Tønsberg, Norway.
The middle of the night.
Despite what Hollywood may have lead you to believe about Tønsberg, it’s not a sleepy little fishing village, but rather, a city with a population of over 40,000.
A lone colt wanders the streets. A dark red and dark yellow earthie, having been weaned for a while, no longer chirping, his brown eyes watery.
“Huu… cowt miss hewd… huu…”
As an unnamed fluffy foal grows, the pronouns they use for themselves change, from “babbeh”, to “cowt” or “fiwwy”, and finally, as they reach physical maturity, to, of course, “fwuffy”. And then, the pronouns can change further, if the fluffy becomes leader of their herd (or develops Smarty Syndrome), or becomes pregnant.
A surprising amount of information can be gleaned from which pronouns a given fluffy is using. You probably know that a named fluffy’s apology is most likely insincere if they refer to themselves as “fwuffy” instead of their name. A foal continuing to call himself “babbeh” long after he should be calling himself “cowt” can be a sign of a developmental disorder. And, of course, an otherwise well-behaved fluffy suddenly calling himself “smawty” is a sign that he’s developed Smarty Syndrome, and heralds impending doom.
Well, impending doom for the fluffy, in most cases.
And only a rare handful of fluffies can manage pronouns like “I” or “me”. One of those fluffies is super dead now, and when a certain other fluffy says “I”, he’ll most likely follow up with “bloody well hope you’ve got a sausage on you, guv.”
This colt is the sole survivor of his herd, wiped out by an abuser.
The colt valiantly tried to defend his herd, and the abuse was so amused by this that he spared the colt alone, to live with his failure.
That, and the abuser was certain that a colt wouldn’t last five minutes alone.
As the colt turns into an alleyway, hoping to find food, he sees a door.
It’s ajar, just barely open enough for a fluffy to squeeze through, and light shines through the crack.
As the colt approaches the door, he feels a pleasant warmth radiating from the crack.
“Cowt hope dewe am nummies in dewe…”
So the colt goes through the door, not having anywhere else to be.
On the other side, the colt looks around.
He finds himself at the base of a truly massive tree.
He can’t even see the top.
And sitting on one of the humongous roots, there is…
A old man. Red hair and beard, both going grey, and a traveling cloak.
He looks at the colt with an expression of befuddlement on his wizened face.
“ᚹᛖᛚᛚ, ᛏᚺᛁᛋ ᚹᚨᛋᚾ’ᛏ ᚹᚺᚨᛏ ᛁ ᚹᚨᛋ ᛖᛪᛈᛖᚲᛏᛁᚾᚷ…”
“Wut?”
The old man deftly leaps down, walking over to the colt.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to understand. Um, welcome, innocent one. I was sending a call out to one who is courageous and pure of heart, and you seem to have answered my call. I suppose it wasn’t up to me to decide, you’ll have to do.”
“Wait. Whewe am cowt, an hu am yu?”
The old man gestures at the tree.
“You stand, innocent one, at the roots of Yggdrasil. The World Tree. This tree connects the Nine Realms, which once were the domain of the Aesir.”
“Hu am da Ay-siw?”
“You mortals of the modern world would call them the Norse gods. Midgard, the world you call Earth, was once home to many gods. But that was long ago. Before the Battle of Gods…”
“Cowt nu weawwy unnewstan.”
“Then let me get to the point, innocent one. Before they left, six of the Aesir bestowed gifts upon me. Not to use myself. But to safeguard, and eventually pass on, to one who has been deemed worthy. Now, that day has come. Do you accept these gifts, innocent one, and the burden that comes with them?”
“Wut am buw-dun?”
The old man sighs.
“It means, innocent one, that these gifts, ah, come with a price tag. You must use them responsibly. To help the helpless. So do you accept these gifts?”
“…Otay? Cowt ass-ept?”
“Then say my name, innocent one.”
“…Mistah nu did teww cowt wut mistah namesie am.”
The old man chuckles.
“Alright, that’s fair. My name, innocent one, is Thoshi. Say it, and the gifts will be yours.”
“…Thoshi?”
KRA-KA-KOOM
From far up in the sky, a lightning bolt strikes the colt.
When the smoke clears, Thoshi grins.
“Well, would you look at that.”
The colt, rather than being turned into a black mark on the ground, has been turned…
Into a stallion.
His fluff is a vibrant red, with an equally vibrant yellow mane and tail. His eyes glow a pure white-blue. A beautiful pair of wings has sprouted upon his back, bigger than any normal fluffy’s wings, and a horn, longer and sharper than any normal fluffy horn, now adorns his forehead, and crackles with white-blue electricity. His body is as muscular as a fluffy’s body can be.
