You’ve just gotten home with Marley and Piccolo. Piccolo was just as happy to see the new saferoom as Marley was, and they were both very happy to see each other. You took a few pictures of them, looking very cute together, and then fired up your laptop to make a Fluffbook profile, sitting on the couch with your two boys snuggling on a cushion, watching the screen with fascination.
bing!
Minutes after you upload the pictures of your fluffies, you get a message. Hey, it’s Mark! And he sent you a friend request, too!
Hey, glad to see you on Fluffbook! Looks like Marley and Piccolo are settling in just fine. I’m sending you an invite to our playdate group. Hope to see you three soon!
bing!
You have been invited to the group Fluffy Buddies 4 Life.
You click accept, and accept the friend request too, and start browsing the daycares section, looking for one in the neighborhood. You also take a look on the Flufftopia website. You want to get a fluffy-safe stroller and some harnesses, so you won’t have to keep carrying the boys around when you take them outside, but you aren’t going to the store again today. You don’t need the harnesses yet, anyway, they aren’t big enough.
You briefly take a break from ordering the new things to roll up another spliff.
You are Piccolo, and you’re so happy right now!
You were sad to see your green friend go, but then he came back, and he had a namesie and even a new daddeh!
And then you found out that his new daddeh wanted to be your new daddeh too! And you got a namesie too!
The two of you are in your new housie, sitting on a big soft thing called a “cowch” with your new daddeh. You’re watching him doing something on a big flat foldy thing with a shiny square thing on one side. You don’t really know what he’s doing, but it’s so interesting!
Then he stops, and starts doing something else. He’s making a weird long stick thingy with long brown paper thingies and little white paper thingies that get curled up into little tubies, and green stuff and brown stuff. You thought those were nummies, but your daddeh said they aren’t. So what are they?
Then he puts one end of the sticky thing in his mouth, and gets a little shiny squarish thing, and squeezes down one end with his thumb, and a buwnie comes out! You let out a little eep. All fluffies are scared of fire. But your daddeh strokes you and tells you he won’t let the fire hurt you, and that reassures you.
Daddeh holds up the fire to the stick in his mouth, and breathes in. Then he breathes out, and lots of smokies come out of his mouth!
Then your daddeh starts giggling. You don’t know what’s so funny, but you and Marley start giggling too, just because.
Taking puffs from the spliff, you finish your order from Flufftopia, and decide to kick back and relax.
Man, the smoke’s getting pretty heavy. Maybe you should crack open the window. Eh, in a minute. It’s chill time.
“You guys wanna listen to some music?”
The fluffies both nod. Are their eyes getting a bit red or is it just you? They must be getting high off the second hand smoke. You’ve been wondering what stoned fluffies are like.
You load up some Bob Marley. You were thinking Free Bird, but you’re worried that maybe the guitar sounds will scare the fluffies. Save it for when they’re older.
A couple of hours later, the three of you are watching Seinfeld and giggling your asses off, when you all realize just how hungry you are. It’s almost dinner time.
“Daddeh? Mawwey am weawwy hungwy.”
“Yeah, me too, I’ve got the munchies bad. Today is a very special occasion, because it’s the day I became your new daddy, so tell you what: tonight, the both of you get sketties!”
Neither of the fluffies can hide their excitement, even Marley, who up until now has been so chill.
“But after that, you’ll be getting sketties once a week, okay? The rest of the week, it’s kibble, but it’s very tasty kibble, aight?”
Both of the fluffies agree this is fair. You don’t know this, but part of the training all fluffies sold by Flufftopia go through is drilling in that sketties are a privilege, not a right. They’re happy to know that they’ll be getting sketties at all, and they know not to be bad fluffies and demand it.
You gently move the cushion the fluffies are vegging out on so you can get up and grab your phone. You’re too cooked to bake, er, too baked to cook, but there was an ad on Fluffbook for a service that home-delivers spaghetti made specifically for fluffies. And you should probably decide what you want for dinner too. Chicken, maybe?