Turtle’s School Days
Turtle’s School Days: The Bad Boy
Turtle’s School Days: The Christmas Party
Turtle’s School Days: The New Fluffy
Turtle’s School Days: Reginald Ruins A Funeral
Turtle’s School Days: Special Huggies!?
Turtle’s School Days: The Big Dance
Turtle’s School Days: Big Bake Sale
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“I wub my pwetty widdew babbeh Stwawbewwy suuuu much!” A blonde young woman said in a lilting sing-song voice as she pressed many kisses on the top of her fluffy’s head. This was Strawberry, a stallion with a dark pink coat, a creamy coral pink mane and tail to balance it all out. Small gleaming strawberry clips were threaded through his mane, and a strong candy-like scent came form his fur due to the shampoo that his mummah constantly bathed him in.
Strawberry loved his mummah a lot. Or at least tried to. She wasn’t a bad mummah. In fact, she was very loving. Maybe a bit too loving. His mummah was named Trixie and she absolutely loved cute things. Their entire housie was filled with cute things: Her entire bedroom was filled with plump stuffy-friends, frills, and pink absolutely choked out all the other colors. The young woman always wore the cutest and prettiest of clothing and even had a habit of trying to take things home that she found particularly adorable. When things couldn’t be bought, she’d simply take it. There were many times when her daddy had to get her out of trouble.
Out of all the cute things that Trixie possessed, Strawberry was at the very top of the list. Lifting the stallion up and whisking him off to the bathroom (also pastel pinks and creamy whites), she set him down on the floor and got the bath running.
“We HAFF to get weady for your widdew fwiend and his CUTE daddy!” She told her fluffy in that goddamn annoying voice, swaying from side to side in excitement and already beginning to tug her clothing off. Strawberry was a fluffy who very much did not like to see humans naked and went to cover his eyes, giving a small ‘huehue’ to save her decency. After dumping a bunch of candy scented bubble liquid into the hot water, she tugged the fluffy in with her to get all sparkling clean for their playdate.
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“Alright Turtle: Strawberry’s mom is super cute and I’d like to go on a date with her. Maybe.” Frederick told his green and brown stallion this as they were on their way to a playdate. He’d only met Trixie once, just the other day. Super cute. Way too cute. Honestly he felt a little weird at even being invited to her house. Sure she spoke in a baby voice, though he figured that was just to her fluffy. A little eccentric but those who owned fluffies often could be if they went to the extremes.
Turtle looked up from the carseat he was buckled into. Right at his daddeh. Now unlike Fred, he was very much accustomed to Strawberry’s mummah. “Daddeh, Stwawbewwy’s mummah am su wewd!” As he had tried to explain before. It was difficult for a fluffy to quantify WHY, but even he knew it. Well, he really liked the pink stallion and saw him as a very good friend so he would bear it. Plus Fred was excited. As they pulled into the parking lot outside of the apartments they were visiting, Frederick unbuckled his fluffy and straightened up a little bow-tie around his neck.
“Look, Turtle. I know you’re a good boy but let’s try to follow a few rules. Try NOT to fart.” Fred look straight ahead at his fluffy. Looking as if he were about to protest, he instead just farted. Better to get it out now instead of in front of a pretty lady his daddeh maybe liked.
Well he didn’t really mean to just do that now but whatever. Backing up from the cloud of stink, Fred looked down to Turtle once more. “You can bring your T-Rex but no pretending it’s going to eat people.” Turtle had been going through a dinosaur phase and hadn’t stopped playing with a plastic T-Rex. Gripping it up clumsily in his hooves, he presses a trigger to make it’s jaw open and a tinny recorded roar to be played. The dinosaur’s eyes flashed bright red.
Well, those were the only things for now. Honestly if he was to go over all that Turtle could get up to they’d be in the parking lot all day. Helping the stallion down from the car, the pair would go off on the quest of finding the proper apartment number. Once located, Fred would knock loudly. Seeing his owner do so, Turtle slapped his hooves rapidly against it with a series of squeaks.
