Josef looked out over the blood and carnage that littered Tara’s back garden, and he chuckled.
“I must say Tara, I’m impressed. You annihilated them.”
“Please Josef, don’t start, I’m not best pleased with myself.”
“Why not, I think you’ve done stellar work here.”
“I’ll explain everything in a moment, let’s get Chip and Coco together and let them have some good fucking news for once.”
Tara didn’t like the smirk Josef gave her, but he didn’t object and brought the carrier cage with Chip inside through to the living room.
“He’s been well-behaved, cried a bit but a little food and some rest and he calmed down. You got lucky with this one.”
Tara said nothing, she just took the carrier and placed it on the floor, slowly opening the door and stepping back to let Chip step outside. The wounded stallion took a few tentative steps forward, he recognised that he was home but the horrors surrounding home had him on edge. It wasn’t until he saw Tara that he properly perked up.
“Mummah, mummah Chip hab wowstesh wowwies, neba fink see yu gain, scawed biggesh meanies gib yu huwties ow foweba sweepies.”
“It’s ok Chip, I’m ok. Those meanines can’t hurt anyone anymore. And even better, look who I found outside.”
Tara stepped to the side, allowing Chip to get a look at the Fluffy bed she’d brought through from the kitchen. Resting inside was Coco, still weary and tired from her ordeal with Khan’s herd, but when father and daughter saw each other, both of their faces lit up.
“Daddeh?”
“Babbeh?”
“DADDEH!”
Coco burst forward, Chip tried to do the same but his wounds were still fresh, still he ignored the pain enough to meet Coco halfway and envelop her, both of them openly weeping with fear, loss and pain, but most of all with joy.
“Chip am daddeh gain, hab babbeh bak, daddeh neba weave yu gain.”
“Huu, Co-co hab wowstesh heawt-huwties, biggesh Fwuffy meanies gib foweba sweepies tu famiwy, Co-co neba fink see daddeh gain.”
“Daddeh am hewe, daddeh wubs babbeh, babbehs wubs daddeh…”
As Chip tried to console his only surviving child with song, Tara took Josef through to the kitchen. Upon entering, Belle perked her head out of the sink, hoping for some attention.
“Nice Wad…”
“Shut it.”
Belle farted and instantly dropped her head back down to the cold, cramped metal of the sink she was stuck in.
Josef chuckled. “Your bedside manner is impecible.”
“Don’t Joe, just fucking don’t. I’m still trying to work out what to do with her.”
“I can give you some ideas if you like.”
“It’s not ideas it’s… You didn’t see me Joe, I was… lost. Every time someone in that herd opened their mouth it just made me so fucking angry, I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to hurt them, I wanted to hear them cry and scream, I wanted to see them bleed as I butchered them in the worst ways my imagination could think of.”
Josef shrugged his shoulders. “So? They probably deserved it.”
“They did but, Joe I almost killed Coco. This brown bitch had her and I thought she was her foal, I knew she wasn’t, somewhere in my mind I knew that I saw her alone, no mate, no children. But at that moment it didn’t matter, I knew that killing the foal would hurt her and that’s all I wanted to do, if she hadn’t let slip that it was Coco I would’ve killed the only family Chip had left. I let that happen, because I couldn’t escape that, that, that… that rage, that fury. I saw red and I couldn’t escape it.”
To Tara’s shock, Josef laughed. “Ha, yeah that sounds about right, you’re a Mongola alright.”
“Excuse me.”
“I said you’re a Mongola alright, that anger is in our bloodstream, difficult to get a hold of but at least you got to try it out on some Fluffies, make the best target.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What?”
“I’m here having a genuine fucking crisis about almost killing one of Chip’s foals, one of MY OWN Fluffies, and all you can say is ‘Sounds about right’? Christ no wonder this family is so fucking broken, everyone thinks its normal to feel like this.”
The smile vanished from Josef’s face, and suddenly Tara felt a tinge of fear shoot through her.
“Now you listen here Tara, you’re family so I won’t make a big deal out of it, but don’t you fucking DARE take the moral highground with me. Not after what you’ve done out there. You may have lied to yourself, you might even be telling yourself that this was justified, retribution for what happened to your shitrats, but I knew from the moment you arrived at my house what was going on, you were just too fucking scared to see it.”
Tara held her breath and tried to match her cousin’s intense stare. “And what might that be?”
“That you’re just like me, you’re an abuser, you’re a Fluffy hater, that you’re a goddamn Mongola whether you like it or not.”
“You told me you didn’t hate Fluffies, you told you were apathetic towards them, that you…”
“I told you what you needed to hear Tara, but I had your number clocked from the first fucking second. If you really cared about Chip then why didn’t you help him sooner?”
“What are you…?”
“That first night, when you saw the herd had broken in and butchered his cunt mate and their kids, why did you spend… what was it, 4, 5 hours just watching the use him like a fucking punching bag?”
“I told you, I was doing recon, seeing how many of them were there. Plus I needed to wait until them were asleep so I could sneak Chip out of there.”
