The Spaghetti Experiment: BFM101's Run [By BFM101]

Based on @infraredturbine’s Fluffy Experiment, I’ll be taking a shot at using the same parameters and how Fluffies in my universe would take to it.

This experiment is open to anyone who’d like to try it themselves, all you need is to follow the guidelines.

1: You have 2 Fluffies.

2: Every day you give one of them Skettis and lock the other one away to see if the free Fluffy will share.

3: The next day, you reverse the Fluffies to see if the newly-freed Fluffy will share in kind or if selfishness will be met with selfishness.

For clarity in this story, any line of dialogue that is italicised will be voiceover for the experiment.

The camera switched onto record and Jonathan Mongola came onto the screen, looking more than a little tired.

“This is Jonathan Mongola, lead researcher and scribe for this experiment. To be honest I’m not sure what I’m expecting with this but it’s been six months since Josef… I need a distraction, something to take my mind off it. I know that Josef ran several experiments on Fluffies over the years so I figured I’d try one myself, one that doesn’t end up with a little red Pegasus raping the survivors. Still don’t fucking know why Josef kept Crimson around.”

Jonathan took a drink of water before continuing. “The experiment will focus on the selfish behaviour of Fluffies and how far they can hold a grudge. Two Fluffies will be placed into a room, it’ll be a large enough room for them to play, eat and sleep in with minimal intrusion from me. Every day I shall place one of them into a Pillory, ensuring that their head is trapped and they cannot move, and I shall feed the other one a bowl of spaghetti to see if the freed Fluffy will share or not. On the next again day, I shall reverse the Fluffies and see if the newly freed Fluffy will share or if they’ll keep the spaghetti themselves to spite their now imprisoned companion.”

The screen cut to an outside view of the Fluffies room, two Fluffies were already inside, a red unicorn with a white mane was jumping around and puffing his cheeks, while a blue earthie with an orange mane sat peacefully stacking blocks.

We have two stallions, both brothers from the same litter, who are going to be the baseline for this experiment. The red unicorn is Alvin, the blue earthie is Bradley, both are a little over a year old. Alvin has already shown signs of Smarty Syndrome while Bradley was a less favoured entity in the family dynamic though he still seems to care for his brother. We’ll start day 1 with Bradley in the Pillory.

DAY 1

The screen cut again to inside the room, Jonathan wearing what looked like a Beekeeper suit to completely cover his body and face has just finished locking Bradley into the pillory. Bradley was still smiling but looked confused.

“Daddeh? Bwadwey nu can mobe. Wai Bwadwey in stuckie-fing?”

Jonathan said nothing as he left the room and returned with a bowl of steaming hot spaghetti, placing in front of Bradley, far enough so that he couldn’t reach it but close enough that he could clearly see and smell it.

Bradley instantly gasped and went for the bowl, only to realise the pillory had him trapped, he couldn’t move, only stare impotently at the bowl of Godly skettis.

“Huu, meanie stuckie-fing nu wet Bwadwey hab skettis, am su hungwy.”

Both Fluffies will be fed regular kibble between these meals so neither of them will starve, however they have not been told that this will be a daily occurrence. They have also not been told they should or should not share, nor shall they be punished or congratulated for doing either.

Suddenly Alvin appeared, his greedy face moving straight for the spaghetti.

“Mmm, bestesh skettis fow bestesh babbeh, wan gud nummies.”

The red unicorn dove in, devouring the skettis like a madman, noodles and sauce went flying everywhere but the majority of it went into his gullet. Bradley could only look on in horror.

“Huu, bwudda, can gib sum skettis tu Bwadwey? Jus wan wittew bit fow tummeh-owies.”

“NU! Skettis onwy fow bestesh babbeh, nu fow dummeh stuckie Fwuffies.”

Alvin had the bowl gone in under a minute, even licking it clean and scooping up the thrown about remains to spite Bradley. Once he was finished, Jonathan entered the room, picked up the now empty bowl and freed Bradley from the pillory before leaving, again without a word.

