Sam Adams Guide Chapter 1 - Yehdoo, Waggytail, Carpdime and Foxhoarder (Author:Oculus)

Mr. Adams’ Guide to Practical Fluffs - Part 1

by Oculus

featuring art by Yehdoo, Waggytail, Carpdime and Foxhoarder

(continued from the Prologue)

“Fwuffy wuv mistah! Fwuffy give bestest huggies!”

You love fluffies!

You’re currently at a fluffy café for breakfast, and you’re busy hugging a cute Carpdime fluff. As you hug the fluffy, you remember the time you owned a fluffy when you were a young lad. A nice female Buwwito, who loved to hug her stuffy friend. Sadly, she died of old age, but you had a lot of fond memories, playing with her, giving her upsies, feeding her favourite food (and sketti), and chatting with her from time to time.

But you know a guy who loves fluffies a lot more than you. And today, you decided to pay him a visit.

Residing at 35 Nerry Road is Samuel Adams. Mr. Adams, or Sam as you call him, was a friend of your fathers. Though he’s fifty years old, he retains a combination of youthful appearance and enthusiasm that would make the common man assume that he was 30, or even 20. It is as if Mr. Adams had discovered the eternal fountain of youth. About to enter an advanced stage of his life, Mr. Adams had already accomplished almost everything he wanted. A multibillionaire, he made his fortune as a real estate mogul, and owns properties across the world, especially in hotels. Now entering his advanced years, Mr. Adams has settled down and, as expected, has set up various philanthropic pursuits. However, one of the most unique and unusual pursuits of Mr. Adams is in in veterinary causes. Particularly, in fluffies.

Mr. Adams loves fluffies. Like, really love them. Not in a sexual way, of course. No, Mr. Adams, while a fairly modern Hugh Hefner type, has devoted a lot of money towards the rehabilitation and care of fluffykind. Mr. Adams was the founder of the Advocacy for Biotoy Adoption as Pets (ABAP), which has maintained a legal push for the recognition of fluffies as more than just biotoys and as animals, to better facilitate proper care and grooming for what Mr. Adams describes to be the designer pet of tomorrow.

And, of course, he owns eight fluffies. Perhaps even more.

So, you went to visit Mr. Adams. You ring his doorbell, and there is no response.

The door then opens, and you are greeted by Sam in his bathrobe. He seems to be naked underneath, and you see his washboard abs and clean, shaven face, along with his immaculate hair.

“Hey dude. Sorry I took so long, got busy with the missus,” he chuckles.

You feel a bit envious. The guy definitely sees a lot more action then you do.

“Give me a moment to get changed.”

~

You had phoned Sam a few days ago wanting to learn a bit more about fluffies. You’ve been thinking of getting a new one, after remembering the cute Buwwito you once owned.

Sam, now dressed in a coat over some pajamas, and with slippers, is about to start his presentation. “There’s a lot of fluffies out there in the world! Since the start of the decade, when they were first introduced, all kinds of breeds have come into existence, as a result of both genetic engineering, and manual breeding.”

“That’s good and all,” you say, “but what fluffy would you recommend the most?”

Sam shrugs. “It’s hard to tell. I can introduce you to seven fluffies today if it helps you out. But there’s a lot more fluffies in the world, and I’m actually doing research on the topic. I plan to write a book about the different fluffy breeds, particularly the popular ones and the ones best groomed for being pets.”

“How long will your book take?”

“Oh I dunno,” says Sam, “it’ll take me a while. I can show you the seven fluffies at this residence, but I actually have a few more in some other residences. And I’m looking to acquire more fluffies.

But let me introduce you to the seven I have today at this residence, first”

And with that Sam takes out a bell hidden in the right pocket of his coat. He rings his bell, as he calls out his first fluffy.

~Yehdoo~

Lucia, a typical Yehdoo (Artist: Yehdoo)

“Velvet, please come in!”

“Otay daddeh!”

The first fluffy walks into the living room, per Sam’s beckoning with the bell. The fluffy, is like none you have seen before. Whereas most fluffies you know tend to waddle slowly and rather haphazardly, this fluffy strides in a graceful manner, with a level of dignity and pride. With an almost catlike grace.

