CAUTION: the following story contains tons of half-assed ghetto speak, however because it was written by an Argentine it is not and cannot be considered racist, so STFU or I call Oprah.
After selling his foals at two different shops Lamar decided to go pay Tyrone a visit.
Tyrone (or Ty as everyone called him) is a fat black guy with a bushy beard in his early-40s
Ty got the house when his aunt died, so he had a garage and a yard to run his operation
It was called “Honest Tyrone’s Happy Fluffy Organic Farm”
Fat nigga was more full of shit than the foals he sold…
He would take the shitty bratty mares nobody not even shelters wanted, but that came with great colors
And make them breed until they died
He sold the foals to pet shops, guilt tripping the owners about supporting business owned by ‘people of color’ and shit
“Got the idea from a fluffy supahfactory show on teevee” -said Ty
“Check’em: the fat bitch in this cardboard box, crackas at that factory used some screw-things on dem legs but I just glue the bitch to the box”
Inside one of them a yellow mare said
“Wha fwuffy am hewe? just to suffew? evewy day-EEEEE!”
“SHUT UP BIATCH! THAT GAME WUZ SHIET AND THAT MEME IS STALE AF!” -yelled Tyrone as he punched the box
“Damn son! wut if ya’ll need to change the fluff bitch?” said Lamar
“Niggah I just throw the bitch with box and everytang!”
“Smart, smart…”
“Then I stack them all ova’ the walls”
“Check it” - said Ty as we grabbed a grown pink unicorn filly with a purple mane from a box with ‘soon-preggers’ written on the side
“Nuuhuhuuuu fwuffy wan nyu daddeh…”
“SHUT UP! I aint yo daddy biach!”
“So Lamar, you take a fluff-bitch, tear some of the fluff shit on the back and the legs…”
RIIIIIIIIIIP!
“EEEEEEEEE! HUWT!”
“Shut-UP!”
BITCHSLAPPED!
“Huuuhuuuuuu!”*
“Apply some super-glue to the skin patches, and then you put the bitch in da box…”
“These weak-ass niggas can’t even break cardboard man!” -said Jayjay
“Yea, but some times dem basic fluffies, you know dem ‘rthies, they can be a lil’ buff so I break the legs as well, then glue dem”
SOB! “Huuu…fwuffy wan ou frum sowwy boxie!”
“You are never getting out bitch, this is fo’ life!”
“B-bu fwuffy gu—MMMMMFFF!”- said the filly as Ty jammed an old dirty rag in her mouth
“I do this with most of these bitches, else they never shut da fuck up. Only take it out when its feeding time”
“See this hole in da box nigguh? that’s where the shit goes down, but when dem’ stallions need to knock a bitch up I just put the box face-down and let 'em go to town on the hoe tru dere. Bitch mare can’t even see she’s getting the D! hahaha”
“And once uprite’ bitch can’t move her head either so can’t see down, dem’ shits fall thru’ the hole and them babbehs fall into the bowl here” -he said pointing to a small dirty plastic bowl placed inside the box
“Then da babbehs go to my main bitch Sammy fo’ miwkies n’ shet in the pen ovah dere” -said Ty pointing at a fat grey earthie mare with crotchboobs as big as the rest of her body
“She gets to put sum educashun on dem’ foals, teach them where to shit and stuff”
“Aw shiet one of dem’ brown ones in the feeding pen! Sammy you dumb bitch hows ya di-n’t see this shit?”
“Sowwy mistay Twy, poppie babbeh mus be hidins”
“Well enough of that shit, come 'ere you little turd”
“Pwease babbeh jus wan wub!”
"Yea and I want a mansion in whiteyville like that BLM bitch has but that ain’t happenin’ " -said Ty to the foal
“Yo JayJay! catch”
He threw the brown earthie filly at full speed
“Nigga wha?-oh shit!”
Jayjay dodged the foal going straight to his face
But instead of having a quick death against the brick wall the foal bounced on the plywood door and fell on the floor
BANG!