Bradley could only look at the spot where the bowl used to be and cried softly to himself.

As predicted, Alvin did not share the spaghetti, but as a control that was by design. Now that both Fluffies are aware of the spaghetti and the lack of punishment for not sharing, we can focus on their personal reactions to each new day.

DAY 2

The screen cut to the next day, this time Alvin was being locked into the pillory, and making a big deal about it.

“Wey bestesh babbehs gu dummeh hoomin. Ow Awvin gib yu foweba sweepies.”

Jonathan ignored him and went to get the spaghetti, again placing it just far enough away where Alvin couldn’t reach it, but Bradley could.

“Sketti? Bwadwey wub skettis, bestesh nummies eba. Fank yu daddeh.”

The happy little earthie dug in though with much less ferocity than Alvin did yesterday, though that didn’t stop Alvin from making a huge fuss.

“Dummeh bwudda gib Awvin skettis nyo, Awvin gib wowstesh sowwy hoofies.”

Alvin tried to kick but with his head stuck he could only stomp the floor a little bit. In his anger he threw his head back a little too hard and hurt his neck.

“Huuu, Awvin onwy wan skettis, am bestesh nummies fow bestesh babbeh.”

Bradley looked over at his trapped brother, then down at the spaghetti, then back at his brother. He seemed to be in thought for a moment before he took a mouthful of the spaghetti and dropped it in front of Alvin where he could still reach it.

“Hewe, bwudda need sketti tuu, be big an stwong fow nyu daddeh.”

Alvin looked grumpy for a second, as though about to complain that there wasn’t more spaghetti, but he kept his mouth shut and slowly chewed on his small portion while Bradley returned to the bowl.

It appears that Bradley isn’t one for grudges, or his sibling bond is still at play. We’ll see how this factors in tomorrow.

DAY 3

Bradley was in the pillory again, crying out for the sketti as Alvin not only didn’t share, but had kicked the bowl away and turned his back on his brother so he couldn’t see the spaghetti anymore.

Generosity is one again not part of Alvin’s vocabulary, even with Bradley sharing his food yesterday. Whether this is payback for the perceive slight of a minor amount shared or if Alvin really is that greedy I cannot tell yet, but I will keep an eye on this going forward.

The screen cut to a fast-forwarded montage of the next few days, when Alvin was free, he never shared, often never even looking at his brother. When Bradley was free he would relent and share a little with Alvin, though the amount was getting less and less with each passing day.

It’s interesting to note that neither Fluffy has belittled the other for not sharing, or not sharing enough. I believe that the knowledge that there is spaghetti to come has kept this from becoming more of an issue. In which case, we shall introduce a new element into the equation. A mare.

DAY 9

The screen showed Alvin in the pillory, again making a big deal about sorry-hoofies and the like, while Bradley was looking at a second pillory that Jonathan had installed earlier.

“Daddeh? Wai hab udda stuckie-fing?”

Jonathan said nothing and left to bring in the mare, she was a white Pegasus with a lilac mane, and clearly scared.

The mare is Cait, she’s around the same age as Alvin and Bradley and currently in heat. Likewise she has not been told about the parameters of the experiment but going forward, I will now be locking two Fluffies, leaving the other to share with both, one or neither as they so choose.

I am expecting some… behaviours from Alvin, but as is the rules I shall not interfere.

Once Cait was locked into place, Jonathan brought in the bowl of spaghetti, placing it directly between Alvin and Cait where neither could reach it.

Alvin being more familiar with what was going on immediately burst into demands. “Dummeh bwudda gib skettis nyo, Awvin wan bestesh nummies.”

Cait on the other hand fruitlessly fought against her imprisonment and cried. “Huu, K-aht wan skettis, wai meanie fing nu wet gu. Am su hungwy.”