Josef snorted in derision. “Please, if you wanted Chip out of there you could’ve fucking strolled in and took him at any time. You afraid a fucking Fluffy was going to harm you in any way? No Tara, I think you felt that hatred simmering in you, I think you waited so you could justify what you were feeling, I think you waited because deep down, all those little tantrums he threw, all those times he shit on the floor, or demanded spaghetti, or refused to listen to you, you felt kinda glad he got hurt, that he finally got what he dese…”
SLAP
Both Tara and Josef stood in shock as the sharp hit of Tara slapping Josef froze that moment in time, neither of them expected it to happen, both just stood there, eyes wide with only the trembling cries of Belle breaking the silence.
“Yo… you don’t kn… know the first thi… thing about me and m… my Fluffies.” The quivering fear in Tara’s voice betrayed her attempts at strength. “Don’t you thi… think you know an…anythi…thing about me or wha… what I do.”
Josef touched his hand to his cheek, still burning red hot from where Tara had hit him. And he smiled.
“Very well then.”
Tara kept on her brave face, not that it did any good as Josef strolled straight past her to look out the window into the back garden.
“What are your plans for her?” Josef asked, pointing at Belle.
“That’s for me to figure out.”
“Fwuffy am soon-mummah.” Belle whimpered out. “Nu huwt tummeh-babbehs.”
Josef turned to Tara, confusion in his eyes. “I thought you said she had no…”
“I said I’ll figure it out.”
Josef smirked again. “Ok then. What about the fat fuck nailed to the fence out there?”
“I was gonna leave him there, let him starve.”
Josef shook his head, still smirking. “Nah, Fluffies last longer than you think they do, and it might take Chip and Coco some time before they want to come back into the garden, but for you seeing him day after day, that’s gonna eat away at you. Tell you what, I’ll take him off your hands for you, could use a new guinea pig.”
“Why would you do that? Help me I mean.”
“Because dear cousin, this will be the last favour I ever do for you. Until you’re willing to admit to me and to yourself that I’m right, there’s nothing more we need to say to each other.”
Josef stepped forward and placed a hand on Tara’s shoulder, but the tight grip he gave let her know it wasn’t out of friendship.
“I left some bin-bags in the living room, once I’m gone you can use them to clean up your own fucking mess.”
And without so much as a final word, Josef turned and left through the backdoor. Tara watched as he approached Khan, giving him a soft stroke on his head. She couldn’t hear what was said but the look of joy and relief on Khan’s face as Josef cut the string tying Casey’s corpse to Khan’s balls was enough to tell her that Josef was filling his head with promises of safety and love.
She almost pitied the monster.
Josef didn’t even look at her as he pried Khan off of the fence and left her garden through the side gate. No goodbyes, no final word, not even a glance. Tara waited until she heard his car start and drive off before she allowed herself to breathe again, even still something felt like it was choking her.
Trying to ignore it, Tara returned to the living room, finding Chip and Coco still holding onto each other. Upon seeing her, Chip smiled and waved.
“Mummah, Chip hab babbeh bak, hab biggesh heawt-happies.”
“I know Chip, I’m happy for you too. Listen, I need you two to stay in the safe room for a little bit, mummy needs to… take the big meanies out of the garden. Will you two be alright on your own for a bit?”
Chip nodded. “Chip an Co-co nu du mush, jus wan wewax afta wowstesh bwite-times.”
“I understand, why don’t you run on ahead, I’ll bring you up some food.”
“Ok, fank yu mummah.”
Chip carefully lifted the exhausted Coco onto his back and carried her through to the safe-room. Tara watched them leave before turning her attention to the roll of black-bags Josef had left on the table.
She had a lot of work to do.
3 Years Later.
“Mummah, mummah, Co-co feew babbeh.”
Tara knelt down and placed a hand on Coco’s enlarged stomach, she was just hitting 2 weeks pregnant and had started feeling her unborn foals kick. Tara felt it to and smiled.
“I feel them Coco, you’re going to be an excellent mother.”
“Co-co hab biggesh heawt-happies, bu wan daddeh hewe tu see tummeh-babbehs.”
Tara understood Coco’s pain, Chip had passed on a little under a year ago from natural causes, old for a Fluffy but he never fully recovered from Khan’s attack and Tara felt like she and Coco were robbed of several more years together.
At that moment Tara heard her phone ringing, she looked and saw it was her dad calling.
“Alright Coco, I’ve got to take this, but I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Ok mummah, Co-co sing tu tummeh-babbehs. Mummah wub babbehs, babbehs wub mummah…”
Leaving Coco to her off-key nursery rhymes, Tara found a quiet room and answered her phone.
“Hey dad, what’s up?”
Tara heard her father’s breathing, it sounded heavier than usual, after a moment he spoke. “Tara I… I’ve just been given some bad news and I wanted you to hear it from me before anyone else told you.”
“What is it… oh it’s not your health is it, because if you tell me…”
“No, no I’m ok.” Herman stifled a laugh at his daughter’s panic. “No it’s… it’s Josef. Tara he’s dead.”
“Oh.”