“Huwwo mistah,” says the crimson coloured fluffy in a very dignified manner. She is rather tall for a fluffy, with unusually long legs, and most strikingly, a lot of fluffs concentrated around her cheeks. Despite this unusual appearance, the hooves at the end of her legs are proof that she is, indeed, a fluffy pony.

“This, is a Yehdoo.”

“Fwuffy name am Vewvet, daddeh.”

“Yes, you are. But you are a Yehdoo Fwuffy, Vewvet.”

“Fwuffy nu ahndastahn, daddeh.”

“Its okay Velvet,” Mr Adams smiles, patient as always. Velvet then climbs up beside Sam, and rests her head on his side, as Mr Adams strokes her affectionately.

You look on in amazement as you say “I have never seen a fluffy like this before.”

“Indeed,” says Mr Adams, as he begins his first impromptu presentation. “Yehdoos are popular as service animals. In the past, miniature horses were often used as alternatives to guide dogs, particularly in Muslim countries where dogs are seen as haram or unclean. However, unlike dogs, miniature horses were difficult to keep, since you practically need to keep them outdoors often, their feeding was difficult, and they were very unpredictable in the presence of a threat.

Yehdoos as a fluffy, however, are like a more refined version of that guide horse. As with other fluffies, they have been designed for the home. They also come with a kind of watchdog instinct, which normal horses do not have. And of course, Yehdoos love to walk. They’re like dogs in that respect.”

“When were they first introduced? Who even made – or bred- these things?”

Samuel Adams ponders for a moment. He’s a bit hesitant to share the details. “There is a research facility. Some say its independent, some say its owned by a Hasbio executive. Whatever it is, it was from this facility that the first Yehdoos were introduced, as seeing eye fluffs for the blind. Over time, Yehdoos have been bred by other breeders, but I’ve always wondered what went on in that facility. I had met a Yehdoo of that generation, and it seemed to be deathly afraid of hammers.”

“Why would you even have a hammer?”

“I was doing a little construction work when my neighbour at the time, a blind man, brought his Yehdoo in. The poor thing shrieked when she saw the hammer.”

“Sounds like that fluffy had seen some abuse.”

“Perhaps, but the facility is long gone now. That said, Velvet here was from a breeding mill I know, and has been very well trained.”

“Daddeh, can fwuffy go watch TV?”

“Of course, Velvet.”

As Velvet departs from Sam’s side, Sam gets ready to introduce his next fluffy.

~Waggytail~

How I imagine Maurice would look (Artist: Waggytail)

Mr Adams then rings his bell to call out his next fluffy.

“Come on out Maurice!”

He then realizes, “Oh right, Maurice isn’t like Velvet.”

He then picks up a colourful ball, and then yells out “Maurice, ball time!”

“BAWW!”

Maurice comes out. An orange fluffy, riding in what is a Fisher Price toy car meant for older toddlers. With his hind legs, he pushes the car forward frantically. He slowly steps out the car, and then jumps up onto his owner.

“Baww! Maurice wanna pway baww!”

The fluffy then sees you, and is excited.

“Oh, hewwo Mistah! Mistah a fwen of daddeh?”

“Yes,” says Mr. Adams, “this kind mistah here is a friend of your daddehs.”

“Oh boy! Oh boy! Moar fwens for Mauwice to pway with!”

He jumps up and starts licking you. He literally feels like a pet dog.

“Mistah give huggies?”

You couldn’t resist. You get down on your right knee, and give Maurice a nice big ol’ hug. And then you realized. Maurice, like Velvet, also has fairly long legs for a fluffy. And, unlike other fluffies you have seen before, he seems pretty agile, fitting his enthusiastic nature. However, unlike Velvet, Maurice’s cheeks aren’t full of fluff, as he has an even amount of fluff all over.

A Waggytail fluffy at the park (Artist: Waggytail)

“Maurice here, is a Waggytail. They’re a New Zealand breed, and also pretty unique. I’ve been trying to categorize the different fluffy breeds, and I think Waggytails belong to a certain type, but I haven’t identified it yet.”