Bradley walked over the bowl, he looked over at Alvin, the sudden dynamic between them had changed, now there was another Fluffy in play, and the prospect of enfies to consider.

Bradley carefully pushed the bowl with his nose over to Cait’s stockade. “Hewwo nyu fwiend, am Bwadwey, wan shawe nummies?”

“Yu… yu shawe skettis?”

Bradley nodded. “Mawe am pwetty, Bwadwey wan be fwiends.”

Cait blushed. “Am K-aht, wan shawe skettis tuu.”

Bradley smiled and pushed the bowl closer so they could both eat from it, Cait smiled and cooed at the friendly gesture. Alvin could only look on with utter horror.

“NU! Dem ams bestesh babbeh skettis, dummeh bwudda gib dem NYO!”

Bradley, for the first time since the experiment began, ignored his brother and kept close to Cait. Once they were done, he took a chance and licked a bit of tomato sauce from her cheek, she blushed and did the same to him.

Jonathan came in and freed both Cait and Alvin, almost instantlyAlvin ran over to shout at Bradley.

“Wai dummeh bwudda nu gib bestesh babbeh skettis?”

“Nyu fwiend nu hab skettis, Bwadwey wan shawe wiv hew. Dewe be skettis neks bwite-time, bwudda just need wait.”

“NU WAN WAIT, WAN SKETTIS NYO! SMAWTY WAN SKETTIS!”

Alvin went off on a tirade while Bradley took Cait over to the play area to show her the blocks.

DAY 10

This time it was Bradley and Alvin in the pillories with Cait free as Jonathan put the spaghetti bowl down. Cait clearly had questions about their strange new daddeh, but the skettis took her attention.

Alvin, as per usual, broke into selfish greed. “Dummeh mawe gib skettis tu Smawty, ow Smawty gib yu wowstesh sowwy hoofies eba.”

Cait snorted at him. “Yu jus big meanie, K-aht nu wan gib yu skettis.”

And with that, she pushed the bowl over to Bradley, paying back in kind to what he did to her yesterday.

“Bwadwey wan skettis?”

He nodded. “Fank yu K-aht, yu gud fwiend.”

“Bwadwey am gud fwiend tuu.”

The two of them happily shared in the spaghetti while Alvin hollered about ‘Smarty wants this’ and ‘Smarty wants that’.

I’ll be honest, it was real hard not to go in there and snap his neck.

Once the bowl was done, Jonathan walked in and freed the brothers, letting Bradley go first. When Alvin was freed he immediately went to attack Cait by Bradley got in the way.

“Awvin weave K-aht awone.”

“Dummeh mawe nu gib Smawty skettis. Gun teech hew wesson.”

“Su? Yu neba gib Bwadwey sketti, dey wewe K-aht skettis tu shawe wiv who she wan, K-aht nu wan shawe wiv meanie bwudda.”

Alvin snorted and turned his back on them both. Bradley rejoined with Cait and the two of them nuzzled each other.

The screen cut to that night, Alvin could be seen sleeping alone to one side, while off in the distance the silohettes of two Fluffies could be seen, one on top of the other and a low grunting sound coming from them both,

“Enf, enf, enf, enf, enf.”

I expected this, though this was a little sooner than I thought.

DAY 11

Cait cried as she was put into the pillory, having only done it the once so far, but Bradley tried to calm her down.

“It ok speciaw-fwiend, stuckie-fing onwy fow wittew bit, daddeh fwee us wata.”

She nodded but didn’t stop crying, she was scared, and rightfully so.

Once Jonathan put the skettis on the floor and left the room, Alvin for once ignored them, and instead turned his attention to Cait.

“Smawty gib yu skettis if dummeh mawe gib enfies.”

Alvin knows bargaining. I’m actually impressed.

Cait looked at Alvin, then at the spaghetti, then at Bradley, then back to Alvin, and she shook her head.

“K-aht nu wan huwt speciaw-fwiend, skettis nu wowth dat.”