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Fred found the door flung open moments later. Turtle was mid-way in slapping his hooves against it and waggled uselessly at the air before plopping down to the ground. Glancing into the apartment, the man found himself met with a hellscape of pink. There were stuffed animals everywhere, lace doilies on every surface, and the place had an overwhelming candy-scented stench that made him want to gag. Before he could even consider going in, Turtle flew past Trixy’s legs and happily went to tackle against Strawberry. He could see that the stallion was in a pink dress frothed with copious amounts of white lace that matched the one his owner was wearing.
“Hiiiii Fwed! Come on in!” Giving a coquettish tilt of her head and a flutter of her lashes, Frederick felt himself growing weak in the stomach. Like he just drank a glass of spoiled milk. Stepping into this incredibly strange situation, he was beginning to maybe see that Turtle had been on to something.
Looking around nervously, Fred cleared his throat. “Nice, uh, place you got here Trixy. Very…colorful.”
Turtle and Strawberry were both tumbling around on the floor as two stallions were wont to do, play-fighting and giggling. Trixie looked at the two with some concern as she perhaps was worrying about Strawberry’s dress getting covered in dirt or something. With a fit of laughter they’d run off to the fluffy’s saferoom however.
Rooted in place, Fred nervously glanced toward the door before his host lifted up a plate of macaroons from the coffee table and began mushing one against his mouth.
“Open upppppp widdew Fwed.” She cooed at him.
May God send a lightning bolt through the ceiling to end it all.
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“Waaaooowwww!” Skipping across the very impressive saferoom he’d just entered, Turtle was simple amazed by how much stuff that Strawberry had. Sure this room was just another one of sickly-sweet pastels yet it appeared his friend had just about every product which had been advertised on FluffTV. Scurrying up a mini plastic slide decorated in rainbows and smiling clouds, he went somersaulting down the length and tumbling down into a ballpit below. Stepping up to the ballpit, Strawberry peered down curiously before Turtle launched himself out of it.
“Teehee!” Prancing from side to side, Strawberry watched his excited friend gallop around in circles before slamming face-first into a wall of blockies that he’d built up beforehand. Flopping around on the floor and wiggle waggling side to side, Strawberry boldly walked up and dragged Turtle out from the blocks so he wouldn’t trip back down into them upon standing.
Due to the fact that he was an excitable little idiot, Turtle had destroyed near the whole room in short order. Just about every toy had been dragged out, he’d pulled the blankies down from the raised princess bed that Strawberry slept in every night, had pooped TWICE since arriving. In the litterbox at least.
Pinning his ears back and advancing on Strawberry (who was attempting to clean up when he made a mess), Turtle showed his teeth and clacked them together menacingly.
“Huu…Tuwtew? Nu num Stwawbewwy!” The pink stallion shivered as he was getting advanced upon.
“Tuwtew am t-wex naow! Am big munstah dinosaww!” Turtle growled, thrusting forward and chomping down on Strawberry’s mane. He squealed and went flopping to the ground, kicking his legs around in excitement at being prey.
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Meanwhile out in the living room, Fred was seated uncomfortably in a loveseat next to Trixie. He was trying to watch television though it was set on FluffTV, which he rarely even liked to view with Turtle back home. It all seemed to be one big commercial, even the actual programs. It wasn’t uncommon to turn on an episode of BABBEHS and find a bunch of foals named after sponsors. Sure, ‘Pepsi’ could get by as a fluffy name but ‘Burger King’ was a bit on the nose.
Today though he was focusing all he could on the content. It was better than acknowledging the scenario he was in. Trixie was hot. Unbearably so. Yet it was becoming abundantly clear that she was completely divorced from reality.
“Fwedewick, have more nummies.” The young woman cooed, attempting to shove a creampuff against his face. Not wanting to be fed by her, he’d clamp his mouth shut and have sickly sweet cream smeared over his lips. Batting her eyelashes, Trixie knit her hands together and squirmed around next to him.
“OK! How many babies do you think we’ll have? I think seven! Seven widdew babies! Wooooow! Fwed, I can’t wait to be married to you!” Alright, nope. Moving up off of the loveseat he’d look off to the safe room where raucous sounds of the two fluffies playing could be heard. They were the out here. It was a sign of rather dire straits when he was looking toward biotoys as an anchor back to the real world.
