*Peep! Mummah! Peep! Mummah Daddeh! Peep Peep! Nee Miwkies! *
Your name is Danny, you’re an unemployed shut-in with a house all to yourself and you’ve been taking care of a Fluffy babbeh for about a month.
The Fluffy babbeh was placed at your doorstep with no note or anything to shed light on why or how it had been left there. It would all have been a pretty unremarkable and cliche tale about a surprise pet adoption, if it weren’t for the fact that Fluffys don’t exist.
“Geez bud, I’ve already fed you, like… an hour ago!”
Oh they exist in the sense that some strange individuals write stories about them online, but besides that very small group the concept of bioengineered MLP shit machines is completely fictional and relegated to a niche corner of the internet for people with particular interests.
*Peep! Huuuuu! Peep! Wan Miwkieees! Tummeh Huwtieeeee! *
That was what you had thought, and this technically still is the case.
Whether online in Internet forums or the news on TV, there has been no mention of the fictional horse monsters suddenly popping up and randomly coming into reality. It truly was only happening to you.
Maybe the NEET life has gotten to you and the isolation has caused you to hallucinate.
Despite all that you presume to know about these Fluffy things, being intentionally written to be little hell gremlins, you have decided to raise the creature and see where that will take you.
You’ve thought about letting someone know about this thing existance at some point but realized that wouldn’t accomplish much, or it wouldn’t be as fun as this could be.
You didn’t have anyone to show since you had no IRL friends, and posting him on the internet was useless.
If anyone were to come and see the reality of your Fluffy babbeh they would probably try to take him away to perform an autopsy like some E.T. parody.
No, you want to have some fun with the little impossibility of nature.
“Fine, but I’m not giving you any more to drink today.”
The thing has gotten bigger in the past week, It was now the size of a soda can and it was voracious. Your old method of feeding it through a coffee straw was proving too little for it, so you had upgraded to a regular sized one. This had worked for a while but soon the babbeh had been demanding more strawfulls each day.
You bring the room temperature milk to the babbeh through a straw, the Fluffy babbeh reaching out with his stubby little pseudo hooves. He frantically tries to latch onto the straw with his mouth and even tugs at the straw as if he could take the straw from you.
This had only succeeded in you losing your grip on the straw and having the milk drain out the bottom half and pouring straight into the babbehs unprepared throat.
*KAK- KAK- KAK- HUUU! Mm-KAK- MEANIE MIWKIEEEES! KAK- HUUUUUU! *
“It’s your own fault buddy, you gotta drink slower-”
*Huuuuuuu! KAK- Huu… Nu few pwettyyy… KAK- HuuuUU-EEEE-! *
*PBBBBBBBTTTT TTT TT *
The milk drenched babbeh lets out a torrent of liquid shits all over your table, shooting a diarrhea spray across the desk and half a foot up the wall.
You rise out of your desk chair, your legs pushing it across the room as you step back in fear of getting a good coating of doodoo all over you.
*HUUU! MUMMAHHH DADDEH!!! PEEP! PEEP! NU SMEW PWETTYYY!! PEEP! *
The babbeh starts flailing its stubby little hooves, his hind legs smacking the shit puddle under his rump splashing it further around your desk and getting doodie on the quarter pounder you had doordashed.
“GAH! WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKIN’ DUMB FUCKSHIT!”
*HUUUU! NU BAD WOWDIES MUMMAH DADDEH!! AM BAD FO BABBEEEHHH! HUUU *
You grab the shit covered Fluffy and run to the bathroom, trying to get as little shit on the hallway floor as possible.
*BAD UPSIEEE! NUUU!!! SCREEEEEEE!!! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *
You practically throw the thing in the sink, hitting the porcelain with a wet plop. You hear the little poopie doodoo babbeh let out a sharp squeaky cry before you shut the bathroom door to go attend to your gamer zone.
You spend around half an hour cleaning the entire mess from the desk to the walls and hallway. You despair at the shit splattered burger you had bought, you even gave a pretty good tip for it and it was barely half eaten.
You calm yourself as much as you could before making your way to the bathroom.
*huu huuuu huuuuuuuuuuuu *
You can hear the thing crying through the walls before opening the bathroom door.
*Gasp! * Mummah Daddeeeh! Peep! Hewp bebbeh! Peep! Nu wike sowwy boxy! Peep! Peep! Nu wike nu smeww pwetty! Peep! Nee huggies! Peep! *
You can feel a vein popping on your forehead as you stomp over to the bathroom sink, your figure looming over the pitiful creature as it looks up at you with its beady tearful eyes. The thing is still covered in its own feces, and the lines of dung trailing across the sink shows its attempt to escape from its ceramic prison.
Thoughts of punishment and torture flash across your mind as you glare at the unremorseful creature. You think of turning the faucet on hot and waiting for the water to become burning hot before closing the drain and letting it boil. Or taking out the towel rod and using it as a so-called ‘sorry stick’ to beat across its back. You think about shoving it in the gallon of Draino you had under the sink and shaking it wildly. You even think about just flushing it down the toilet to join the other pieces of shit.
You’re violent thoughts crescend until all you see is blinding white, and your mind empties and is still for a moment. The rage subsides as our thoughts clear away in the empty whiteness, and you soon start to think things through with a clear mind.
“I’ve always cleaned you by hand every time you poo…”
You start to think aloud. The babbeh looking at you, mouth open in confused silence.
“I haven’t tried to potty train you so I shouldn’t expect you to know not to shit wherever…”
*W-Wha? Peep! *
“You are getting bigger so that means I need to start teaching you to eat solid foods and how to use the bathroom properly…”
*Wha… Peep! Wha am baff woom Mummah Daddeh? Wha am poddie twain? Peep! *
“It means making good poopies… You know what good poopies are…don’t you…”
The Fluffy babbeh looks up at you as if some revelation struck it and revealed some profound knowledge.
*Peep! Peep! Guud… Poopies?… Peep! *
“That’s right, you need to go poopies where I tell you. That makes them good poopies, and if you make good poopies, that makes you a good babbeh…”
His eyes light up a bit from your words.
*Guud…Babbeh… *
“And if you’re a good babbeh, that makes me very happy…”
*…Wan make… Mummah Daddeh…happeh… Peep! Wan… Be guud babbeh… Wan…Mummah Daddeh… Wub Babbeh! Peep! Peep! *
“Yeah sure, If you’re a good babbeh and do what I tell you, I’ll… … llloooooike you, whatdya say bud.”
*Peep! Peep! Babbeh wub Mummah Daddeh! Peep! Am be guud babbeh for Mummah Daddeh! Peep! Am make bestest poopies for Mummah Daddeh! Peep! *
“Grrrreaaat… We can start your training tonight…First lets get you cleaned up."
You turn the faucet on.
*Gasp * WAWA BAD FOR BABBEHHH!! SCREEEEE!!!SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *