Sam Adams Guide April Fools/Halloween Special - Fluffsplosion, InkiePie and Fillialcacophony

Mr. Adams’ Guide to IMPractical Fluffs

by Oculus

with art by Inkie Pie, Fluffsplosion and Fillialcacophony

continued from Part 4 and the ESF Tribute

You Hate Fluffies!

They are the embodiment of the 7 deadly sins in a useless, defenseless form:

-Gluttony-They have a uncanny addiction to spaghetti and always beg for food

-Envy-If one fluffy is treated better by a human, the other fluffies expect the same

-Pride-If a fluffy does anything remotely good themselves they become obsessive over it. They also prioritse themselves above others often.

-Greed-All fluffies try to hoard food and toys from their close friends,even if that means the death of another fluffy

-Lust-All fluffies are obsessed with breeding,and most fuck anything that resembles a fluffy

-Sloth-Fluffies are generally lazy fucks who manipulate others into doing work

-Wrath-Fluffies commonly kill or hurt their own for menial actions


No. That’s wrong. That is all wrong. Fluffies are nothing like that.

“Yes they are.”

No they’re not, get the fuck out of my head.

You keep bickering with the shadow entity. He appears to have a rather skewed entity of fluffies, perhaps borne out of prejudice. As the two of you keep arguing, a bloated, pregnant fluffy dam appears, overlapping him. ( >>479 )

“Babbeh come soon! Huwwy Babbehs! Mummah wub babbehs!”

She gets larger, and larger, until, in a sudden burst of blood and and guts she FUCKING EXPLODES.

As her entrails fall upon the floor, her two eyes land in the palm of your hands, her eyes plead to you, “Nyu fwend?”

All around you are the remains of her dead body, and he newly born foals, chirping endlessly. And as you stare in horror at the still-living eyes, you here the massive sound of



You wake up. What the fuck was that dream? You heard before of the urban legend where a fluffy mother, if bloated, would explode in order to birth new foals. But that is bullshit. Literal hogwash. Fluffies give birth to foals. And they do it through live birth, like any other mammal.

But something about that dream felt real. All too real.

Maybe you do hate fluffies? But that is not true. You’ve been embarking on a rather long journey with Sam, and you’ve loved all the stuff that he’s taught you. You remind yourself of that fact by looking at a picture of your Buwwito. She was well-trained and didn’t misbehave. She was always a joy to hug and play with.

But something about that dream in particular just doesn’t feel right. Then a voice bounces around in your head, saying “Overusing the door has its consequences.” Is this what Sam was trying to warn you about? You pinch yourself. You’re still awake. You’re still you. Thank God.

You try to go back to sleep. But you think back to something that Sam said, back on the first day he introduced you to his fluffies.

“Because of this, ABAP advises having a CERN-compliant safe room if you own a fluffy of the Gowdie, Foxhoarder or Fillialcacophony breed.” ( >>55858 )

You’ve seen Foxhoarders. You’ve seen Gowdies.

But what’s a Fillialcacophony?


You arranged for a meeting with Sam soon. You’ve decided to pop the question by him when the day comes. Its been a week, and that day has come.

You are walking towards Sam’s house when you are confronted by a fluffy pony. But it is of no breed that you recognize. And it may not even be the same as the fluffy pony pets that you have met so far. No, this is a recreation of the character of Fluffle Puff from My Little Fluffy: Ponies is Magic. She sticks her tongue at you, her characteristic act from the show. ( >>13157 )

You’re not sure how to react. If it was a fluffy pony feral, you’d ignore it, since they usually are not vaccinated. But this seemed to be a 1:1 recreation of the cartoon character, much like the ‘Celestia’ you saw back in Japan during that conference. You then hear that sound, coming from behind you


You turn back. And the “Fluffle Puff” is gone. A few seconds later, another “Fluffle Puff” floats by you. You describe it as literally floating, because it is made of balloons. Entirely of Balloons. ( >>12981 )

And yet it sticks out a tongue at you. It behaves entirely like a real animal. Just, made of balloons.

What is going on?


You finally meet Sam at 35 Nerry Road. Today, he’s dressed up in a nice business suit, and once again, he is happy to meet you

“Well hello lad. Today we’re going to meet looking at some Mutagens, and then, we’ll see what we’ll look at next.”

