The miracle Fluffy babbeh you have been raising for a month or so now has outgrown his old box bed, as well as being evicted from the top of your desk. The babbeh is now allowed to walk around on the floor of your room where before you had confined it to only your table. It has taken to what you have heard as ‘splorin’, going around in circles and getting lost in your small room.
*Peep! Peep! Babbeh…am spwuow! Peep! Peep! *
With each loop it seems to think each turn it takes is a completely new area, taking about 12 minutes for each rotation. You leave it on its own to play on your computer.
*Peep! Peep! Mummah? Peep! Mummah-Daddeh! Peep! Tummie huwties! Peep! *
You pause your game and in your chair turn towards the creature on your bedroom floor. You point towards the dog bowl in the corner of the room, full of untouched dog kibble both of which you had found rooting through the basement.
“You have your food right there buddy.” You cross your arms and await the predictable response.
*Peep! Peep! Huu… Bebbeh! Peep! Bebbeh nee… Miwkies! Peep! Peep! *
“I told you already, you aren’t getting milk any more. That is what you have to eat to be a good babbeh now, otherwise you’ll make me upset.”
The Fluffy babbeh turns around head downcast and waddling dejected towards the food bowl.
*Huu… Wan miwkies… Peep! Bu… Wan be guud babbeh… Huuuu… *
He stands over the small bowl of kibble you placed this morning, you had soaked it in water to soften it up for the creature resulting in a mush.
*Peep! Huuuuu…! Nu wike nu miwkie kibbew… Huuuuuuuu… Peep! Peep! *
You watch as it cries tears into its food bowl before lowering its muzzle down into the slop and taking reluctant bites, the whole time sniveling and huuing away at its meal.
It barely finishes half the bowl before turning back to you and plopping its ass on the floor, it stares up at you sitting in your chair.
*Peep! Peep! Mummah-Daddeh! Peep! Babbeh nummie kibbew! Peep! Peep! *
You turn back to the thing and reach over to pat its tiny head.
“Gooood… That’s good, you’re being a good babbeh.”
*Coo… Peep! Peep! Babbeh! Peep! Can hab miwkies now? Peep! *
You withdraw your hand and turn back to your computer, actively ignoring the thing as it awaits with bated breath for you to shower it in ‘bestest miwkies’.
It’s actually quiet for a minute, that is until you start to hear the waterworks start.
*HUUUUUU!!! NEE MIWKIEEEES! PEEP! AM GUUD BABBEEHHHH! HUUUUUUUUU!!! *
You continue to ignore the tantrum that the Fluffy babbeh is dishing out, boosting your speaker to drown out the little turds cries in this sweet game soundtrack.
It suddenly plops on the ground on its back and begins flailing like a worm having a seizure, all the while still bawling its eyes out.
*HUUUU!!! AM GUUD BABBEH! HUUUUU!!! BABBEH AM FOW WUB! HUUUU!!! WHY NU WUB BABBEH! HUUUUUUUU!!! *
You take a moment to turn to look at the creature squirming around on the floor, it’s dumb thrashing looking absolutely ridiculous.
The sight elicits a small chuckle from you.
The babbehs flailing slows down a bit, sniffling, it sits back up on its rump and looks up at you with tear soaked cheeks and a snot drenched snout.
*Huuuu… sniff… Mummah- sniff… Mummah-Daddeh wub babbeh dancie? Sniff… Huuuuuu… *
The babbeh begins flailing its hooves in a more rhythmic way, looking even dumber than before. The snot and tears running down its face as it shakes its stubby little digits lends to an incredibly silly display.
You can’t help but chuckle at it some more.
*sniff… Babbeh… sniff… Babbeh…Be dancie babbeh… Fo Mummah-Daddeh… sniff… *
It looks like a miserable little potato doing the monkey like Johnny Bravo.
You start laughing at that image in your head and step out of your chair, the babbeh sad face looking at you with a hopeful smile.
You reach out towards the Fluffy babbeh, its arms instinctively stretching up in an ‘upsies’ pose. You lift it up and cradle it in your arms, its belly pointed up and face looking at you with a pet-like adoration.
“Listen buddy, I said you can’t have milk any more, you’re too old for that.”
Its face begins to scrunch up, getting ready to start its wailing again.
“Ah ah! Good babbehs listen and don’t cry…”
The babbeh tries stifling its own crying by stuffing its hoof in its maw and suckling.
“How about this… If you are good and stay quiet for the rest of the day. I’ll give you a surprise tonight… Ok?..”
It releases its hoof from its mouth and responds.
*sniff… Am be- sniff… Be guud babbeh fo Mummah-Daddeh… *
“There we go bud, that’s a good little potato!”
You walk over to the pile of towels in a bigger Amazon box that makes up the creature’s new bed. Setting the Fluffy babbeh back down into the box it curls itself and looks up at you with a smile.
“Now you be a good babbeh and don’t forget to make good poopies in your litter box, if you’re good i’ll give you that surprise later!”
*sniff… Otay Mummah-Daddeh!.. *
“That’s a good Fluffy…” You turn back to your computer and continue your game.
*sniff… Wub Mummah-Daddeh… sniff… *
The whole day had gone by with only the occasional peep from the Fluffy babbeh. It had done its good poopies in the makeshift litter box you made with an old metal tray and newspapers in the open closet far away from you.
You occasionally look back at it for a lazy checkup to make sure it was doing alright, with each time it looks away pretending to sleep acting like it wasn’t just staring at you.
You start to get hungry and remember your deal to the Fluffy babbeh, so you get up to go prepare some food in the kitchen.
“Stay here bud, I’m gonna get dinner ready.”
*Peep! Otay… *
It looks down sadly in anticipation of more mushy dog kibble.
You head over to the kitchen and warm yourself up some takeout you had ordered yesterday, and while that’s in the microwave you start to prepare your surprise for the babbeh.
You take out a box of spaghetti noodles and pull out less than half a fistfull of it, you weren’t really in the mood for pasta so you won’t be cooking up a whole box.
You snap the pieces in half and place them in a small pot of boiling water you had been preparing. As the noodles were cooking you reached over to the pantry to grab some spaghetti sauce before stopping half way.
“…Nah I ain’t gonna bother.”
You instead go over to the pantry where you keep all the leftover ketchup packs you get from ordering fast food and deciding that was good enough. You grab a few of them randomly, all of different brands and package designs. Once the pasta has finished cooking you place them in a small doggy bowl and squirt a few packs of ketchup on top of the small pile of noodles.
You carry the bountiful feast back upstairs to your room and open the door. The babbeh gets up from its bed and stretches its neck up in curiosity
“Let’s see if this also tracks.” You place the bowl in the babbehs designated eating spot, it waddles up to it and looks over into the bowl.
Its eyes dilate and you could swear they begin to sparkle.
“Here’s your surprise buddy! I made you-”
*S…ss…ssk… SKETTIES!!! Peep! Peep! *
It dives head first into the pasta and makes a mess all around the bowl, good thing you placed some paper towels around the spot. The sounds of the Fluffy babbehs slobbering, open mouthed chewing and lip smacking fill the room but you don’t mind it that much.
You give a small chuckle, sitting down at your table you get to eating your own food and read up on some Fluffy stories on the Fluffy community page.
Only a minute passes when you stop hearing the Fluffy babbehs bad table manners, you turn around to see the bowl still half full and the babbeh sitting up looking straight towards the wall staring at nothing.
Then it hits.
*SCREEEEEE!!! BURNIE HURTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!! *
“What the fuck!?!”
On the kitchen in a pile of discarded ketchup packs lays an open packet of Taco Bell Fire hot sauce.