Yellow was hungry. Her tummy babies were growing inside her, so she needed lots of extra nummies, to help them grow to be big and strong. The summer had been good, but now the skies were turning grey. Dawk tiem was coming sooner, and lasting longer, and the bright tiem was becoming cold and rainy.
Yellow lay down in her nesty inside the safe-box that she and her special friend, Piglet had found in the alleyway, behind Luigi’s restaurant. Luigi was a very nice hoomin. He had a home that he called an “Itawian Westauwant” and he made the most amazing nummies - Sketties!
Luigi was nicer than most hoomins. He didn’t mind the fluffies living in the alleyway behind his home, and every night, he would give them some “weftovews” from his Westauwant. Most nights, this was sketties! But sometimes it would be Pizza, or Garwic Bwead, or other hoomin foods.
Yellow knew that she was a really lucky fluffy to get so much food, and so much sketties from Luigi. She and Piglet had even asked him if he would be their new daddah, but Luigi had said no. He said that “enviwonmentaw heawf” would close his Westauwant if he had fluffies inside, and that he knew that even good fluffies would poop on the floor sometimes. He said they could stay living in the alley, and eat lots of nummies, so long as they kept the rat munstahs away. For a while, life was very good.
Then, one day, Yellow found Luigi, sat in the alleyway, smoking a hoomin smokey thing, and crying.
“Wat da mattew Wooweegee?” Yellow asked, trotting up to him and hugging his leg, “Why Wooweegee got heawt owwies?”
Luigi looked down at her, and patted her on the head with his free hand.
“Its my mamma. She has died. Itsa stroke. The stroke kill her.”
Yellow’s eyes widened. How could a stroke kill someone? Kill meant forever sleepies! But strokes were nice! How could this be?
“Wha?” She began, “How stwoke kiww da Wooweegee Mummah? Stwokes wike huggies…”
“Oh you poor little fluffy, my mamma was very old lady. Stroke is like heart attack, but in da brain… she die in her sleep.”
“Ohhh…” said Yellow, feeling bad. Luigi’s mummah had died of heart huwties, but in her “bwain”. It sounded bad.
“Am sowwee Wooweegee…” she told him, squeezing his leg, “Wewwow know dat da Wooweegee mummah mus hav woved him vewy much. Wewwow am soon mummah, Wewwow know.”
“You’s a good fluffy,” Luigi said, scratching her behind the ears, and taking a drag on his cigarette. “I gonna be gone for a week or so. My mamma, she live back in Italy. We fly out tomorrow. Gonna close restaurant for a week…”
Just then, Yellow’s special friend, Piglet, a green and brown fluffy, trotted back into the alley way. He had found some nummies called “donuts” for Yellow. He was a good special friend. When he saw Luigi crying, he ran up and hugged Luigi’s other leg, asking what was wrong. Luigi repeated the story to him. After Piglet caught on, he asked the question that Yellow had not been brave enough to ask.
“But if Westauwant is cwosed… who wiww give sketties to Pigwet and Wewwow? Wewwow am soon mummah! Need nummies fow tummeh babbehs!” Yellow felt a bit bad that Piglet was asking Luigi about nummies, but she did need them for her tummy babies.
“Its ok,” said Luigi, “I give you lotsa food, you gotta eat it slow, make it last a week, no eata it all on first day, ok?”
“Yes Wooweegee!” they both said, “Fank yu Wooweegee, Pigwet an Wewwow wuv yu!” they both gave him their bestest hugs, to help make his heart hurties go away.
Later that day, Luigi gave them both a massive bowl of sketties, and put some more in a take-out carton, and put it inside their safebox. He also gave them a big bowl of clean water, and some old garlic breads and pizza crusts, as well as some salad and tomatoes.
“There,” he said, “that should last you a while.” Then, he found an old plastic tablecloth, and put it on top of the safe-box, to stop the sky-wawas from leaking inside. He also gave Yellow some old napkins, to make a nesty with. Then, he hugged them both goodbye, and left.
