Holy Shit They're REAL! Ch.1 (Readisketti)

This is my first written story. Hope you enjoy.

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Your name is Danny, you’re a NEET still living with your parents who are currently out of the country on vacation for 4 months. Your days are filled with watering mothers plants and collecting the mail, besides that you spend your days either in the living room watching TV or on a dusty laptop in your bedroom. You’re not proud of your life but you are thankful for your parents letting you stay at home, times are tough and they know you try.

You spend most of your time on the computer since you have Adblocker, and TV commercials bring you to a frothing rage. You don’t subscribe to any paid platforms so your time is spent watching Youtube and various forums on the Internet.

The most recent thing to captivate your interest are these things called Fluffies.

Tiny horse like aberrations that babble in baby talk, created in the laboratories of Hasbro that had become a multibillion company leading to their foray into bioengineering.
These little creatures are deemed toys despite their clear sentience, subject to various treatments and tortures which only the most unhinged minds could conjure.

You very much like watching videos and stories about these things, whether they’re about funny antics or bleak misery (mostly misery). These things give you a catharsis.
You’d probably feel bad about how much you like to watch and read these stories, but you just shrug and continue on.

Besides, they’re not real anyway.

You’re very new to the subject, some strange offshoot of My Little Pony created by fans or ironic fans. Stuffed with head cannons and self appointed lore centered around a world where these things were actually created due to the popularity of the children’s show. The absolute absurdity is what did it for you.

You remember how you first got hooked on this weird form of entertainment. Casually scrolling through Youtube when a strange video had been recommended to you. The thumbnail being that of a drawn pony but far more dumb looking than that of the classic MLP you were aware of. Out of curiosity you had clicked and watched the video.

It was a voiceover of a comic with someone doing an incredibly horrid high pitched voice, and with the unexpected twist, ended with the high pitched screaming and death of these fluffy things. You were bemused and began looking further into what in the world this was, soon spiraling down this whirlpool of dumb technicolored shitrat ponies.

You got on your laptop and checked various things before going to your favorite site for fluffy stories, Fluffy dash community dot com. It was full of stories that catered to all sorts of fellow enthusiasts and weirdos. Depending on your mood you would browse the tags and frequent your favorite creators. From hugboxes to abuse stories, funny comics and decent art. Silly animations and even art from that one person who draws fluffies with giant boobies. There was everything there no matter what mood you were in.

You spent a good part of the afternoon perusing the newest topics and unread posts when you decided it was a good time to do something other than stare at a screen.
There was a sound coming from downstairs, it was the Ring doorbell sounding out through the hallway. You went down the stairs in no rush, you had ordered from amazon recently and it must be your package, generous of the driver to ring for you.

When you opened your door you looked around for the Amazon truck, you liked to wave and shout out thanks to them, but you saw no one. No delivery man or navy blue truck rolling down the street, not even a car sat in the driveway. You were taking out your phone to check to see if your package had been delivered when you saw at the stoop of the front door a small box.

It was about 5 inches tall and wide and made of red cardboard topped with a white ribbon like some generic christmas present. Much different than the standard brown Amazon box.
You stood on the front stoop looking at your phone to find that your package was not due to arrive in another couple of days. You checked the Ring app on your phone to see who the deliverer was but it had no recorded rings today.

“Sus.” You said to yourself outloud, before picking up the package and bringing it inside.

You began taking off the ribbon as you made your way to the kitchen island, you had got through the knot as you laid the red box on the table. As you pull open the top lid you begin to slow at the thought that this box might be full of anthrax or something, but continued anyway.

You pop open the top to see a small white pillow inside, much like a ring box, that concave sharply down into a small blue button in the middle of the box.
“Wait, that’s it?” An empty box was just dropped off at your door? You picked up the box and turned it over to see if there was some tag at the bottom or any kind of brand you could look up.

As you began to tilt the box, the blue button no bigger than a quarter began to slide off the white pillow. You instinctively reached under to grab the thing when it plopped on your hand. A drop no longer than 10 inches but resulting in a sudden loud beep. Surprised, your instincts now told you to turn your hand and drop the button on the granite kitchen island. This elicited a loud twittering from the button.

It sounded like one of those alarm tags they put on clothes at department stores. A constant tremulous beeping that cut the quiet of your empty house. “What the fuck?” Was all you could think to say, which somehow made the alarm tag thing start beeping louder. You went up to it, reaching out to pick it up, you had planned to throw it in the sink to try and short circuit the alarm. You stopped halfway through when you noticed something about the button.

It was moving.

