Sorry for disappearing for an extended period of time… it will happen again. I’ve actually been working on a story that was meant to be a Halloween special but work, other IRL bullshit and general procrastination prevented this from happening but I’m still working on it slowly but surely, not sure when it will actually come out but, as the Lightbringer himself once said “it’ll be out when it’s out!”
In the meantime, I did a short story featuring another idea for a Hasbio product that I had while I was thinking of the hypothetical, “what if Hasbio tried to profit off of abusers?” and this is what I came up with, another drink created by my silly OC featured in my debut story.
Anyways, here is the full list of Abuse Brew flavors as the title promised along with descriptions of what the artwork on each can would look like.
- Black & Blueberry - Black & White Tea with Blueberry flavor. Artwork depicts a blue colored fluffy getting its face beaten to a pulp with a brass knuckle clad fist, its blood being blue and juice-like.
- Blood Punch - Red Tea with Sangria-inspired fruit punch flavor. Artwork depicts a red unicorn fluffy being blended alive in a blender, again with juice-like blood.
- Venus Fluffy Trap - Green Tea with Honey & Ginseng. Artwork depicts multiple, terrified Micro Fluffies being eaten alive by venus fly traps.
- Stung to Death - Yellow Tea with Honey & Lemon. Artwork depicts a black and yellow Pegasus with a face covered in painful boils and a giant wasp biting into its head, its blood is yellow and honey-like.
- Squeezed to Death - Iced Tea and Lemonade with Orange flavor. Artwork depicts an orange fluffy being squeezed tightly by a hand, its eyes comically bulging out from their sockets and its brain blasting out from its skull by a spout of orange juice blood.
- Berry Obituary - Iced Tea with Mixed Berry flavor. Artwork depicts three Fluffies, one blue, one red and one purple being hung with nooses by a skeletal hand.
- Rest in Peach - Iced Tea with Peach flavor. Artwork depicts an orange unicorn partially buried with a tombstone behind it and a shovel stabbed into its skull, pink juice blood pouring out.
- Slaughter Melon - Kashmiri Tea with watermelon flavor. Artwork depicts a fat, green fluffy with a wavy stripe pattern being sliced in half with an axe, revealing insides resembling the inside of a watermelon.
- Grave Fruit - Oolong Tea with Grapefruit and Lemon flavor. Artwork depicts four Fluffy skulls with pink and yellow juice/blood pouring out from their eye sockets, two of these skulls being unicorns.
- Ragin’ Raspberry - Hibiscus Tea with Raspberry flavor. Artwork depicts a red Fluffy being simultaneously burned and eaten alive by a fiery, demon-like face.
- Killer Grape - Black Tea with Moon Drop Grape flavor. Artwork depicts a green Fluffy being torn in half by a grape-colored gorilla, green and purple juice blood and similarly colored innards spilling out.
- Bittersweet End - Iced Tea with Lemon and Lime flavor. Depicts two Fluffies, one green and one yellow being stitched together into a two-headed frankenfluffy, a palatable look of pain and horror on their faces as they look at each other.
- Fish Bait - Hibiscus Tea with Salmonberry flavor. Artwork depicts an Aqua Fluffy with a fishing hook stabbed through its mouth about to be eaten alive by a great white shark.
- Prickly Pain - Green Tea with Prickly Pear flavor. Artwork depicts multiple Fluffies stuck to a cactus, its needles protruding through their bodies and bleeding pinkish red juice.
- Cold-Blooded Dragon - White Tea with Dragonfruit flavor. Artwork depicts a pegasus fluffy being roasted alive by the breath of a horned, dragonfruit-themed dragon.
- Rotten to The Core - Red Tea with Spiced Apple flavor. Artwork depicts a Fluffy being eaten alive by a group of zombified fluffies with red juice blood and green colored innards.
- Black Death - Black Tea with Vanilla. Artwork depicts a cloaked skeletal figure, most likely the Grim Reaper with black smoke pouring from its mouth, the smoke plumes being in the shape of horrified faces of Fluffies.
- Shogun’s Brew - Matcha Green Tea with Chocolate flavor. Artwork depicts green and brown Fluffies of varying species being stabbed shish-ka-bob style by a katana wielded by an armored samurai warrior.
- Killer Kiwi - Iced Tea with Lemon and Golden Kiwi flavor. Artwork depicts a green fluffy being eaten alive by a monstrous Kiwi with rows of sharp teeth.