The look on Alvin’s face chilled her.

“Wong answa.”

Alvin moved to Cait’s exposed rear and mounted her, her eyes went wide when she realised what was going on.

“NU! Nu wan speciaw-huggies, yu nu am speciaw-fwiend. HEWP, HEWP! HEW…”

“ENF! Enf, enf, enf, enf.”

Bradley looked on at horror at what his brother was doing. “SPECIAW-FWIEND! DUMMEH BWUDDA WEAVE HEW AWONE!”

Bradley shook and fought as hard as he ever did to try and break out of the pillory, but it was hopeless as Alvin shouted ‘GUD FEEWS’ and dropped off of Cait to scoff all the spaghetti without a guilty feeling in the world.

Cait was still crying when Jonathan freed her, Bradley sprinted over to hug her.

“It ok speciaw-fwiend, Bwadwey nu wet meanie bwudda huwt yu gain.”

“Huu, speciaw-huggies am bad fow tummeh-babbehs.”

Bradley’s eyes lit up. “Speciaw-fwiend am soon-mummah?”

Cait sniffled and nodded “Feew dem mobe wen Awvin… stiww feew dem, fink dey ok.”

“Bwadley nu wet speciaw-fwiend git huwt gain. Bwadwey wub K-aht an tummeh-babbehs.”

“K-aht wub Bwadwey tuu.”

The pair nuzzled softly together, Alvin ignored them and tried to stack the blocks together, he’d had his enfies and skettis, he was satisfied.

The sound of Jonathan snickering could be heard in the background when Alvin screamed “Wai dummeh bwockies nu stak?”

DAY 12

With Cait and Alvin in the pillories, Bradley went to immediately give his bowl to his pregnant mate, but he stopped and looked over at Alvin.

“If Bwadwey gib Awvin skettis nyo, du Awvin pwomise nu tu huwt tummeh-babbehs?”

Hold up, this is new.

Alvin snorted. “Wha bout udda skettis?”

“K-aht hab aww hew skettis fow bestesh miwkies fow babbehs, bu Bwadwey gib Awvin aww his skettis tiww babbehs hewe.”

Alvin considered it before nodded. “Gib skettis nyo, Awvin nu huwt dummeh mawe.”

Satisfied at the deal, Bradley pushed the bowl over to Alvin and left him to devour the bowl while he returned to Cait.

“Huu, K-aht wan skettis tuu.”

“Bwadwey knyo, but nu wan bwudda tu huwt speciaw-fwiend ow babbehs. Am sowwy.”

He hugged her the entire time until Jonathan returned.

DAY 13

As promised, Cait got all her spaghetti, even after she tried to give some to Bradley he refused.

“Skettis am fow babbehs, Bwadwey nu wan anee.”

Alvin was surprisingly quiet during this, I wonder if he really was honouring the deal.

DAY 14

Alvin’s turn to be free, once Bradley and Cait were locked in place, he waited patiently in the middle of the room for his bowl.

I knew he was up to something, and I had a bad feeling what that was.

Jonathan placed the bowl in the room and left. Alvin greedily gobbled it all up, not even thinking about the other two. Now that he was having two bowls, he was starting to show signs of fattening up, his neck folds were more prominent when he bent down to eat.

Alvin got through a vast majority of the bowl but didn’t finish it, instead he turned his attention to Cait and started to walk towards her, his erection showing between his legs.

Bradley knew what was going on. “NU! AWVIN PWOMISE, NU HUWT SPECIAW-FWIEND, NU HUWT TUMMEH BABBEHS!”

“Smawty du wha Smawty wan, an Smawty wan enfies.”

Cait shook and thrashed and crashed, nearly breaking her neck in her attempts to free herself. None were successful as Alvin mounted her yet again.

“NUHUUUHUUU! Nu huwt tummeh-babbehs, speciaw-huggies am bad fow…”

Alvin smacked her in the spine, the shock dropping her to her knees. “Enf, enf, shuddup, enf, dummeh, enf, enf, mawe.”