That night, Yellow and Piglet snuggled up in their fluffpile, their bellies full of sketties, and their hearts full of joy. Luigi had helped them, by giving them food, and helping them make a better safebox and nesty. Yellow knew she must be extra good when he got back from seeing his herd in “Itawy”.
Snuggling up with Piglet, Yellow began to sing to her tummy babies:
“Mummah wuv babbehs,
babbehs wuv mummah,
mummah giv miwkies,
gwow up, big an stwong…”
Piglet smiled at first, but then a concerned look appeared on his face.
“Ssshhhh…” he said, making Yellow stop her soon-mummah song. “Wat dat noise?”
Yellow listened carefully. In the distance, there was a sound of… a hoomin, a wady hoomin, having huwties! Worstest huwties, from the sounds of things. Yellow and Piglet were suddenly afraid, and snuggled closer, hiding in their safe box, waiting for the horrible sound to end.
The screams continued, and carried on for a long time. Yellow knew that part of her wanted to go outside, and help the hoomin, but another part of her was scared about whatever was hurting her. Yellow was too afraid for her tummy babies to do anything, and Piglet looked afraid too, even though he was a brave and strong special friend.
Thankfully, the screams stopped after a while, and were replaced by… crying. The hoomin lady was crying. She must have heart huwties. Then a strange thing happened. There was another noise. It sounded like the screeching that meow-mustahs make when they have special huggies. Yellow and Piglet were terrified.
They listened for a while longer. They heard the lady hoomin say “I’m sorry…” and heard her cry some more. But then they heard her no longer. Only the screeching sounds could be heard, echoing away in the alleyway behind the closed Luigi’s Restaurant.
“Pigwet!” Yellow said, unable to bear the screeching any longer, “Pigwet mus go outside an scawe away da munstah! Ow it wiww come an num Pigwet an Wewwow an tummeh babbehs!”
“Bu-but Wewwow! Pigwet am afwaid of da munstah! Nu wan get nummed!” Piglet squealed.
“Pigwet am big an stwong speciaw fwiend! Mus pwotect soon-mummah an tummeh babbehs!” Yellow told him.
Reluctantly, and very slowly, Piglet crept out of the safe warm nesty, and ventured out of the safebox and into the alleyway. It was raining outside, and the mean sky-wawas started to drench his fluff immediately. Yellow remained behind, shaking with fear, but trying to keep calm. She began humming her soon-mummah song to herself and her tummy babies. Piglet was gone for a long time.
Suddenly, he was back, poking his head under the plastic table cloth that Luigi had put on top of their safebox to keep the sky-wawas out.
“It nu am munstah,” Piglet was saying, “It am babbeh!”
“Babbeh?” asked Yellow, finding it hard to believe, “Dat nu noise of babbeh. Babbeh chirp and squee. Dat sound wike meow-munstah speciaw huggies!”
“Nu! It am babbeh. Ugwee bawd babbeh!” said Piglet, clearly wanting her to believe him.
“Ugwee bawd babbeh?” asked Yellow, “It am munstah?”
“Nu am munstah,” Piglet replied, as the ugly bald baby started screeching again in the alley.
“Dat nu babbeh!” Yellow yelled, terrified of the noise.
“It AM babbeh!” Piglet argued back.
Yellow thought long and hard. Surely a little baby could not make that horrible screeching noise. Still, if it was a baby, it would need huggies and love and milkies, and would surely die outside in sky-wawa and the dark tiem. Worse still, it might get nummed by Rat-munstahs!
“Pigwet, gu an sabe babbeh! Bwing it to Wewwow. Wewwow can feed it miwk nummies…” Yellow knew this was the right thing to do, even if it was a munstah babbeh.
“Can nu cawwy babbeh, it am too big,” Piglet told her.
“Too big?” Yellow asked, “How dat be to big? Babbehs am wittew!”