Softer than brick the door absorbed a lot of the impact, but still broke nearly every bone of the foal causing internal bleeding
COUGH! “b-b-bab-eh nee’ mummah! nee hu-gsies…”
“Yo fuck you Ty, that shit ain’t cool”
“Don’t be a bitch-nigga…hey! the lil’ shit still alive…”
“p-pwease hewp…am owny w-wittu babb-eh…mu-mmah”
“Yo mamma dun want yo ass fluffy”
Then JayJay kicked the dying foal out the door and into the yard. Outside was a beige alicorn without wings, a cracked horn and a puke green mane called KluKlux. Jayjay found him on the streets, apparently his bitch mummah tried taking his wings and horn to make it a normal babbeh
Instead she ruined a poorly colored but still valuable alicorn.
“KluKlux! new fuck buddy fo’ ya!”
“Yus! fank yo! daddeh!” -said the fluffy as he proceeded to turn the dying foal into an enfie babbeh
NUUUU! STRAWNGEW DANGEW! STRAWNGEW DANGEW! EEEEEEEEEE!
Shhh! nu teaw wittle babbeh, onwy dweams nao…
Near the corner there’s a tall bin full of dying foals, some with good colors that died or where too deformed to sell so they got discarded, but the vast majority are like 20 different shades of brown and the kind of ugly greens and yellows nobody wants. Ty used to sell them to PetChow co. on the other side of town but a new state law said fluffies can’t be used for dog and cat food anymore, some dumb fags said fluffy meat being “GMO” or some shit could be bad for their fucking pets and like every piece of pseudoscience bullshit that gets spread through social media it got enough attention to get legislation behind it. You remember that day not because of the news but the fucking stampede of fluffies being dumped by the factories purging their inventory. A fucking sea of foals and semi-adult fluffies went into the street, you couldn’t count them all but was sure they were a few thousands. Were its the key word here, most got killed by cars, you remember an old dark green Honda plowing through the shitrats and coming out the other side full of fluff of every color stuck to the body panels by fluffy blood, guts and brains. The ones that survived became part of the ghetto’s herds, only to endure a life of suffering worse than the pet food factories were. At least back there they had an okay life and food until the day of the grinder came.
Outside every day was hell.
“Dummeh hoomin gib skettis NAO!”
“Hold-up!” -said Ty- “look what we got here!”
He then grabbed the cyan unicorn colt pinching his scruff with his index and thumb
“EEEE, BAD UPSIES! WET GU!”
“We got a fucking bitch-ass smarty faggot! guess is time for the bestest-smarty treatment!”
Dead silence, every adult or semi adult fluffy around knows what next, only the foals ignore it. There is a reason why there aren’t any smarties in Ty’s garage, at least not big ones. The moment a foal, any foal no matter how good the colors are gets ‘smarty’ Ty proceeds to do the most unthinkable (for a fluffy that is) to said foal, a way to show the rest what happens when a fluffy wont obey orders from his master.
“Hurhur you gonna get it now shitrat” -said Jayjay
“He sure will, but first we shoulda give it a name! any ideas fam?”
“How about Toby, like that dumb niggah from dem’ slavery show?”
“Toby it is! and you gave me an idea nigga”
Ty then grabs an old broom and uses a bit of rope to tie to foal to it, then grabs his belt and yells “YOUR NAME IS TOBY!” and hits the foal with it.
SNAP!
“AHHHH! DUMMEH!” screams the foal
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
“NU!”
SNAP!
…and hits it with the belt again
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
“SMAWTY AM SMAW-”
The foal is interrupted by another hit of the belt
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
"SMAWTY AM KWUNTA KWINTE!
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
“SMAWTY NYU NAM-”
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
“NUU! STAP! FWUFFY GUD F-”
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
“OTAY OTAY! FWUFFY IS T-”
SNAP!
“YOUR NAME IS TOBY!”
Lamar and Jayjay laughed at the whole thing, Ty just keeps hitting the foal until it breaks into gory pieces. The foal kept trying to acknowledge the name the whole time, only to get hit again and again yelling his new name. Its possible that the process would have de-smartie’d the foal but after all those hits no pet shop was going to take a foal that looked so beaten up, so why bother? that was Ty’s motto. Ty then proceeds to address the other foals at the pen
“Alright listen up motherfuckers, NONE of you is a smarty, NONE of you is a ‘bestest babbeh’, you are all shit, less than shit, and you only live if me or this niggah here (pointing to Jayjay) says so. If you give us any shit, ANY-at-all you get the same treatment buttpirate Toby here got, or maybe worse, y’all understand? or I have to draw a fucking sche-ma-tic?”