Beaming, Thoshi circles the stallion.
“The gifts of the Aesir. The power of Thor… the senses of Heimdall… the wisdom of Odin… the courage of Skadi… the speed of Hermod… and the immortality of Idun. I must confess that I have been using that last one. Out of necessity. I’ve been waiting for a long time. How, er, are you feeling?”
The stallion looks himself over.
“Wut happund tu cowt?!? Cowt am stawwion nao!”
Thoshi stops walking, smiling warmly at the stallion, and nods.
“Yes, at the prime of your life! And you’ll stay that way as long as you stay in this form.”
“Su how du co-- fwuffy tuwn back?”
“Say my name again.”
The stallion clears his throat.
“Thoshi!”
KRA-KA-KOOM
“…Am cowt again!”
“All you have to do is say the name, and you’ll switch forms on command.”
“Su wut am cowt sup-post tu du wif dis?”
“You’ll find out. In time, you will see exactly why you have been given this power. Until then… stay on guard. Let the wisdom of Odin guide you.”
Thoshi examines his hand…
And sees that it’s crumbling to dust.
“Ah, that would happen now, wouldn’t it?”
“Mistah Thoshi?!?”
KRA-KA-KOOM
“Wut am happunin tu yu?!?”
“Don’t you see? I’ve kept myself alive with Idun’s gift, and now I’ve handed it over to you. All those years I’ve stolen are catching up with me.”
Thoshi closes his eyes, a serene smile on his face.
“But I’m okay with this. I’ve done what I needed to do. And I have faith in you, innocent one. Use those gifts well…”
“But how du fwuffy git owtta hewe?”
“The door will come… when you call… from here, you can go anywhere in the Nine Realms… don’t let anyone abuse Yggdrasil… I… have faith… in y… o… u…”
And with that, Thoshi’s body crumbles to dust.
“…Mebbeh mistah Thoshi–”
KRA-KA-KOOM
“–shudda towd cowt how tu yoos deez gifts.”
Later, back in Tønsberg, the fluffy gifted with the power of the Norse gods wanders the streets again, back in ordinary colt form.
He’s feeling a bit more confident now. He found some food in the alleyway, after exiting the door.
As he turns a corner, he sees a sleazy-looking man, leading a woman who seems out of it away from a nightclub.
“Jeg gjør ikke… Jeg føler meg litt svimmel…”
“Ikke bekymre deg, kjære. Du vil føle deg bedre når vi kommer tilbake til min plass.”
Fluffies can’t usually understand Norwegian, but this fluffy has the wisdom of Odin.
He can tell that something isn’t right here. That the woman isn’t in her right mind. That the sleazeball who is currently escorting her away from any witnesses is up to no good.
And he knows what he has to do. He knows how to do it, too.
The fluffy quickly ducks into an alleyway, out of sight.
“Thoshi!”
KRA-KA-KOOM
Something vibrant red and yellow flies out of the alleyway, towards the sleazeball.
“Hva faen–”
POW
And the sleazeball catches a hoof to the chops, knocking him out.
The stallion leads the woman, still woozy, back to the nightclub, addressing the bouncer.
“Um, hewwo, mistah? Dis wady am sickies, fwuffy fink. Wady nee a dok-tow.”
Fortunately, this club is a tourist hotspot, and the bouncer speaks fluent English.
As the bouncer tends to the woman, the sleazeball, having regained consciousness, staggers back towards the club, looking livid.
“Jeg skal lære deg å knulle med meg, dritt rotte–”
ZZZZZAP
Only to be electrocuted back into unconsciousness by a lightning bolt, coming from the stallion’s horn.
“Stay down dis time, dummeh.”
When the stallion is sure that the woman will be fine, he departs, and the police quickly arrive.
Fortunately, the woman had gone to the club with some of her friends, they had noticed her absence, and someone had seen her leaving with the sleazeball.
The cops ask the bouncer who exactly took the sleazeball down.
When he tells them, they actually believe him.
It’s not the strangest thing that’s happened.
A few days later, the colt wanders the streets once again.
He’s had a good few days, using his powers to help anybody in need. And, when asked if those he saved can repay him, he merely asked for food.
Nobody has yet figured out his secret identity.
As he waddles on, he passes a couple of tourists. He recognises them from the nightclub. They don’t recognise him.
“That super-fluffy’s been sighted a few more times. Did you see the news, brah? Last night, he foiled a bank robbery.”
“How do you think he got his powers? You think he’s X-Positive?”
The colt has no idea what that means.
“Maybe, brah. I bet Calvin Korkea’s gonna show up here asking about him any day now. But did you hear what people are calling him?”
“No, what?”
“They’re calling him Vidunder, brah.”