Feeling curious, you feel that now is the time to pop the question.

“What are Fillialcacophony fluffies like?”

Sam stares at you. He does not blink. His smile is gone and replaced with a frozen fixture of concern.


The surroundings darkens. You feel like everything around you has turned into a void. A spotlight from the heavens is now focused on just Sam and you. Both of his hands reach for the collar of your shirt.


"Fillialcacophonies? Friend, you do NOT want a Fillialcacophony fluffy.

I talked about Squeakyfriends last time, but, Fillialcacophonies? They are something entirely different. You ever heard of a Jellenheimer?"

“The fuck is a Jellenheimer?”

“Exactly. We don’t have those here. Well. At least in this reality. But we have Fillialcacophonies. And they’re much much worse. Or better. But sometimes worse.”

“What are you going on about…”


He moves his face right into yours. You can feel his breath upon your lips as he snarls with utter gravity.

“Let me repeat what I said. You do not fuck with Fillialcacophony fluffies. They are capable of things you cannot even imagine of!”

“Okay, okay, Sam I get it get off-”

The void has disappeared. It is daylight again. Sam is in the same spot as he was a few seconds earlier. He is staring at you, as you seem to be holding your arms up against some invisible assailant.

“What is the matter with you lad?”

That was too weird. But you remain undeterred.

“What is a Fillialcacophony?”

Sam looks at you gravely. But his face then changes to one of wonder, as his eyes look the sky, and he brings his fingers to his chin in thought.

“I don’t know how to describe them to you. But I’ll say one thing. They’re not really ‘ideal’ for ownership. They’re very impractical.”

“What do you mean, impractical?”

“That’s just it, impracticality. There’s no real benefit to owning a Fillialcacophony as a house pet or a domestic breed. They have many uses in research, but they pose a lot of problems.”

“Like what kind?”

Sam seems to be dodging the issue. Something about the breed seems to be making him a little nervous. Almost touchy in fact.

“I tell you what, if you let me introduce you to one breed today, I’ll take you to a secure location in ABAP, where we can talk about Filialcaco-”


“That thing keeps happening,” you point out.

“So you heard it too, huh. Try to ignore it. Anyway, I am going to introduce you to the Fluffsplosion breed toda-”

“Fluffsplosion? I thought you were going to introduce me to the Mutagen breed today? And isn’t a fluffsplosion just an urban legend?”

Sam raises an eyebrow. He quickly checks his watch. He starts to frown, before he asks you a question.

“Did you see a void a few minutes earlier, when I asked you ‘Whats the matter’?”

You nod your head, feeling unsure as to what Sam will say next. You can hear him softly mutter to himself, “The anomaly is getting worse." He then turns back at you, looking rather serious

“Alright, listen. We must stick to the current plan. I must introduce you to Fluffsplosions today, not Mutagens.”

“But isn’t that an urban legend?”

“It is, but it is also the name of a breed of fluffies that Hasbio still manufactures and releases to the public. However, it is semi-practical, and we extensively research the impractical elements of its nature.”

As he says this, you see another Fluffle Puff. This time, it is much larger than the previous two variants, and is closer to an actual fluffy than what you had seen before. As it is busy licking its owner, it says the fluffspeak you have come to expect from fluffies. ( >>12769 )

“Fwuffy wuv mummah! Wiww be guud giwl and hav bestest sketties!”

As the woman passes by you, you make a passing remark to Sam, “That’s the third time I’ve seen a Fluffle Puff today.”

“Oh that isn’t a Fluffle Puff. That’s an Inkie Pie."

“A what?”

“An Inkie Pie. Old Hasbio breed, retired half a decade ago. I’m surprised she still has one.”

“This is going to sound weird, but I also saw a fluffle puff that was made entirely of balloons.”

“I’m aware. The Inkie Pie was another one of the impractical breeds I’m telling you about. But how about we focus on one thing at a time. I tell you about Fluffsplosions, then I’ll tell you about fillia-”


“-cacophonies. And maybe we can tackle Inkie Pies after that.”


Mr Adams hails a cab and asks the taxi drive to take the two of you to the ABAP building. While in the taxi, you feel inclined to ask about the urban legend.