“It big!” Piglet told her.
Yellow realised she would have to go outside and look for herself. Standing up carefully, she followed Piglet out of the nesty and into the rainy alleyway. The sky was angry tonight, and the wawa was falling really hard. It ran into Yellows eyes and soaked into her soft fluff very quickly. Later, they would have to snuggle up to keep warm.
Yellow trudged through the puddles and trash, scared of the horrible noise the munstah-babbeh was making. She could just about see it in the gloom, and the pale light of one of the hoomin night-lights, half a street away. It was BIG, and it was bald, and it was ugly! As she got closer, she thought it didn’t even look like a fluffy baby at all.
Then she realised. Piglet was a good, and brave and strong special friend, but he was dumb as a slice of cheese. It wasn’t a fluffy baby, it was a hoomin baby! It was screaming and wriggling and covered in boo-boo juice.
“Pigwet!” Yellow yelled, her voice half drowned by the constant splattering of the rain, “Why yu nu say it am hoomin babbeh! Wewwow hav da scawedies!”
“Pigwet towd Wewwow it am ugwee bawd babbeh!” Piglet complained.
“Hmmppf!” Yellow replied, “Hewp Wewwow dwag it back to da nesty, it am…”
“Am fwuffies gonna num da babbeh?” Piglet asked, looking sideways at her.
“Nu! Fwuffies wiww giv babbeh wuv!” Yellow scolded him. He was as dumb as a bun with no burger.
“But Wewwow! It am munstah babbeh!” Piglet whined.
“Nu! It am hoomin babbeh, and it am onwy wittew babbeh, an babbehs need huggies an wuv, an miwkies, or it wiww hav fowevew sweepies!”
Gradually, and with much effort, the fluffies dragged the hoomin baby back into their nesty. The ugly beast screamed the whole time, but eventually they managed to get it inside, and out of the rain.
“Fwuffies mus snuggew da babbeh, in fwuff piwew!” Yellow told her special friend. Piglet obliged, keeping the baby warm with his fluff. Just then, there was a flash of light outside, followed by a rolling roar of thunder.
“SKY-MUNSTAHS!” Piglet yelled, nearly shitting himself with fear.
“Nu! It am fundah, and wightning, wemember… Wooweegee hav towd us…”
“Otay…” Piglet said, looking embarrassed, “Um… pigwet wiww be back…” Piglet then ran outside to make his scaredy-poopies, before he made a mess of the nest.
“Stoopid-dummeh speciaw-fwiend,” Yellow muttered to herself. She loved him, but he was as stupid as a pegasus that thought it could fly sometimes. The hoomin baby didn’t seem to care though, and carried on screaming.
“Hush wittew babbeh, mummah wiww give wickie-cweanies…”
Yellow settled down to lick the hoomin baby clean. It didn’t taste very good, but she somehow knew it was the right thing to do. Yellow hummed her soon-mummah song to the hoomin baby, and soon it started to settle down. She snuggled up next to it, feeling exhausted from dragging the creature into her nest. She was just about to fall asleep when Piglet dragged something into the safebox and disturbed them both.
“Pigwet hav found nummies!” He beamed proudly, dropping a sack of organs on the floor of the safebox, “It am tummeh-sketties!”
Piglet and Yellow nummed the human placenta, filling their bellies with meat. Unfortuntely, the hoomin baby woke up again, and resumed its wailing. Yellow could feel her milk-places swelling in response.
“Dewe, dewe wittew babbeh, it otay naow. Nesty am safe an warm. Fwuffies wiww giv huggies an wuv… mummah wiww giv miwkies…”
Yellow managed to get one of her nipples up to the baby’s mouth, and it soon latched on and started suckling. Yellow sang to it, and the two fluffies cuddled up either side of it, keeping it warm with their fluff. Outside, the rain and thunder continued, splattering all over the top of the safebox, but inside, it was safe and warm.