“Why the name Waggytails?”

‘Well, see how much Maurice wags his tail? They’re super chippy, and always fun loving.”

Mr Adams drops his ball, and lets Maurice play with it. As Maurice keeps tossing the ball up and down, and jumping fairly high, Mr Adams continues to describe the waggytails.

Racing Fluffies (Artist:Waggytail)

“Waggytails, like Yehdoos, are popular as service animals, but they have seen more activity as racing fluffies. They are like greyhounds in that respect. Fluffy races have grown in popularity in the past few years, and Waggytails have been the main choice for them. The other competing breed is the Yehdoo, and there’s enough discussion online as to which is faster.”

“Which do you think is faster?”

“Well, it depends. But my money’s on a Waggytail.”

Maurice stops playing with a ball for a moment, as he looks up to his owner.

“Daddeh?”

“Yes, Maurice”

“Wexxie wan pway wole pwaying game downstaiw. Daddeh wanna join?”

“Not today Maurice. You can tell Rexxie to start first.”

“Otay daddeh!”

As Maurice scampers on, Mr. Adams says a few more lines about Waggytails.

“Waggytails are popular amongst breeders, but it is generally recommended not to expose Waggytails to too much inbreeding. There have been reports of cannibalism and suicide occurring amongst waggytail mothers as a result of inbreeding.”

“Suicide? Cannibalism?”

“Yeah. Waggytails can develop smartie or toughie traits, but it’s a very rare. Its more common for them to develop psychosis as a result of trauma, or bad upbringing.”

Sam stops for a moment. He then goes a bit serious, as he recollects one Waggytail he knew.

“I met her, 6 years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this… fluffy mummah with this wickedly cheerful face, and… the bewitching eyes - the Devil’s eyes. I spent a year trying to reach her, and then another year trying to keep her locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that fluffy’s eyes was purely and simply… crazy. I called her, ‘Crazy Mummah’.”

Feeling a little intimidated by Sam’s recollection, you hesitantly ask, “Is any of that true?”

Mr. Adams suddenly breaks out of the seriousness, and says “Of course not! But I am serious – take good care of Waggytails.”

Mr Adams then beckons you to follow him upstairs, to a room on the second floor of the mansion.

~

~Carpdime~

A Domestic Carpdime making art (Artist: Carpdime)

Its one of the main rooms in the mansion that has been converted as a safe room for one of his fluffies.

You see the large, rotund shape of a white-coloured fluffy. He is busy at play, making hoof prints on a canvas. Next to him are some plates filled with the remnants of various foods, some with scraps of kibble, and one plate smeared with tomato sauce, and a remnant of a noodle. It was clearly a plate of spaghetti at one point.

“Hello there, Prince.”

“Huwwo daddeh! Fwuffy make awt!”

The white fwuffy gets off the convas, and shows the art piece that he was trying to make. It is very vague, but you see the bare outline of what clearly looks like a foal.

“Its looking very nice, Prince!”

“Fank yu, daddeh!”

The prince turns to you, and says “Oh hewwo there, Mistah! Fwuffy name am Prince!”

You acknowledge Prince, as you turn to Sam and say “I recognize this one. This is a Carpdime. But I’ve never seen them this white before.”

“You are right! Prince here is a rare Carpdime. I don’t think I’ve seen many Carpdimes that have been white in colour.

Carpdimes are what I consider to be a Type 1 Munchkin fluffy. That’s the kind of fluffies the Buwwito, Quickhorn and Marcusmaximus breeds are like. You can recognize them from their overall fluff, short legs, and fairly boar-like body.”

Mr Adams then gets out his smartphone. After, some quick browsing, he then shows you a picture of a white looking foal, resembling Prince.

“This is Prince here as a foal. Notice the lack of fluff?”

