be considered alive.

  • Side effects of the Forever Babies™️ formula in fluffies includes, but not limited to: infertilty, excessive emotional changes, brittle bones, tumors, and facial deformities. This is not a complete list.

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To the degree the latter ever were, the shoggoth biohazards.
Now, harvesting Sensitive Babbehs, THAT is ethical.

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