“So what exactly is the fluffsplosion? The legend that is.”

"Well, as you know my friend, the fluffy dams of certain breeds swell up and become immobile when they’re about to give birth. This does not apply to many fluffy breeds such as the FierceDeityLynx and Granpa156, but for breeds like the Buwwito or Carpdime, the fluffy mare will bloat up like a literal ball, and be unable to move, being entirely dependent on their mating partner for food, care and defence. Its why, in some urban legends, fluffy mares rely on their friends to roll them around ( >>573 ). I think there could be some truth to it, but it just feels so silly. Anyway, because they bloat up, some person might have spread around the rumour that, because the look so bloated, they must “explode”. We’ve done enough research into the subject though, and it doesn’t happen at all.

Well, at least recently."

You don’t like the tone of that recently, as you ask, “What do you mean, recently?”

Mr Adams stares at you again. The interior of the taxi seems to disappear, and you feel like two of you are sitting in an empty bench, in the middle of an endless void. A spotlight shines on Sam and you, as Sam focuses his gaze on you.

“When the fluffies were first invented by Hasbio, because they were a rushed product, and a mess of genes, when they gave birth, they exploded. They managed to correct it, but the memory of that mistake remained in the public memory.”

You are getting frustrated with Sam’s shenanigans. You raise your index finger accusingly at Sam as you threaten him.

“Sam will you knock it off with this! Fluffy mare never explo-”

The void is gone. Mr Adams looks at you funnily. And after a while, you realize the minute of conversation you had with him just now didn’t happen

“What is the matter? Didn’t I just say that fluffsplosions never happen?”

“Oh, right. Sorry Sam.”

Sam reflects on your sudden actions and thinks for a moment. He then asks you "Did I say something about a ‘recently’?”

“Yes,” you say, while nodding, very slowly.

“It never happened. Its like the Fall of Cleveland, it is all a myth, so don’t worry. But ignore the void.”

“What IS that void?”

Sam looks left and right, before whispering in your ear. “The fields have eyes and the woods have ears. We have to discuss this at ABAP."


The taxi finally reaches its destination, and both Sam and you step out. However, as you behold the bizarre shape of the twin buildings, arched in such a way that they mimic the look of the double Helix of Human DNA, you realize that this building was not the actual ABAP building.

"Alright, laddie, lets go.”

“Sam… this is Hasbio.”

Sam turns around to you in confusion.

“No, this is ABAP. Hasbio is over there.”

As he points to the building in the distance, you see the ABAP building as it should be. However, instead of the ABAP logo at its top, it has the Hasbio logo. You take a quick look at the Hasbio building, and realize that the logo at the top of the building, which would be the Hasbio logo, has been replaced with that of the ABAP logo. Yet another disturbing thing. But with what has been happening today, you have the feeling that today must be a kind of opposite day, like the one you saw in the dream.

Perhaps you should roll with it, for now.


“Wewcom, kind mistah, to ABAP!”

A large, fairly strong Marcusmaximus fluffy usher opens the door for you, as you enter the Advocacy for Biotoy Adoption as Pets (ABAP) building. Well, it should be the ABAP building, but it is actually the Hasbio building. For some reason, though, the buildings got switched today.

However, as you step into the foyer of the “ABAP” building, you realize that the layout of the supposed Hasbio building is exactly the same as ABAP’s. It doesn’t seem right. You have been to the Hasbio building before, to buy a “pure” Buwwito. That building had two atriums, to match the double helix look of the towers. However, this “ABAP” building, despite looking like the Hasbio building on the outside, is a carbon copy of the ABAP building as you know it on the inside, having only one atrium.

“Is something the matter?”

As Sam asks you this, you try to repeat an unspoken mantra in your head. “It’s opposite day, it’s opposite day.” You are starting to regret getting involved in this whole business. But you want to find out more.

“So, where are we going to see the Fluffsplosion breed?” As you ask, you notice a fluffy nearby, sleeping. It doesn’t conform to either a Type 1 or Type 2 but looks a little like the Sheep-kinta or Emotional Support Fluffies. The yellow fluffy is clearly domesticated. Suddenly, a periscope arises from its back. The periscope looks left and right, then at you, before raising some flags. (>>37954 )

As you stare flabbergasted, Sam explains to you, “That’s one pony of the flluffsplosion breed. One of them”

“What exactly ARE they?!”