As you nod, Mr Adams continues “Some fluffy foals tend to have a lot of fluff sprout when they’re young, but its slower in Carpdime foals. Its what makes them a very recognizable and popular breed, since people love to own them when they’re foals. Many breeders have attempted to create new breeds to replicate the fluffless look of these foals, such as the Fiercedeitylynx breed-“

“That’s an odd name for a breed.”

“I agree.

Anyway, Carpdime foals are very endearing, but they can also be stubborn. It is very easy for Carpdime fluffies to become smarties or toughies if you don’t discipline them well enough or train them. However, if you take good care of them, they are absolute bundles of joy.

Avocado (Artist: Carpdime)

I remembered there was one Carpdime fluffy that won an award show a few years back. His name was Avocado. And what was remarkable was that he was purchased by his owner from a Foal-in-a-can.”

You reel in disgust, as you remember those things. An industrialized process, the company that made them had amputated mares churn out foals like chickens with eggs, and have the foals packaged in little cans. The whole thing was decried by PETA, and in later years, by ABAP.

“Oh god. I hate those things.”

“Same, bro. I’m thankful they got shut down. But Avocado was pretty unique, despite coming from such an origin. He competed against other showfoals of a better pedigree, and actually won the competition in first place. He’s a bit of a legend among fluffies.”

Mr Adams then gets into the pen, and gently embraces Prince. He then scratches the front of Prince’s neck, which the fluffy likes, then tickles his belly.

“Teehee daddeh, dat tickwes.”

Mr Adams then massages Prince’s round belly, and then gives him a pat on the back before continuing. “Carpdimes LOVE to eat. Like, they eat a whole load of food, as you can see from these plates here. They’re a little bit like piggies. Because they can eat so much, they tend to do a lot of business.”

“Business?” As you are wondering what Mr Adams means, the realization then dawns on you.

“Oh.”

“Yup. Its why, with Carpdimes, you got carefully monitor their diet. And make sure they get a lot of exercise. They tend to waddle though, so they’re a bit harder to exercise than Yehdoos or Waggytails, since they can’t run fast. I’ve been thinking of developing a sort of gym that for these type of fluffies. Like, develop a safe treadmill for them do their walking on.”

The two of you leave Prince to his devices, as he keeps making art. For a brief moment, as Sam clsoes the door, you can faintly hear Prince saying “Uh oh! Fwuffy gotta make big poopies!”

~

The corridor of the second floor of the mansion is long and filled with many rooms. You ponder to yourself as to whether Mr Adams had devoted this entire mansion to his fluffies, and, if he did, you wonder how many he owns exactly. However, before you can pop that question to him, Sam, who had been busy browsing with his smartphone, finally finds an image that he wanted to share with you.

“What I mentioned was that Carpdimes are a Type 1. Currently, I have identified two types of fluffies. There are bound to be a lot more types, but currently, the most common Fluffy breed types are the munchkin breeds, and the daschund breeds, which I call type 2s.”

As he says this, he shows you a picture of a fluffy you have seen before. It is a fluffy, but unlike the Yehdoo, Waggytail and Carpdime you had come across, its body is longer than the others, in proportion to is head. Also, its legs are noticeably lacking in fluff. You had seen these type of fluffies before, but had struggled to find a name to them.

“So these are the Type 2?”

“Yes, and they are not as common as they once used to be, but are well-known among fluffy breeders. We’re going to meet two particular breeds of the Type 2 today. I keep them in separate rooms for…. Reasons.”

~

~Foxhoarder~

A Foxhoarder Therapy Fluffy (Artist:Foxhoarder)

The two of you reach a room with the name “Mauve” printed on it. Mr. Adam knocks on the door.

“Hello, Mauve, we’re coming in!”

“Otay daddeh!”

As Mr Adams steps into the room, you see a little playpen, along with a box with bedding material in it. Popping out of the box is a ferret-like fluffy, who pops up and says very exuberantly “Hewwo daddeh! Mauve jus woke up! Who daddeh fwend?”

You say hello to Mauve and mention your name, as Mauve runs towards his owner. Like a little ferret, she climbs up the arms of Mr Adams and rests on his shoulder. There, she gives a big hug to Mr Adams, saying very sweetly and genuinely, “Wuv you daddeh!”