“Now I know you two weren’t the closest and I know whatever happened between you two was bad enough to never speak to him again, but he’s still family and I thought you deserved to know.”
“Do you know… I mean, how did it happen?”
“I’m not sure yet, I’ve heard murder but I can’t say for certain. I don’t know when the funeral will be held but I’m sure I could…”
“I’m not going.”
“Tara please…”
“DAD! I said I’m not going. I’m sad that he’s gone but only for you losing your nephew, whatever there was between us as cousins is gone and for the sake of my mental health, I don’t think I should make an appearance. Call me up after it’s all done and I’ll make the drive down to see you, but I’m not going to the funeral.”
Herman sighed, disappointed with his daughters decision but he wasn’t about to pry into her business. “Ok, ok. I don’t like it, but I won’t push you. I’ll let you know if I hear anything else.”
“Ok, I’m sorry for your loss dad.”
“And I’m sorry for yours.”
The father and daughter spoke a few more pleasantries but it was clear the cloud of Josef hung over the both of them and they quickly said their goodbyes. Tara put her phone away, she felt a tightness in her chest, that weight she’s felt since the day she and Josef stopped talking had never left her and even now, with his passing, it remained.
And she had a good idea why.
Tara ignored the dull ache and returned to the living room, finding Coco trying to nudge a log of bad-poopies off the carpet and into her litterbox.
“MUMMAH! Mummah, Co-Co nu mean make bad-poopies, bu tummeh-babbehs make weggies nu wowk gud an Co-Co twy tu wow poopies but it…”
Tara took a deep breath and put on a fake smile. “It’s ok Coco, I understand, these things happen.”
“Weawwy? Mummah nu angwy.”
“I’m a little disappointed, but I understand you couldn’t help it. So mummy’s going to head down to the basement for a few minutes, then when I’m back we’ll clean this up together, ok?”
“Ok mummah.”
Tara kept on smiling as she turned and headed down the basement, Coco had no idea what went on down there but she knew better than to ask.
Downstairs, Tara found her target; pillowed, locked into place with a wooden-frame, silenced by the feedmask and with patches of her brown Fluff lost to abuse and neglect, was Belle.
And in front of her, were five starved chirpy-foals. None of them lived long enough to open their eyes, none of them having tasted the sweet relief of their mother’s milk.
Belle had been the catalyst for Orchid and her foals’ death because she wanted to take Coco as her own, she wanted her own babbehs. So Tara gave her babbehs, for the past three years Tara had Belle impregnated against her will and forced to give birth, only to watch them all starve to death in front of her, colours and type didn’t matter, none of them left that basement alive.
Three years, six litters a year, anywhere between as low as three and as many as eight foals to a litter, Tara had lost count how many children Belle had lost, but she betrayed the kind nature of well-trained Fluffies for foals, Tara was just fulfilling that bargain.
Seeing the shadowy figure of Tara in front of her, Belle shut her eyes, wishing for the monster to leave her alone, but Tara gripped her by the throat and forced her to look at her.
“Are you sorry yet?”
Belle wildly nodded her head, having learnt long ago that she couldn’t speak with the feeder mask on her.
“Do you know why I’m doing this?”
Belle shook her head, every time Tara asked her it was always the same, Tara could practically hear her pathetic voice in her tear-stained eyes. ‘Fluffy no know what do, but promise never do it again’.
Belle would never learn what she did wrong, she lacked the understanding to see that it was her desire for foals and her betrayal of good Fluffies that brought her here. But Tara kept asking, not because she expected her answer to change, but because it gave her a reason to keep Belle locked away.
Tara let Belle go and wiped the dead foals off the table and only the floor, Belle obviously howled at seeing her foals treated like the trash they were. She then pulled out her phone again and called someone to help her.
“Ricky? It’s Tara, I was just wondering… yes I heard about Josef… No, no I don’t think I will go, too much bad blood between us. And I now you’re not going either so don’t try to offer me a shoulder to cry on or any bullshit like that… Because I know you Ricky, you’ve been trying to get in my pants since University… Yes you have been that obvious. Listen the reason I’m calling is because I’ve got a mare here, real cunt, was wondering if you had any rowdy stallions you want to give some relief to… No, still got all her parts working, it’s part of the punishment… I’ll explain everything once you get here… Alright, see you soon.”
Tara put her phone away and started to climb the stairs. The real reason she wasn’t going to Josef’s funeral was because she knew he was right, she was an abuser, and as much as she tried to justify to herself that she was only hurting Fluffies who deserved it, it didn’t take her long to realise she was taking out her anger on Belle instead of Coco or Chip.
Anger she’d never felt before.
Anger that Khan and his herd had unlocked.
Anger she couldn’t rid herself of.
For as long as she had Belle Tara knew she had an outlet, a way to protect Coco and her foals from her new found fury. But Belle wouldn’t always be there, and when she finally died Tara would have to face the truth, that she hadn’t just butchered Khan’s herd that day all those years ago, she had annihilated her entire world view. Like it or not, Tara was a Mongola.
And she feared the day Coco ever found that out.
, poor Tara she just need to not to go there even Khan started it.