“I’m always getting questions on how my garden is doing. Well to those of you who have that burning curiosity then today is your lucky day.” The camera swings around to reveal a lush garden, a cacophony of babbling and chirping filled the air.“Because today is Harvest Day!”
“To head off a question I hear forming in your brains I’ll answer it now, ‘Why do you grow produce-fluffies instead of the normal kind?’” Henry walks over to his apple tree and grabs a large apple from the nearest branch. “You can get huge, juicy fruit like this without tons of extra work.” The apple-fluffy in his hand giggled and cooed. “Wuv huggies. Huggies am gud for seed-babbehs.” He took a huge bite out of apple and it scree’d in pain. He quickly devoured the apple and tossed the remains into a compost bin. “Man that was a good apple. This is what makes working on this garden worth it, nothing beats fresh produce-fluffies.”
He walked over to a grape vine. “These are a new addition to my garden this year. I only have one at the moment since I wasn’t sure how finicky grapes would be to grow.” He plucked one off the vine and it started to cry. “See the juice coming out of the grape? That means it’s at peak ripeness, perfect for harvest.” He licked the tears off the grape and it shuddered and quietly huu’d in terror. “Mmm these would make a great juice.” Henry bent down to meet the grapes at eye-level, “I hope you all get along with Mr. Juicer later.” The rest of the grapes screamed in terror as Henry popped the grape he was holding into his mouth and ate it.
Wiping his hands on his shirt he stood up. “Now over here I have my blueberries. These chirpy-blueberries came in great this year, just look how many there are!” The blueberry bush was covered in plump blueberries that were chirping away happily. “And right next to them I have some strawberries. Look how red they are this year.” The strawberries were trying to play huggie tag but the fact they couldn’t reach each other didn’t seem to bother them much.
“And these over here are my smarty-raspberries.” He picked one and held it up for the camera.
“Put smawty down dummeh!” It blew a raspberry at Henry, splattering the camera lens with juice.
Henry wiped down the camera lens with a cloth, “Yeah these are ready for harvest, look at the this.” The rest of the raspberries on the bush were blowing their own raspberries at Henry. He backed up, “I’ll come back later and pick them when I don’t have sensitive equipment with me. I’ll gather up some of the fruit and meet you back in the kitchen.”
“Ok here we are and I’m almost ready to get cooking, but I have a few more things I need to take care of before I can eat.”
“Today I have a special guest, say hi girl.” Out of frame the clanking of a cow bell gets louder as a cow-fluffy steps into view. “Betsy is a cow-fluffy. Fluffies of these kind are far larger than a regular fluffy. I’d say Betsy here is about average for a cow-fluffy, most don’t grow larger than a Great Dane but since she’s a soon-mummah she’s a bit wider than normal.” At the mention of her impending motherhood Betsy let’s out a contented moo. Now one of the greatest differences in temperement compared to a normal fluffy, aside from being generally docile of course, is how they feel about sharing their milk. Normally a mummah would refuse to share he milk, especially if she’s close to giving birth. But cow-fluffies produce far more milk than their offspring needs" he said as he gestured to her udder that looked full to bursting.
“Betsy, can I have some of your milk?”
She lights up, “Yes, Betsy hab bestes’ miwkies for ebwyone!”
After a few moments of milking he pats her on the head. She let out another small moo, “Tank ‘ou for miwkin’ fwuffy, miwkie pwace was tuu fuww.”
Henry grabbed a tray from off screen with several bowls on it, “How would you like a special treat? I have some tasty fruit right here. Pick whatever you’d like.”
Betsy looked over the assortment of chirping fruits, “Betsy wan stwabewwy nummies!”
He took a handful from the bowl and held them out to Betsy. She quickly gobbled them up, the strawberry-fluffs’ shrill screams were drowned out by Betsy’s noisy eating. After finishing her fruit Betsy ambled out of frame with Henry following her. As Henry’s footsteps returned the video jostled as the camera was lifted into the air.
“Now, let’s go check up on my other fluffy.”
A glass fishtank was brought into focus, inside is a tiny orange fluffy with a bright green mane laying on a richly colored purple cushion. “Here we have my cute microfluff Clementine! She recently gave birth. If you look closely the tiny dots of color on her back are her babies”
Clementine yawned and looked up at Henry as she roused from her sleep, “Hewwo daddeh, am bwight time?”
“Yes it is Clementine, how would you like some breakfast for you and your babies?”
Clementine carefully stood up and walked over to the her food dish. “Nee’ make miwkies for chiwpeh babbehs!” Henry smiled as the almost imperceptible chirping of her babies filled the air.