All the foals nodded in unison. A mare in one of the boxes was crying, she was possibly the smarty foal’s mother, or the whole thing made her remember when her smarty babbeh got the treatment. This one isn’t the first and it wont be the last.
“Aight, because Sammy here is the only fucking fluffy with some manners she gets sketti!” -said Ty
“Yus! fank u daddeh!” -said Sammy
“And all you ungrateful niggas get to watch her eat!”
All the fluffies started crying after that, even the foals. Ty set Sammy on a stool right in the middle of the garage so all the other fluffies in the cages, pens and breeding boxes could see. He then took a bag of the cheapest chinese ramen, the kind that comes with lead and who knows what else. Nuked it on the microwave without the flavor packet and added some ketchup on top.
That was the closest thing to sketti for Ty’s fluffies, not that the shitrats’ walnut-sized brain could tell the difference specially since they never got the real thing either.
“Here ya go, and y’all niggas watch: this is what you could get if you weren’t a bunch of whiny ass bitches!”
“Sawwy luvs daddeh! wuvs beiwg maiwn biawtch!”
“Aight, time to get the foals ready for sale, first the colts” -said Ty
“Jayjay hand me the nutcracker”
It was literally a fucking nutcracker, all crusted with dry fluffy blood
Ty then picked up a red earthie colt with a blue mane
“Say goodbye to your nuts shitrat”
“Whu daddeh doin with fwuffy’s speshul wum-”
CRUNCH!
“SCRREEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“NEXT!” -said Ty as he dropped the now fixed foal in a box. Thanks to Hasbio’s design the foal wouldn’t bleed to death and there was no need to cauterize the wound. Though that only worked with foals, if you fix an adult stallion you have to close the wound.
Jayjay hands him a green foal
“Look at this ugly nigga!” -says Ty
“What de fack did yuw just facking say about me, yuw wittwe bitch? I’ww have yuw know I gwaduated top of my cwass in de Navy Seaws, and I’ve been invowved in numewous secwet waids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have ovew 300 confiwmed kiwws. I am twained in gowiwwa wawfawe an-”
CRUNCH!
EEEEE! WUMPS!
“Jayjay what da fuck you doing showing these shitrats tiktok videos? look at this retarded shit!”
Then came the fillies, first an orange pegasus with a red mane
In this case Ty used a Q-tip soaked with some weird liquid
“Fucking state laws nigga” -he said to Lamar- “now I have to fucking fix all dem shitrats, even the bitches. Got one of dem inspectahs here last week, cracker didn’t give a shit about the box-mares, the bin full of dying foals or that Jayjay was twist-crushing a smarty foal in front of the other foals then dropped the body on the middle of the pen. Nope, he all uppity and shit about a brotha selling fluffies with their junk intact, smh fam…”
“I feel ya” said Lamar “ferals gettin’ worse but guvmint wont do shit”
“Damn straight! instead of using my tax money to kill dem street shitrats they send this cracka to make me rape a lil’ bitch with a q-tip full of acid!”
“…since when you pay taxes Tyrone?” said Lamar
“Nevah nigga, nevah, jus sayin’ you kno”
“Wuh is tha-SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“Say goodbye to dem babbehs bitch!”
“SPESHUL PWACE HUWT!”
Ty got his fluffy stock initially from ferals, those were his first fluffies. And the ones that got it the worst, partly because of Ty being a fucking psycho, and also because Ty is also one of the dumbest motherfuckers Lamar knew at the time and he knew jack shit about dem tiny horses. But he learned, more or less, eventually he managed to get better fluffies, ex-domestics, designer stuff, with the kind of colors you never see on the dirty ferals. Some he got from the owners themselves who didn’t want the shitrats anymore nor wanted to pay the petshop or the shelter to take them.