As you say this, you see a man holding his fluffy in one hand. Not noticing a banana peel in front of him, he slips. Upon falling to the ground, his fluffy opens up like a Matryoshka doll, revealing another fluffy within it. That fluffy also opens up the moment its hits the ground, revealing a third fluffy within it. (>>29303 )

“Owwies! Fwuffy sowwie huwties. Huu huu.”

As all three disassembled fluffies flail about on the floor, the third smaller one comes apart in half, and reveals a fourth fluffy, the smallest, living within it. The split between each fluffy was fairly clean, and seems biologically impossible.

Sam sighs, as he tries, his very best, to explain. “The Fluffsplosion breed is one of the oldest fluffy breeds to still be produced by Hasbio to this day. But even until now, we still do NOT understand it. Fluffies of this type have been observed to drown at the sight of water, and to be capable of binary fission, much like an amoeba.” (>>56059 )

“What the FUCK are these things?!!” you ask incredulously.

Sam looks at his watch, he then beckons to you. “I’ll take you to the R&D level we were last time. I’ll show you a bit more research we have done on Fluffsplosions. particularly their earlier prototypes.”

As you approach the elevator lobby, your mind harps on that word, prototypes. After his mentioning of the supposed “real” history of the fluffsplosion in that vision in the void, you wonder what horrors await you in the lab.


You are back at the 13th level of the ABAP building and so far, everything seems to be as how you remembered it. You recognized the Food Toxicity Lab, and the Polymer Research, as well as Energy Matter Transference door. However, Mr Adams is taking you to another door, one you had not seen yet. A label on the door reads “Research into the Past.”

As Sam and you step in, you see various ABAP scientists looking at fluffies in enclosures. The enclosures are well kept, with an unbreakable glass layer, and the fluffies seem healthy and fit. However, all the fluffies are of the supposed Fluffsplosion Breed. And, they all have one or two elements that you have not seen in any other fluffy.

The first fluffy that Sam shows you looks like a normal fluffy. Sam then asks it a question.

“Do you remember the toysie I gave you.”

“Oh yus daddeh!”

The fluffy until it rears itself on its hind legs, You then see that it has a pouch, much like a kangaroo. The fluffy proceeds to rummage its pouch, pulling out of it an assortment of items, including a ball, candy, leaves, some raw spaghetti, and a console controller.

“Wait…. Fwuffy sure id in hewe somewhewe,” she says, while she keeps rummaging her marsupialian pouch. (>>13192)

As you stare in disbelief, Sam explains "Back in the 80s, Hasbro made Secret Surprise ponies, which had a hidden compartment that could be opened with a plastic key.

So, when Hasbio first made the fluffies, they tried to replicate some of their unique toys from G1 line. This fluffy here has some marsupial DNA, allowing for a pouch. It has a habit of picking up anything shiny or “interesting” and putting it in that pouch. Hasbio probably included some long lost extras and accessories with the originals. Secret surprise fluffs are very rare these days, and, chances are, if you find one, they’d be on some black market in the dark web."

Sam then takes you to a tub. You see a fluffy peeking out of the water.

“Oh, its a seafluffy!”

However, as you take a good look at it, you realize that its body looks nothing like the seafluffies you have encountered. The body of this seafluff matches more of the common seahorse fish. The “seafluff” then starts to sing a song. ( >>22643 )

"Shoop-bee-doo. Shoop-shoop-bee-doo.

Caww upon da Sea Fwuffies, when Fwuffy in distwess!"

You remark to Sam , "This is like no sea fluffy I’ve seen before.”

“Well, back in G1, the Sea pony looked more like a seahorse, but with a horse head. So, when Hasbio made these seafluffies, the first thing they experimented with remaking their G1 sea pony.”

As Sam narrates, the “sea fluffy” continues to sing

"Caww upon da Sea Fwuffies, Fwuff’ll take fewnd to showe.

Shoop-bee-doo. Shoop-shoop-bee-doo."

