Part 2 to the Fluffies stuck on dumpster island. Enjoy folks.
~2 months later~
“Well Alyosha you were right. Last night the camera cought both mares giving birth. There was exactly 1 dead foal in each litter. We still need to do something about that poop corner though.”
Vincent tells you over the phone as he watches the the monitors. You were late to work this morning because your alarm didn’t go off now you’re stuck in traffic.
“Are there any brown foals in the litters?”
You ask.
“Um. Let me check… Yes it seems the brown mare had 2 brown foals. Shame. If they weren’t inbred we could make a small fortune off of those.”
You chuckle.
“Yes I know. But oh well. Given the Fluffies nature towards their brown offspring the mountain of excrement will be shrunk to a hill once they’re weened off milk.”
Vincent gags a bit.
“Eeeew! God I hate these things.”
“I’ll be there in a minute. Traffic is moving again.”
You hang up the phone. What your partner says is true. Though Hasbio developed the Fluffies to be every color imaginable the brown was the least popular. At first anyways. The parents killing them or forcing them to ingest excrement was an unexpected outcome. Nobody in behavioral study ever hardwired this into the fluffy because it would be stupid to make a parent not raise what was supposed to be an expensive designer pet. You find that whole concept funny considering now you can buy Fluffies for less than 20 dollars.
As an outcome to the parents Filicide is now the duller browns and grays are now the most valuable. Genes don’t pass on if brown Fluffies don’t grow to maturity and mate. Anyways you arrive and walk to the monitoring room.
“Well anything notable vince?”
You ask Vincent.
“Nah. The brown and pink ones ate their dead foals. The purple is still crying trying to hug it back to life.”
A common practice. Hasbio never intended for Fluffies to breed outside of a controlled environment so the parent instinctively eating the stillborn was a good way to recycle the waste. You figure once the purple one realizes hugs don’t revive the dead she’ll follow suit.
“Ya think any of them have SBS?”
Vince asks.
“Hmmm… Won’t be able to tell until they’re out of the chirpy phase. Once they’re all speaking we’ll know.”
Gwassies babbehs hab babbehs nao Gwassies is suu happeh!
Sum babbehs come out wif fowevew sweepies. Is sad buh dis happen to gwassies befoh. Gwassies tew babbehs to num fowevew sweepies babbehs. Dey say. BABBEHS NU NUMMIES!
Gwassies teww dem dey wite. Buh deez babbehs aweady gone. Bwown an pinky babbeh wisten to mummah but puwpoo babbeh nu wisten. Puwpoo babbeh gib fowevew sweepies babbeh Huggies. Buh Huggies nu hewp.
Bwu smawty babbeh stiww hab biggest heawt owies oba his see pwace goin bah bah. He tewws gween babbeh hatechu. Gwassies nu wan babbehs ta be meanies to eech uvva.
“Wook mummah! Gweeny hab 2 poopy babbehs! Bwu smawty nu hab poopie babbehs! Bwu smawty am bestest babbeh!”
Gween howneh babbeh wook at smawty babbeh and smawty babbeh be quiet. Is twue. Gweeny hab 2 poopy babbehs. When dey nu nee miwkies nu moa dey nee num poopies. Da poopie Howe is awmos fuww. Any moa an it go oba side of sketti wand waww. Onwy weason gwassies poopy babbeh nu num poopies is cuz poopy Howe was nu fuww.
Mummah nee fin moa baggies a sweet white Nummies. Dey make gud piwwows.
~2 weeks later~
Mummah extwa happeh! Babbeh’s babbehs nu chiwpy babbehs nu moa! Dey tawkie babbehs nao. Weww. Cep 4. I teww my babbehs dat dem is sensitive babbehs an nee moa wub to be big an Stwong wike tawkie babbehs. One ob da sensitib babbehs is a poopy babbeh. He nu hab teefies buh nu nee teefies ta num poopies. Gwassies bwown babbeh cwy.
“NU! NU TAKE BABBEHS TO POOPIE HOWE!!”
She twy to gib gwassies sowwy hoofsies buh gweeny gib bwown babbeh wowstest hoofsies. Gwassies take babbehs to poopy Howe an teww dem to num.
“Nu babbehs nee miwkies! Nu wan num poopies huuhuuhuu!”
“Dummeh poopie babbehs num poopies ow get fowevew sweepies!”
Gwassies nu weawy huwt babbehs. Jus nee scawe dem. Da sensitib babbeh nu undastan gwassies. Twy cum an take gwassies miwkies. Gwassies nu hab miwkies. Gwassies gib sowwy hoofsies to sensitib poopy babbeh. He wands in piwe ob dawk gween poopies. He cwies. Gwassies howd him in poopie howl untiw he nums. Gwassies heawt hab owies buh nee cwean poopy Howe.
Sensitib babbeh keep twying ta cum backsies.
“Cheep cheep cheep! Peep! Cheep cheep!”