“I, uhh, think I heard Turtle say he needed me.” Fred babbled out, rushing off to the safe room.
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Strawberry watched in horror as Turtle was about to perform a stunt that could result in his untimely death. The green and brown stallion was perched up on top of a plastic pink ladder that the resident of the safe room used to get up and down from his bed.
“Nuu-huu! Tuwtew, nu! It am tu scawy! Yew am get BIGGES’ HUWTIES!” Unlike Turtle, Strawberry very much lived in a controlled and curated environment. Trixie would never let him do something so downright foolhardy and X-TREME!
Faithful readers know this was nothing new to Turtle. Why, he had conquered Sketti Dave and served hard time in the Sorry Corner at school for saying bad words. This stallion was a wild boy who couldn’t be tamed and would buck every standard convention!
“Tuwtew, yew am Stwawbewwy bestest fwend! Dun jump! Nuuhuuhuu! WUB YEW FOWEBBAH!” Screeching, the stallion watched as his best friend/classmate pinned his ears back and gave a valiant waggle of his tail. Looking down to Strawberry, he’d puff his cheeks a bit.
“Tuwtew am supeh hewo wike Cap’in Fwufftasic! An fwy tu!” With that, he kicked off from the step ladder. How far was the drop? Two feet. Two feet wasn’t a lot though for a fluffy it may as well be the moon. Ducking down to the floor and screaming his face off, Strawberry imagined how many boo-boos Turtle would get. Maybe he’d end up on the hospital like on FluffTV, all covered in casts while huuhuuing in a bed. Though Turtle lacked any wings he thought for a second that he really could fly. Seemingly unbound if only temporarily from gravity for a moment, his hooves waggled at the air and he glanced across the brightly colored room. Time seemed to slow down, the fluffy feeling a sense of heroic awe blooming in his tiny heart. Then reality caught up and he went plummeting down to a pile of pillows which he’d positioned down below.
Frederic and Trixie had burst into the room while Turtle was in mid-jump, their urgency fueled by Strawberry’s dramatic screaming. Fanning a hand over her mouth, Trixie ran over to gather the pink stallion up in her loving arms and began comforting.
“What’s wrong, sweetie-weetie-kins?” She asked in a reverent tone to her fluffy, who looked up with tears in his eyes.
“Tuwtew make jumpsie and gun hab boo-boos and Stawbewwy wub Tuwtew fwend!” This was blurted out quite pathetic, Strawberry only then just realizing that Turtle was in fact quite fine and staring at the three of them with a somewhat stupid expression, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth in a clueless display.
Fred couldn’t help but feel a smile coming on. Boy was Strawberry a little too dramatic, but it was hard not to feel something from his outburst. He loved Turtle dearly but even Fred knew he wasn’t exactly the smartest fella around. Or the most popular. If you could say one thing about Turtle it’s that he was without a doubt himself and it was good to see that he had gained such a fervent friend at school. This touching moment was disrupted by Trixie twirling about with Strawberry clutched in the crook of one arm.
“Don’t wowwy, schweetheawt! You’ll ALWAYS have your stuffed Turtle!” Stuffed turtle? Huh. He was thinking a stuffed plush of a regular old turtle but Trixie bent down to rummage around in Strawberry’s toybox and pulled out a pretty close representation of HIS fluffy. Yup, it was Turtle. The plush toy had come from Stuff-A-Fluff, and Fred found with mounting embarrassment that it was covered in small, sloppy kiss marks from what had to have been a fluffy’s mouth covered in pink lipgloss. Oh. So it was like that. That was kind of sweet.
Rushing to Strawberry’s defense and having enough wit about himself to know exactly what was going to happen, Fred put a hand up. “Trixie, come on, let’s not…”
He was interrupted by her sugar manic outburst, bringing the stuffed fluffy up and waggling it around. “Wook! Stwawbewwy has a crush and kisses him all night!” Giggling and shoving the stuffed toy’s mouth up against her own fluffy’s, Strawberry squealed and flailed around. This was another instance of his mummah taking things way too far!