“Mauve here,” continues Sam, “is a Foxhoarder.”

“Foxhoarder? That’s an odd name. What do they do, hoard foxes?”

“I dunno man. That’s just the official name of the breed at Hasbio.”

You raise an eyebrow. “I though the breeding of fluffies has become mostly independent.”

“It has,” continues Sam, “but Hasbio still maintains a few breeding programmes, and Foxhoarders are one of their more official lines. Its why a lot of Foxhoarder fluffs have been found to carry the traits associated with MLP characters. We’re not sure if its programmed, or if Hasbio intended it that way. Either way, it has been profitable, both for Habsio, and indepdent breeders who have been trying to make fan interpretations of MLP characters.”

You can tell Mauve is getting a little tired of hearing her owner talk. She then beckons to Sam, and asks “Can Mauve pway baww daddeh? Mauve bowed.”

“Of course, sweetie.”

He places Mauve down, as he continues to present, “Foxhoarders are one of the most endearing of fluffy breeds. They are very loving and affectionate and, as far as we know, do not developed smartie or toughie traits. They tend to love everyone equally.”

“Sounds like they can be taken advantage of.”

Sam sadly sighs, as he agrees. “Yes. I think the same be said of a lot of fluffies, but that’s why I feel a lot of attachment to Foxhoarders. They’re very genuine in their love. Foxhoarders are known to have developed an altruism we do not often see amongst other fluffies.”

Using his smartphone, Sam drags up a newspaper report, and shows you a news article about an earthquake that happened in San Theodoros.

“When an earthquake hit the Republic of San Theodoros, one of the more remarkable tales was of the noble Foxhoarder who helped rescue workers find not only his owner that was trapped under rubble, but also his other neighbours within the same residence. “

Mr Adams then flips around the digital stuff on his smartphone, and shows you another image. This time, its of a feral Foxhoarder, making markings in alleyway with a crayon.

Fluff Code (Artist:Foxhoarder)

“Despite their good nature, Foxhoarders are intelligent. One of the earliest known instances of Fluff code, which is the fluffy version of hobo code, was developed by Foxhoarders. Other feral breeds started learning, but we have reason to believe it was the Foxhoarders who developed the code first.”

“Daddeh, Fwuffy make awt!”

As you look up, you see that Mauve has made a drawing on the wall with a crayon. Although its very vague, it clearly looks like two stick figures, having sex in the doggy style fashion.

“Daddeh and speshual fwen!”

Sam blushes, as he chuckles, “Loveable little rapscallions.”

“Siwwy daddeh. Bu’ siwwy daddeh is bestest daddeh. Wuv siwwy daddeh!”

Mauve runs up to Sam, ready to give him another big ol’ hug. Sam just can’t help but feel obliged to do so.

END OF PART 1

Pastebin entry: SAM1 - Mr. Adams' Guide to Practical Fluffs - Part 1 - Pastebin.com

Reddit entry: https://www.reddit.com/r/fluffycommunity/comments/j40v4r/sam_adams_guide_chapter_1_yehdoo_waggytail/

(continued in Part 2)

17 Likes

The first chapter of the Sam Adams Guide, now on Fluffycommunity.com. The idea came to me when I noticed how vastly different artists portray fluffies from each other, to the extent that there has been no overall agreed size. I also decided to do this series as a sort of tribute to the hugboxers (and some neutralboxers) who have contributed to nearly a decade of the fluffy pony fandom. I don’t plan to cover all the artists, but there are a lot whose work that I definitely would like to pay tribute to.

Some note on what has been referenced in this part:

(a) Yehdoo’s Sound Steps

(b) Waggytail’s short on Racing Fluffies, as well as his Crazy Mummah series

(c) Carpdime’s tale of Little Avocado, as well as the Foal-in-a-can

(d) Foxhoarder’s images on Fluff Code (as well as the Nuusphere, which will be in the next part)

I’ll be uploading the chapters, as well as the gaidens on a daily basis. Chapter 2 should be up soon-ish.

4 Likes

Part 2 is up now

2 Likes