“Why throw good money down the toilet for a bitch fluffy you don’t want anymore?” said Ty
Others were stolen, crackheads in need of a fix stole one from the park, lose the collar and sold them to him. You could tell which ones those where because they were missing both ears. Ty didn’t want to risk the cops scanning the ear RFID chips and finding they were stolen, so he got other fluffies to bite the ears off. That was smart, if he used a knife or something it would show the ears were cut by him.
But bite marks? “dem horses did it officer!”
Case-fucking-closed
When the trash bin of dead/reject foals gets full Ty tells Jayjay to take it outside. Once there Jayjay plugs an old ass chinese woodchipper to the wall socket. Then puts some gloves on and starts throwing handfuls of the dead foals into the chipper. Well, mostly dead ones, there are many live ones there. they just get tossed in, most die but not all, some even last longer by turning cannibal.
But how without teeth? Jayjay says he spotted some sucking on the blood of foals who got broken during impact.
“Dey be all like vampires an’ sheit, like that gay shit twilight or sumthin”
There’s a live one…
“Pwease wet babbeh gu nee muuma-”
BZZZZZZZZZZ
“SCREEEEEEE-blarghbbbbrh”
Ty later takes the ‘foal puree’ as he calls it, mix it with the shit from the mares and takes the bags with the mix to his cousin Leeroy. Leeroy has a whole basement full of UV lamps, and those aren’t for tanning. After the pet food business went bust Ty had to find some use for all the dead foals, so he turned to Leeroy who was already using the fluffies’ shit for his ‘herb garden’. As it turns out the foal puree was like a fucking crack and steroids mix for the plants, Leeroy was getting insane yields after he started using it.
“Some nigga on teevee said that if the fluffy problem got even more out of wack than it already is the market for foals might crash” said Ty “making dem shitrats worthless. In that case I might just get into the weed business as well and just breed them shitrats to turn all dem’ foals into this miracle grow thing. Bet live ones are even better for the plants”.
Suddenly a purple mare starts trashing around in her box
“Aight bitch whats your problem?” said Jayjay as he removed the rag on her mouth
“BIG POOPIES!!! BIG!!!”
“Yo foals commin’ Ty, wanna watch?”
Ty and Lamar go over to the mare and watch
“Here comes da first one…fuck! a basic and turd brown” said Ty
“Straight to the shit bin!”
“Another brown, a pegasus but still shit, damn…”
“MOAH POOPIES!!” -said the mare
“Man I bet is another turd…ho-lee fuck!”
“YEAAAAAH SON! JACKPOT!”
Its a white alicorn colt with a yellow mane
“Told ya KluKlux was good niggah, told ya!” -said JJ
“Damn straight! now time for a speech”
Ty took the alicorn and put it in a clean bowl with a small blanket, tossed his living sibblings in the bin and then walked over to the foal pens.
“Okay listen up lil’ shitrats! see this fluffy here?” said Ty while holding the bowl with the little alicorn foal
“MUNSTAH! MUNSTAH BABBEH!” -yelled a yellow unicorn colt- “BABBEH DABS ON MUNSTAH!”
“Jayjay deal with this busta” -said Ty
Jayjay then grabbed the yellow colt and immediately tore it in half, then threw both of the still alive and kicking pieces back in the middle of the pen for all the foals to see.
“NUUUUUUUU! BRUDAH!”
“FWUFFY SCAWED!”
“NU HUWT NU HUWT!”
“THIS IS AN ALICORN! NOT A MUNS-TAH YOU RAGGEDY ASS SHITRATS!” -yelled Ty
“Even a ‘poopie’ alicorn is worth like $100, y’all niggas are worth $5, $10 tops”
“But this white, WHITE! alicorn is worth more than all you neon colored faggots combined, get it? which is why he gets a private pen with toysies and y’all get to watch him enjoy it”
“Damn Ty you cold as hell nigga” -said Lamar
“Well whatever, this little mofo means benjamins, I’m gonna get KluKlux to fuck all the mares from now on, need some alicorn bitches to start popping more of dese 'xpensive shitrats, regular ones are barely worth more than the food they get and I’m giving them the cheapest shit there is”
“Aight Ty, see ya 'round”
“Back to bribing sum ferals Lamar?”
“Don’t hate the playa…”