- Cherry Chainsaw - Ginger Tea with Tart Cherry flavor. Artwork depicts a chainsaw slicing through a red Fluffy’s head, red and white juice blood spraying outwards.
- Mango Headshot - Chamomile Tea with Mango flavor. Artwork depicts a yellow fluffy getting shot in the head by a bullet with a menacing face consisting of mad, swirling eyes and grinning mouth full of sharp teeth, red and yellow juice blood spraying from the bullet hole.
- Citrus Bitchslap - Oolong Tea with Yuzu and Tangerine flavor. Artwork depicts a light orange Fluffy with a black eye and swollen cheek and with a hand-shaped print on it, its neck comically twisted around to indicate it’s been slapped in a cartoonish manner.
- Sour Suckerpunch - Green Tea with extra sour, Green Apple flavor. Artwork depicts a green flavor with a yellow mane getting punched hard enough to make its skull pop out from behind its head, accompanied by neon green and yellow juice blood.
- Tropical Skullcrusher - Oolong Tea with Pina Colada-inspired Coconut and Pineapple flavor. Artwork depicts a yellow Fluffy’s head with a green mane being crushed by a coconut with a menacing face on it, yellow juice blood gushing from its mouth and eye sockets.
- Paradise of Pain - Iced Tea with Mango and Mint flavor. Artwork depicts multiple yellow and green Fluffies being strangled or torn apart by a giant octopus.
- Brain Juice - Iced Tea and Pink Lemonade. Artwork depicts a scalped, pink fluffy with its large pink brain visible and with a straw in it, pink and yellow juice blood dripping from its open scalp and onto its derped face.
Seasonal & Limited Edition Flavors
- Doktor’s Brew - German Fruit Tea with Red Apple, Raspberry, Cranberry, Lemon and Ginger. A limited edition flavor based on Dr. Brauenmeister’s favorite blend of breakfast tea. Artwork depicts a parody of the Re-Animator movie poster with Dr. Brauenmeister holding a test tube containing a micro fluffy being melted alive by the red fluid inside like it’s acid, a plume of smoke shaped like a skull coming out from the top.
- Masala Massacre - Masala Chai with a top secret assortment of spices including cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, star anise and more. Artwork depicts a beautiful yet menacing elephant in the style of a colorful Khaligat painting piercing an Elephant Fluffy through one of its tusks. A limited edition flavor that is part of the Specialist Collection, an assortment of limited edition flavors created by individual Flavor Specialists.
- Smack O’ Lantern - Oolong Tea with Pumpkin and Cinnamon flavor. Artwork depicts an orange Fluffy’s head fashioned into a Jack O’ Lantern, an anguished look on it’s empty eye sockets and open mouth with a lit candle in it, orange, pulpy blood pouring out from it’s eye sockets.
- Thankskilling Brew - Hibiscus Tea with Spiced Cranberry flavor. Artwork depicts a fluffy roasted like a Thanksgiving turkey, complete with an apple in it’s mouth and surrounded by cranberries.
- Naughty & Nice - Yellow Tea with Spiced Pear flavor. Artwork depicts Krampus holding a ladle while looming over a cauldron with multiple Fluffies, visibly screaming in horror and pain as they swim around boiling hot, yellow liquid also containing pears, cinnamon sticks and a few Fluffy eyeballs.
- Beaster Bunny - Earl Grey Tea with honey, lavender and lemon flavor. Artwork depicts a fluffy dressed in a bunny costume being torn in half by a monstrous, werewolf-like Easter Bunny, having purple and yellow colored entrails and juice blood spilling out.
- Drowning in Gold - Irish Black Tea with Honey and Irish Cream-inspired flavor. Artwork depicts a grizzled leprechaun dripping a now frozen Alicorn fluffy in liquid gold, turning it into a living (dead) statue with a horrified look on it’s face.
- Té del Hombre Muerto - A Horchata-inspired flavor with Tiger Nuts, Cinnamon, Anise and Cacao. Artwork depicts a unicorn Fluffy’s skull adorned with colorful, Calavera face paint and surrounded by candles and marigolds. Released exclusively in Mexico for Day of The Dead.
- Hong Kong Brew - A Yuenyeung-inspired flavor, being Black Tea mixed with espresso and rice milk. Artwork depicts a black and white Fluffy’s head being melted into the shape of the Yin-Yang symbol by a pot of coffee and tea being poured onto it. Released exclusively in Hong Kong for Lunar New Year.