“Mummah! Stahp! Huuhuuhuu, yew makin’ Stwawbewwy a dummeh kissie babbeh!” Moving his head from side to side, he couldn’t even look down to Turtle who was by now watching all of this happen with a look of renewed interest.
This was a great revelation! Strawberry liked HIM that much? Enough to have a Turtle toy that looked just like him that he gave kissies to!? Eyes growing big and sparkly, the green & brown boyo got up on his hind legs and happily bopped his front ones to and fro.
“Dat am SU cool, Stwawbewwy! Tuwtew wub yew tu! An’ wub Sunsheen!” Of course he couldn’t go a day without blabbering about Sunshine. Getting so excited that he began to jitter across the carpet without even seemingly moving his hooves, Turtle bumped around into stuff and giggled happily.
“Am gun wib wif Stwawbewwy an’ Sunsheen an’ hab WICKY-KISSIES an’ HUGGIES!” Loudly boasted Turtle. Strawberry laughed while his mummah giggled!
“Dats wite!” She said in her saccharine voice, tweaking her hips from side to side and making Strawberry dance in the air. “You’ll AW give kissies EVERY day and I’ll be with Fwed and hab TEN BABIES!” Ten? That was more than last time. Giving a groan, Fred bent down to Turtle in desperation.
“Turtle.” He whispered to his still jittering stallion, who was too excited to realize that his father was about to potentially be kidnapped and used to farm babies. Being talked to in such a secret way made him quirk his ear and listen.
“Yis daddeh?” Asked in an innocent tone, looking up to Fred with rapid taps of his front hooves.
“Fart. Fart all you can.” Fred said, deciding that this was the most graceful way out of here.
Shock. That’s what Turtle felt. Farting? That’s what he was told NOT to do. Yet by the tone of daddeh’s voice, this was an important mission. Something that only he could do. First he looked to Trixie. She was still booping the plush of himself against Strawberry. Strawberry, meanwhile, finally looked at him. Turtle could see desperation in his eyes. Glancing to Fred, the stallion was nodded to from his daddeh. Taking a deep breath, he dropped The Bomb.
Lifting his tail, Turtle gave a burst of gas that sounded like a gunshot in the tiny safe room. Suddenly, Trixie stopped teasing her fluffy. Slowly looked to the offensive fluffy. Pink painted lips twitching, she thrust an accusatory index finger up.
“Eww! EWW! Don’t even do something so disgusting!” She squealed, stamping her feet with each word. This was a challenge only Turtle could surmount though. Each time she talked, he let out a fart! TOOT, BRAP, PRRRRTT! This place was quickly becoming stinky and Fred felt that his li’l buddy had served exactly the kind of distraction he needed to leave without making the lunatic feel bad. Scooping Turtle up and holding him so his face was poking out behind him, Fred raised a hand.
“Uhh, as you can see, Turtle is having…abdominal problems.” Fred tried to put on his put apologetic tone. Glaring, Trixie crossed her arms and gave a tiny ‘hmph’.
“You blew it, Fwed! I will NEVER have your little sugar-crystal babies now! Never ever! Now take your stinky, bad fluffy and GET OUT NOW!” Screeching and stomping even more, throwing a true shitfit, Turtle would take great umbrage at her mistreatment of his daddeh. He began to fart even more as if to offer an amazing counter-argument.
“Bye Stawbewwy!” He waggled his hooves to say goodbye even though he was facing away from the pink stallion.
Even though it currently smelled like poopies in here, Strawberry had never thought his friend had been so cool. To make stinky noises right in front of HIS mummah, that really took some guts. Even more than jumping off a high place onto some pillows.
“Wub yew Tuwtew! Wub yew! Pway wiff yew at schoow!” Strawberry waggled his hooves out to say goodbye and the two swept out of the apartment.
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After Turtle had been safely buckled into his carseat, Frederic settled into the driver’s seat and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.
“Buddy, that lady was WHACKADOO. Hot, but whackadoo.” What an understatement. Turtle was buying playing with his T-rex figure, making it’s jaws snap open and closed with tinny roars.
“….Dude, you seriously smell like crap.” Fred groaned and rolled down all four windows. Cool January air sucked into the car as they made their way home from this cursed playdate.