The fourth fluffy Sam shows you in the lab looks almost the same as any other fluffy. However, it has crystals for eyes. Remarking on the cruelty, you cry out to Sam, “How could Hasbio do anything like this-” ( >>31450 )

Before you can speak any further, the fluffy with its crystals eyes fires a laser at a teddy bear on a pedestal within its enclosure, setting it on fire. As you reel from the shock of what you just witnessed, Sam explains, “Back in G1, there were these twinkle-eye ponies. They had a little faceted gems in their eyes to make them sparkle. Hasbro, being Hasbro, insisted that they be in the cartoon, because toy commercial. Now imagine a fluffy pony with compound eyes and a severe case of sensory overload. They don’t have many accidents because they don’t really move around much. The eye lasers are something of an unexpected feature with mixed results.”

“How the fuck did you even manage to get your hand on these fluffies?!!”

Sam sighs. He takes in one deep breath, as he can give the best explanation he could.

“Hasbio abandoned them. The Fluffsplosion fluffies were one of the earliest breeds to be produced, as well as their main ‘testing’ breed. A lot of failed ideas that do not work on other fluffies, or they are unsure of, they attempt it on a Fluffsplosion fluffy first. I haven’t showed you the bomber bay fluffies.” ( >>38000 )

“But it just seems so cruel.”

“I know. But I’m going to be honest with you, there is one more thing about Fluffsplosions I’ll have to show you. And for that, I’ll have to take you back to the Energy-Matter Transference research.”

Sam takes you to the same Energy-Matter transference lab door. You expect the same lab you saw last time. The equipment. the cardboard boxes. And the door at the centre of it all.

Instead, upon opening the lab door, you witness the interior of an elevator.

“Wait a minute I thought this was-”

“Was what?”

Both Sam and you get inside the elevator. He presses a button on the panel that says “32”.


Remembering that elevators at the ABAP building only went up to 30, you inquire Sam on the matter.

“Last time you told me that there’s a Helipad on the 30th floor."

“Yes, that is the roof”

"So why are we going to the 32nd floor.”

“Thats where the lab is"

This day keeps getting weirder, and weirder.

You then ask him, “What’s on the 31st floor?”

“We don’t talk about the 31st floor.”


Both Sam and you have reach the 32nd floor. Upon exiting the elevator, you enter a airlock of sorts, complete with protection suits to don.

“We have to put them on.”

Upon following the standard procedure, and being sprayed with the disinfectant, both of you enter the laboratory.


The lab on the 32nd floor seems similar to the previous lab you were in. Except that this time, all the scientists are busy observing one Fluffsplosion fluffy in an enclosure. Adjacent to it is another enclosure that is entirely empty. Both enclosures are separated by a thick wall of concrete.

You cannot believe your eyes.

As demonstrated before the other scientists in the lab, Sam, and yourself, the Fluffsplosion fluffy literally walks right through the concrete wall, like as though it was nothing. ( >>49013 )

“Then’s only the half of it. There are times when it will split itself into two, and then play volleyball.”

“But surely the wall would keep out the ball? I mean, only the fluffy can break the laws of physics.”

“Alas, no. The fluffsplosions fluffies are capable of not only bypassing wall, but also imparting their capabilities to various object. So far, we’ve seen this imparted on immobile objects.”

Taking out his smartphone, Sam shows you footage of a man holding a balloon dog

“A fluffsplosion fluffy touched this balloon dog.”

Within seconds, the ballon dog reforms itself, until it becomes an AK-47 machine gun. ( >>23384 )

“Un-fuckin’-believable. This is crazy”

It then dawns on you.

“Are these the fluffies in the boxes?”

Sam looks left and right. He checks the fluffy. So far, the fluffy in the test chamber doesn’t seem able to hear them, as the glass shielding the scientists from the Fluffsplosion fluffy is a two-way mirror.

"Yes. The bizarre capabilities of the Fluffsplosion allows it to generate the energy, as well as bend reality, to the extent that we have used it to achieve minor teleportation. It does have its risks, though.

Also, now that we’re in a safe room, I guess it is about time I told you about Filialcacophonies."

And for the first time, with the mention of that breed’s name, you don’t hear the “SWAG” sound. You make a guess that this was the safe spot Sam was talking about.


397041 (1)

Before Sam can finish his sentence, a random fluffy comes out of literal nowhere, and licks him!