Cait was wailing even harder than last time, crying for the pain, crying for her unborn children. Bradley wasn’t crying, he was fuming, he was trying so hard to pull his head out of the pillory that Jonathan could see trickles of blood coming from his neck.

“GUD FEEWS!”

But it was no good, and Alvin finished inside Cait again, leaving her to her misery, Alvin returned to the bowl and finished the last of the spaghetti.

Little bastard clocked that finishing the bowl brought me back in, he saved the last so Cait would still be stuck. If it wasn’t so heinous I’d be impressed.

Jonathan entered the room and freed Bradley and Cait, only Bradley didn’t go to comfort his mate.

He went straight for Alvin, crashing into him and kicking his brother in the face.

“YU WIED TU BWADWEY, YU HUWT SPECIAW-FWIEND! BWADWEY GIB YU FOWEBA SWEEPIES!”

Alvin fought back, punching Bradley in the eye and knocking him off.

“She jus Smawty’s enfie mawe nyo, bwudda neba hab dummeh poopie babbehs nyo.”

“GGGAAAAGGGgHHHHHHH!”

Bradley let out a warrior cry as he charged at Alvin, the two brothers locked into a fight, smacking each other with their hoofs. Alvin was clearly the bigger and stronger of the two and doing some major damage to Bradley. But Bradley had pure, unbridled rage on his side.

Rage that he used to kick Alvin in the stomach, knocking the unicorn to the ground. Then Bradley went behind his brother, and stomped on his testicles.

“HHHUUUUUUUUU!!!”

Alvin let out a high pitch squeal as his balls were burst open, he could only wheeze and cry as a battered and bruised, but still breathing Bradley stood over him.

“Pwease… wowstesh wump huwties… Smawty nu wan foweba sweepies.”

“Bwadwey nu cawe.”

And Bradley stomped on Alvin’s head, again and again and again and again until finally something caved in, Alvin’s body twitched and went limp. Alvin was dead.

Bradley turned his back on Alvin’s body and went over to Cait, cuddling her as she wept into his arms.

The screen returned to Jonathan facing the camera.

“Cait’s foals were unharmed, she was still early enough in her pregnancy that Alvin’s attacks didn’t harm her. But if he kept that up then he would’ve done some damage. With Alvin dead the experiment has come to an end, results were… interesting. Alvin being greedy was expected, the fact that he kept that up as his Smarty syndrome grew was the only consistent during this whole thing. Bradley sharing with his brother was a surprise, but familiar bonds are hard to break, something I can personally attest to, it proves that non-Smarty Fluffies do have the capacity to share, although I may need to repeat this with non-familiar Fluffies and see if the results are the same.”

Jonathan looked offscreen as a strange, high-pitched noise could be faintly heard.

“Shh. Next time I might avoid Smarties as well, once sex become a factor it was only a matter of time before Alvin used that to his advantage. Although I must say, both Bradley and Alvin using food as bargaining was more intelligent that I’ve seen in most Fluffies, it shows at least some self-awareness on their part. Shame I never got to quiz them more on it. But anyway, onto our next experiment.”

Jonathan turned the camera towards the side, a visibly pregnant Cait was suspended above a large pot of boiling water, most of her Fluff had been shaved off and her mouth sewn shut. Beside the pot, a pillowed Bradley with tape over his mouth could only shake and cry as he tried in vain to save his family.

Jonathan appeared on screen tying an apron onto himself. “We’re gonna see if cooking Cait will cook her foals at the same time, and then we’ll give them to Bradley to see if they’ve been cooked right. Now I got this recipe from the FluffiesAsFood website but I’m a little rusty in the kitchen so we’ll see how this goes."

A splash followed by loud, agonised screaming could be heard as the screen slowly faded to black.

Aftermath

56 Likes

It looks interesting, I’ll save it up for later!