Not like it was flashing light or vibrating, but it was changing shape and shifting all over. You stepped closer bringing your face down level to the tabletop. It wasn’t a blue button at all, it was some kind of squirming fleshy thing. It reminded you of some kind of Russian homunculus video you saw a long time ago. “What…the fuck…”

You rifle through the drawers in the kitchen, you find some disposable chopsticks from takeout you ordered from who knows when. Sliding the pair of chopsticks out of the paper sleeve, you break them apart and move over to the still beeping homunculus. You prod it in one part of the thing. It sounds off louder than ever. As you stare at it you realize that you had prodded it in what resembled the head of a baby chick, a round ball with two bulges that carried unopened eyes.

“Is this a fucking blue chicken???” Whether you’re asking yourself or the thing is not something you completely know. The thing mid flailing bumps its head into the chopstick you have hovering over it still, stopping for a brief second and reaches its presumed head out to the chopstick. You see now clearly the blue chicken baby things beakless mouth as it opens and tries to engulf the tip of the chopstick. It latches on for a second before breaking off and continues peeping ever more gratingly.

A thought suddenly dawns on you.

“Waaaait…Naawww…”

You step in closer again to the strange creature laying on the cold table surface. You look for signs to confirm your suspicions. Four appendages that end in stubby digits. A nub on the end opposite to its gross bald head. Two microscopic spheres…

You look around yourself to see the empty house you grew up in, looking in no place in
in particular you inquire to whoever might be listening.

“This is some joke right, am I on candid camera or something.”

Nothing but the wailing of the thing on the table.


“IS THIS A MY LITTLE DASHIE SCENARIO!!”

The wailing is starting to get repetitive, you frantically pull out your phone and open up Youtube.
You begin typing in the search bar, “Fluffy…Mummah…Wuvs…Babbehs…Song…” and click the first video that pops up, thankfully it’s what you were looking for.

The video begins playing some guy’s rendition of the famous Mummah song that was made for Fluffy stories. Their altered voice and excellent baby talk create a facsimile of a mother Fluffy that any fluffy weirdo on the internet would know.
The …peeping… from the creature started to slow down and soon only occasionally emitted as it heard the video, it even started to crawl meekly towards where you held the phone.

You dropped your phone on the table and stood back in utter confusion as the thing nestled itself by the speaker, warmed by the phone’s heat it began eliciting a trilling sound… a cooing.

You sat down on a nearby chair in the kitchen thinking you must have smoked too much and are on some kind of weird trip after reading fluffy stories. Then it occurred to you that you don’t do any drugs. You sat staring at the kitchen floor thinking about the prospect that you might be dreaming when suddenly the air was cut by the ‘peeping’ from the, well lets just say it, babbeh.

You realize the video must have ended awhile ago and you go move over to press replay. The video begins again but this only results in the babbeh peeping even more. You open your hands out in front of you in an expression of desperate pleading when you see the babbeh try to latch onto the phone, sucking the side of the phone’s case before releasing with a trail of drool to cry even more.

Thinking quickly you run to the fridge to grab a gallon of milk, you open a cupboard to grab the first mug you can reach and pour the milk into it. You bring it over to the crying babbeh only to realize your quick thinking was only half thought out.

With the babbeh still crying it head off you think what you could possibly do to feed this fucking noise machine. You snap your fingers and run to grab a coffee straw, dipping it in the milk and drawing it out with your finger over the top of the straw.

Bringing the straw close to the babbehs head you hover it just over its snout. The babbehs head stretches and sniffs. “Bingo.” It babbeh reaches to the straw with lips pursed, latching onto the straw. You’re so smart you think to yourself.

Suddenly the head recoils back and starts shaking and wailing louder.
“Aw…fuck! You needy little bitch!” You shout as you run over to the microwave and pop the mug in for 10 seconds, the sound of the babbehs screams competing over the ring of the finished microwave.

You pull out the milk and offer the straw again, after a little coaxing by shoving the straw right up to the things mouth, the babbeh sniffs once more and begins to suck heartily on the straw.
“There you go you little fucker, you’re just like some a mutant hamster.”

After a few more straws of milk the babbeh elicits a tiny cartoonish burp and starts curling up into a button shaped ball. The thing must have fallen asleep after… Miwkies…
You stare again at the thing and question your reality. Then after a good few minutes you pick up the red box the fluffy babbeh had come in and gently slide the creature back onto the pillow.

You return upstairs to your room and lay the box down on your desk, you step back away from it towards your own bed. It had only been an hour or so but you were already tired from all the stress and confusion these past minutes had given.

Still not taking your eye off the box you lay down on your bed, making sure the box stayed still till you got under your sheets. As soon as you were under the sheets you slowly shifted onto your back and closed your eyes, trying to work out all that has happened out in your mind. You lay there until you start to relax and begin drifting off.

PBBTTT

A smell wafted over to you.

“…Nooo……”


To Be Continued

Next Chapter

16 Likes

Lol, me

I would have thought the same

Havent been on the site in a LONG time, so glad to come back and see something this gloriously written. (even if I am 17 days late)

Wait WHO draws them with big tits???