He cwy foh miwkies. Gwassies bwown babbeh cwy too. She wan gib poopy babbeh miwkies. Gween babbeh take sensitib poopy babbeh back to poopy howe ebewy tim. Finawy he stoppies and beats hoofsies against da Nummies on da gwound.
Atweast nowmal poopy babbeh can num gwound Nummies wif poopies. Sensitib babbeh nu num Nummies. Nu knu how num Nummies. Onwy poopies.
“And this is why I hate Fluffies”
Vincent says.
“How do you do this to your own offspring? Especially one that essentially has some sort of fluffy brain damage. What about you Alyosha? Don’t you hate these rats?”
You chuckle.
“Quite the contrary my friend. I do not hate Fluffies. They fascinate me. Has it not dawned on you that we’re staring at the second most intelligent creature on the planet? Sure other animals are smart but have you ever met one that can hold a conversation? I actually own 2. One was a gift from Hasbio. One of the very first Fluffies from 6 years ago. The other a brown foal I rescued off from an alley 1 year ago.”
Vincent looks a little shocked.
“Wow doc. I guess I just figured you hated the shitrats. I mean designing an experiment like this.”
You write down the new herds response to the brown foals. Especially the response of the brown SBS foal.
“Eventually Vincent there will be more laws protecting Fluffies, and that’s a good thing. Despite the population issue I still hate seeing those abuse videos that are so popular online. That’s grade A Hasbio biomachinery that’s being tortured till it breaks. Before the laws come in we need to test as much as we can on the behavior of Fluffies. The test is going to become a bit more active soon. We only put the bags of ramen and spaghettios on the top layer of the dumpster. Soon it will just be other food. With more and more dry kibble the deeper they dig.”
~1 month passes ~
Da sensitib babbehs aw hungy. Dey big wike udda fwuffies buh nu num hawd Nummies. Stiww onwy wan miwkies. Gwassies babbehs nu hab moa miwkies in dew miwkie pwaces. Da sensitib babbehs twy an dwinkies buh nuffin cum outsies. Nu wan sensitib babbehs to go fowevew sweepies. Dey nee num Nummies. Poopy sensitib babbeh is awight. Poopy sensitib babbehs tummy fuww ob poopies. Da poopie piwe smaww nao. Gwassies teww sensitib poopy babbeh he nu nee num poopies nu mow buh he nu wisten. Eben if he did dew nu moa miwkies.
Gwassies hab heawt huwties. Sensitib babbehs hab Nummies ebewywew buh nu wan Nummie Nummies. Onwy wan miwkies. Soon dey take fowevew sweepiessob. Gwassies nu wan sensitib babbehs go fowevew sweepies! Sensitib babbehs nee Huggies and wub!
Gwassies nee feew bettah Nummies. Gwassies num dwy cwunchy skettis. Sketti is stawting ta wun outsies. Soon fwuffy an babbehs onwy nu hab sketti nu moa.
~2 week pass~
Buuhuuhuu! Was sensitib babbeh go fowevew sweepies. Onwy wun weft is poopy sensitib babbeh. He stiww won num anyfin buh poopies. Gwassies hab biggest heawt owies ebah. An eben wowse. WE WAN OUT OB SKETTIS! HUUHUUHUUUUUU!
“Well Vince they’re all crying. What did I miss?”
You say holding your freshly obtained cup of coffee.
“Well the only SBS foal still breathing is the one they have eating their excrement shudders but they didn’t all start crying until they realized that there’s no more instant ramen and bagged spaghettios.”
You laugh.
“Sometimes I wonder why we programmed them to love pasta so much. But oh well. They have more food than a feral fluffy can dream of yet they cry because one specific food is gone… Well… Sort of.”
You wonder what will happen when they realize the entire bottom of the dumpster is full of freeze dried spaghetti and meatballs.
Oh well. For now you sit back and watch them console each other over the loss of their beloved sketti… While next to the corpses of their deceased mentally impaired children.
“Ya know Alyosha it’s a little weird. Surrounded by food. All the normal Fluffies so fat that walking is a chore. Yet these ones die of starvation.”
Vincent says somberly.
“The irony is not lost on me Vince… The next generation I predict more dead foals per litter and double the number of SBS foals.”
“Eventually we’re gonna have to do something to keep them alive or else they’ll all die.”
Vincent says.
“Trust me Vince. I’ve planned for all of this. Everything is going exactly to plan.”
What you haven’t told Vincent yet is there is a second pipe going to the dumpster pumping synthetic fluffy milk directly to a foal feeding station outfitted with fake mare udders and all. It’s just under a few more layers of food. Ironically if the regular Fluffies would had stuffed their jiggling fat cheeks with more food they could have uncovered them and their sbs ridden siblings would still be alive.
You watch the cameras as the Fluffies push the dead sensitive foals over to the poop hole and try their best to cover them in fecal matter.
“Guess you could say the funeral was shitty.”
Vince snorted.
“You could also say they DEATHicated.”
You add. You can hear the security guard passing by groan at the bad jokes.