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Hey, @FluffiesAreFood you have a celebrity fan!

Why not Alfredo?

“Uncwe Jonathan pwetteh smawty,” Napoleon commented dryly. He inhaled his measuring cup worth of Spaghetti-O’s deeply, hoping they didn’t take the MSG out of this new recipe.

“Iz stiww meanie wike daddeh Josef doh.” Hippolyta replied. She had the rest of the can, enjoying it by the spoonful.

“At weast he no wike Cwimson.”

“No mean he wike Hippowita ow Napowean.”

“T’ink can visit uncwe?”

“No knu. Hab mowe heawt huwties than head sickies.”

The two paused. The nature to love was strong, but they recognized they kept getting pulled to the wrong humans. Bad humans. But, ironically, humans that needed it the most.

“Yu t’ink he du fowwow up soon?”

“Mabbeh. Mabbeh no. T’ink uncwe nee’ twy same ex-pewi-ment wiff pesto instead of ma-wi-na-wa.”

“Ooooh…”

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The last few paragraphs show that Jonathan is just another edgy, unimaginative idiot after all, despite his pretensions of being some kind of an intellectual. In the end, he’s not really much better than a Beevis-like teenager smashing foals with a hammer for thrills. The spaghetti experiment was a novel idea and could have continued on with the next generation, allowing for more variations in further psychological experimentation. A shame. The ending was a tragic waste of a rather good idea after all that setup work was done. The concept held such promise for good psychological abuse and drama, but it was all flushed down the drain in the last few paragraphs.

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Jonathan has very good reasons to hate Fluffies. After the experiment was over he had no reason or want to keep Bradley and Cait around.

Though I will admit, the idea of a longer form experiment across several generations is a solid idea. Maybe Jonathan can pass his notes on to someone else.

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Highly debatable. At least if that means Cleveland and Spike.

I sadly agree. I truly appreciated the experiment and the various reactions the fluffies showed. Alvin being smart enough to fake honoring the deal, Bradley being kind enough to share even with an abusive brother, Cait actually holding grudges. That was really cool. The end brought it down a couple notches, as it gives off an “edgyboi” feel rather than the “psychopath regressal to nazi exterminator” one.

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My wife and child dying to a countless number of fluffies would be more than a good enough reason for me.

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Sad Bradley has a good example of a responsible father

Alvin is that typical bastard smarty a crushed nut is karma for his greed. His crushed head is an extra.

Sadly the fluffies was trap under a mongola , so not surprising for this guy who have that mental trauma keep blaming fluffies for the tragic incident of his family. :cold_sweat:

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Hey, there is an internet! :smiley:

What was his degree/field of expertise again?

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Chemical engineering, with a minor in computer science.

Basically he can make a bomb from kitchen ingredients then hack your Facebook to say you have a bomb in your kitchen

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As if they had done so on purpose.

“Yeah let’s all die in the sewers so our gases can blow up the city to kingdom come, that sounds swell.”

Yep. Those dang nabbit terrorist fluffies rushing B to place the bomb cyka blyat.

First of all, with his going underground anarchist/chemist/hacker he never found out the truth?

But let’s say he didn’t. How in blazes can one blame it on the fluffies dying? He should be more resentful towards the sloppy human safety measures that “accidentally” didn’t take that into consideration and cleanup crews never going down to do regular cleanups. Also also, I guess one of those fluffies purposefully created a spark to blow it all up down, like a pirate throwing a flaming torch into a powder keg storage?

He is either so crazy he borders into plain stupidity, or just uses them as a scapegoat because he can’t find the humans responsible for the explosion…

And besides, one should then apply this logic to anything.

“Damn red cars, one of them roadkill’d my niece, now I’ll blow up any red cars I come across!”

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My hope is that the comments might prompt a sequel at least, maybe the premise for that is that it involves notes found on the internet to inspire someone far less sociopathic than this jerk to take things further. The author said this was a possibility, so I have hopes.

