Not all fluffies are for kids, a parent’s guide to introducing their children to feral fluffy herds and smarties (abuser version).
Like it or not, fluffies are part of all of our lives now, and parents would be remiss to not teach their children about them at an early age. Nobody wants little Carlton to let an entire herd of shit-covered ferals into their house when mom and dad look away for five minutes.
This guide is in two parts, first we start with advice directly for the parent(s), before continuing into a picture book style second half designed to assist in explaining the relevant concepts to children.
Part one:
It is generally accepted that children should be introduced to fluffies at an early age to prevent unwanted behaviors later. The importance of teaching the child that they don’t have to do what fluffies tell them to cannot be overstated. If you have, in addition to a child, a domestic fluffy pet, this becomes far easier, as you can allow your child to ‘practice’ various behaviors with the fluffy. These may include, but certainly are not limited to:
- Not obeying the fluffy. Simple to say, but somewhat more complex to teach. When your child practices interacting with the fluffy, encouraging them to not simply do whatever the shitrat (the fluffy, not your child) says can be difficult as fluffies are LITERALLY DESIGNED TO MANIPULATE CHILDREN. Helpful tips include telling your child that they are in charge of any fluffies in their house or that don’t have an owner. Further prompting the child to boss the fluffy around often produces assertiveness in your child, and often submission in the fluffy. CAUTION: it is important to very clearly establish to your child that fluffies are NOT PEOPLE, and that they cannot treat a fluffy how they would treat a person, or visa versa.
- Making ferals leave. If feral garden invasions are common where you live, supervising your child ‘evicting’ ferals from your property can produce desired behaviors rapidly, and before too long your child may not even need supervision, even though it is still recommended to supervise child-fluffy interactions until the child is at least five years of age.
- Abusing feral fluffies. Closely tied to the above, you can tell your child that even though they are not allowed to kick, bite, punch, or otherwise hurt people, fluffies are not people, and thus your child is allowed to do anything they want to make a fluffy do what he or she wants it to do. It is advisable to also attempt to confer the concept of how much mess a fluffy can rapidly create, and further explain the concept of easy to clean, or not needed to clean spaces, like a bathtub or outdoors.
- Pick on, up, or off the smarty first. Explaining to your child the need to go after the smarty first can markedly improve the efficiency with which your child is able to remove feral herds from your property. It is also desirable to explain to your child that even though the smarty may act tough, he or rarely she, is a coward at heart, as are all fluffies, and that if the smarty isn’t showing it yet, then your child is not being mean enough to it yet.
Part two, picture book for explaining fluffies to your child.
Once upon a time, fluffy ponies were created by idiots at Hasbio. While they look nice and friendly, when they don’t have an owner, they are no longer pets, but pests.
Fluffy ponies in the wild are miserable creatures, messy and often covered in their own poop! At times they may look worthy of your kindness, but beware! Wild or ‘feral’ fluffies are disgusting, smell disgusting, and will make a huge mess in your house! So keep them outside and away from your house if you can.
Sometimes, a ‘smarty’ fluffy will come up to you or your house with his or her herd of other fluffies and demand things such as spaghetti, entry to your house, or other things. Remember: YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF FLUFFIES ON YOUR PROPERTY! That means that you can do anything to them you want to, but if you are going to hurt them, hurt the smarty first, because without him, some fluffy pony herds will all run away, and it’s really fun to kick them while they try to run.
So remember, even though fluffies might be friendly, they are not your friends.
The end
[author’s note, the pictures in this story are AI modifications of some of @infraredturbine 's work, I mostly wanted to see if stable diffusion could produce fluffy pony images and the answer is, at least for now with the standard training model, no, not without a source image to alter]