“Today is a special day,” Henry said as he revelaed a bowl full of blueberries, “fresh berries from my garden.”
Clementine gasped, “Bewwy nummies make gud miwkies for babbehs! Wub bewwie nummies!”
Henry counted out five berries and put them into her dish. The berries began to chirp as they were seperated from their berry-friends and unceremonisouly dropped into her bowl. Clementine picked up one in her mouth and it began cheeping hysterically. She bit down and the juices of the berry splashed down onto the other ones which set them into a frenzy of peeping.
“Fank 'ou fow nummiesh daddeh!” she said with a mouthful of blueberry, some of the blue flesh falling back into the food dish.
“Clem what have I said about talking with your mouth full?”
Clementine giggled, “Sowwy daddeh.”
Henry reached into the tank and she nuzzled his finger and went back to eating her screaming breakfast.
“Now that I’ve gotten my fluffy fed I can enjoy my hard earned spoils. Today I’m going to make myself a fruit salad with some whipped topping using the milk Betsy kindly gave me.” Henry opened his fridge and retrieved several bowls. “There’s nothing more refreshing that chilled fruit after working hard.”
He reached below the counter and retreived a cutting board and a knife. “This isn’t exactly a complicated recipe, you just pick the fruit you like and dice it up.”
He placed two big red apples onto the cutting board, “Bad upsies am bad for tummeh-seeds! Am soon-mummah!”
“Because it would be boring just watching me cut up fruit I’ll show off a few ways to spice up the food prep.” He showed the camera an apple cutter. “This is a simple apple cutter, it cores the apple and gives you nice, even slices of apple.” He placed it over the whining apple and began to push down, it began to shriek. “Nu wike dese huggies! Am tu shawp!” Henry pushed down onto the apple but the cutter got stuck half-way, “This thing is suppoed to make cutting an apple convenient but it always get jammed in the apple.” He repositined the apple on the cutting board, it had screamed itself hoarse and was making only rasping sounds. With a shunk he cut through the apple, “There we go, now normally you would toss out the seeds but with an apple-fluff you can actually eat them as they’re packed full of vitamins. I wouldn’t recommend eating normal apple seeds though, unless you like cyanide.” Henry popped one into his mouth and the other apple-fluff started to panic.
“Munstah gunna num mummah and babbehs! Hab to wun 'way!” There was no way for it to move of course. Try as it might it hardly wiggled on the spot.
“For the next apple I’ll just use a kitchen knife. No need to waste time with the apple cutter when I have a sharp blade.” He picked up the apple and placed it onto the cutting board, “Nu huwt mummah, pweeze mun-SCREEEEE” Henry quickly sliced the apple-fluff into eight slices and tossed it into the large bowl to his side.
“Next I will be using the same batch of strawberries and blueberries I gave to my fluffies earlier.” He dumped the blueberries into the large bowl and quickly cut the green ends of the strawberries off.
“I’ve read you can eat these parts but I prefer my fruit salad to not have leafy bits.”
He lifted up the cutting board and used his knife to push the strawberries into the bowl.
“Huuhuu wai take bewwy’s pwetty gweenies?”
“Nu cwy chiwpeh bwuebewwies, stwabewwy gib huggies…huuhuu…”
“I’d add some of my own fluffy-bananas but I can’t seem to get them to grow. But my neighbor kindly traded me some for a jar of my pickled cucumbers from last season.”
He picked the banana up and peeled it, placing the peel in the trash. “It am tu cold! Pweeze giv wawm peew back!” The banana cried as it was sliced up and put into the bowl.
“Now to make the whipped topping from Betsy’s milk.” The video sped up as Henry got out an electric hand mixer and churned the milk into a smooth whipped cream.
“Huu woud noisies huwt heaw-pwaces.”
“Now you just put some whipped cream on top and you’re done!” He said as he spooned some of the whipped cream onto the fruit.
“Dawkies am tuu scawy! Huuhuu!” Henry picked up a spoon and scooped a heaping of fruit from the bowl and moved it towards his mouth. “SCREEE NU AM NUMMIES NEE’ WUN 'WAY!” The screams were muffled as he began to chew the fruit.
“Man that’s good. Well there you have it, if you are interested at all in growing your own fluffy-fruits I really recommend it. Having fresh produce you grow yourself beats anything you can buy from a store.” He took another spoonful of crying fruit and ate it, “Now if you’ll excuse me I have a breakfast to eat.”