The author showed he can write well in this story and came up with a novel concept for portraying drama and subtle psychological abuse, and also created some good characters to use with it. The human really could have been anyone since they are just an observer and interact minimally with the main characters.

Sadly, after all that good writing and character building, the author then decided to take a metaphorical dump on the whole thing in the last few paragraphs and then set fire to it for good measure. That was a waste of some really good writing and buildup until then, and it made me regret even reading it and becoming at all invested In the characters.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen an author piss away a good concept that could have been fodder for so much more. I’ve seen it happen before in other writings posted that ended in annoying ways, and I’m sure it will keep happening.

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That made me chuckle. And while I do agree to an extent, isn’t that a wee bit harsh way to put it?

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Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, but I was really enjoying it up until then, the subtle psychological abuse going on and looking forward to more.

The ending was like ashes on my tongue, so I’m feeling a bit bitter in how it concluded.

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Honestly if anything you’re right about the scapegoat idea.

At this point it’s been about 10, 11 years since Martha and Rolfy died. All Jonathan knows is blaming Fluffies to the point where he likely doesn’t know or care what actually happened.

He blamed Hasbio first which is why he blew up their stores but when that didn’t phase them at all he moved onto their products and hasn’t looked back.

I get that that might make for a character too unsympathetic, maybe even wilfully ignorant, but Jonathan is designed intentionally to be so. Just like Josef was designed to be a narcissistic liar.

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I might pick this up with another character later. Narratively it makes no sense for Jonathan to keep Fluffies and this was always planned as a one chapter story.

I’ve got a couple ideas on where it can go but nothing solid yet

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I kind of think you’re both being a bit harsh, honestly.

Hmm… this should be interesting, actually. I hope he’s not too unsympathetic, mind you.

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Wasn’t my intention.

After eleven years, he still hasn’t realized his hatred is pointless. His cruel ways are pointless. Nothing he does will ever change anything. Is he so daft as to not realize this? Four thousand days and nights spent over… what? I just can’t simpathize. I get the five stages of grief and whatnot. I get not wanting to own/see a fluffy ever again. A year? Two? Three? Five? Maybe.

But over a decade? Nah, fam.

That being said, keeping a character believable throughout a story as fookhueg as your Mongola saga has to be one of the hardest challenges for any writer. My commentary is not only for stupid “wish X character gets gotted” or hurtful “your writing is inferior”. It’s simply to point out that it’s a hard sell (for me) that a character as delusional/dumb/both can always feel like a Jason Bourne super secret agent, getting his paws on gadgets, weapons, resources, tracking down anything and anyone, on top of being brilliant enough to also be a capable hacker/chemist/demolitionist/marksman.

He feels to me a bit too much of a mary sue just because his name is Mongola.

I am only glad if anyone else loves him. I love BFM’s works in general. I will keep reading anything he writes. Up until the end, I was loving this experiment. Until Jonathan became the protagonist again. It felt shoehorned. It might have felt better if he had just noted the subjects were terminated, or just ended with his musings on their actions, leaving the end implied or not even mentioned. I don’t think anyone would have doubts on what their ultimate fate would be. As said, it felt like it was needed to show how evil for lolz Jonathan is.

In the end, I merely think providing feedback, even negative one can be useful to a writer, especially if the critcizing asswipe puts reasons behind it. I hope this wall of text reflects my engagement to this storyline, taking the time to write this instead of saying “lol this succ XD”.
If BFM doesn’t gain anything from me, it’s fine and can even ignore my comments. I can’t force him to do anything.

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Well, the benefits to eating unborn or just born but not yet fed foals are apparent. No waste to remove from there system to spoil the meat, bones are small and brittle enough to eat whole, fluff is minor and should easily slough off during any amount of cooking.

Bradley is in for a real culinary delicacy.

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Dude just shut the F up if you just go in abuse story’s to wine about the abuse.

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