As one of the scientists yell this, various security personnel start chasing the fluffy that licked Sam. As the security personnel do this, you noticed a fluffy that resembles Rainbow Dash, chasing a foal. The foal looks remarkably like Scootaloo. However, the Rainbow Dash looks like a Type 1 fluffy, while the Scootaloo looked like a Type 2 fluffy.

12898 - shady_smarty_tribute you_know_you_wanted_it_to_happen

Sam is rather furious at the moment.

“Who the hell opened a box?!! How the ever living FUCK did not one but THREE Inkie Pies get out of their boxes?!!”

Sam buries his face in his palms, as the security personnel keep chasing the fluffies. They managed to detain the first perpetrator, while the Dash and Scootaloo are a bit harder to chase.

“Bloody shitty Morganite Security. I’m going to sue Nwabudike Morgan for this,” mutters Sam under his breath. He then turns to you.

“We need to move to the adjacent lab,” he tells you, as he takes a good look at the Dashie and Scootaloo. ( >>12898 )

“There’s been a change of plans. We have to review the Inkie Pies first.”


( >>8414 >>8433 >>8435 >>8436 )

Sam leads you to a door with the label “Elemental Inkie Pies.” As you step into the adjacent laboratory, you notice that it is a circular lab, divided into four quadrants, each quadrant holding a fluffy of some odd sort. One quadrant is filled with fire, another with water, a third with lightning, and a fourth with air.

As you circle around the fluffies, and listen to the sounds, you realize that each fluffy is no longer a biological entity, or a robot, but a literal, perhaps even magical, representation of an element. You are in awe as you behold each of the four elemental Fluffies. One of lightning. One of fire. One of water. and one of air. As you review the four Elemental Fluffies in their glass enclosures in open-mouthed awe, you whisper the incredulous question laying at the back of your mind.

“How is any of this even possible? Just what are Inkie Pies?”

"We don’t know. We really don’t know. What we know is that, like the Fluffsplosion, and the Fillialcacophony, the Inkie Pies were capable of breaking the laws of physics to such a degree that they could surpass the biological form. These four elemental fluffies are the last remnants of that experiment.

Most Inkie Pies have not survived. They were a very primordial breed, and one of the earliest done in testing. I’m surprised that woman even owned one, but considering what is happening today, it seems to be that this day is a day or miracles."

“Or a day of nightmares.”

Sam’s previously optimistic smile straightens a bit. A neutral feeling, balancing between grimness, and happiness.


Sometimes, I feel like Fluffies are a dream. A dream can be nice, but it can also be a nightmare. But the thing about a dream is that it is an illusion. It is not real. If fluffies have a dreamlike quality to them, then maybe they aren’t real."

“I wonder if I’m in a dream right now.”

“Maybe you are, lass. Maybe you might even be a fluffy, dreaming herself to be a human.”

Sam sighs, as he makes the decision that you’ve been waiting all day to hear.

“I guess I can show you what a Fillialcacophony is like.”


Mr Adams brings you to a large vault. The other labs are no longer under lockdown, and the three missing Inkie Pies have been apprehended. You are wondering why there is so much security for this one fluffy breed, the Fillialcacophony. But, after seeing all the ways reality had been bending and blending today, you can’t help but feel that maybe, Sam should NOT open this vault.

After pressing a few buttons, turning a few knows, the vault door opens.


There is nothing, Only a void.

“Oh no.”

Sam had opened the vault door, expecting the high security laboratory equipment and enclosures, as well as round-the-clock staff that monitor the Fillialcacophony breed. But none of that is here.

Only darkness. Black. empty darkness.

In the black ink of the ocean of shadow, a light suddenly shines, as if a spotlight from the heavens opens up, focusing, on a fluffy, in the middle of the room.

It is a Joseph, the Squeakyfriend you met not too long ago.

He is standing before the cardboard box


"Dis onwy da beginin! Da end wiww come fow aww hummehs! It wiww end da onwy way it can! Hummehs wiww dwown in da fiehs, an earfs, an wa-was. Aww faww down! Aww wiww pewish! (>>862 )

Wong wive da rewowushun!"

Like a fluffy lifting up a building block as if to play, Joseph lifts the lid off the box.


Sam dives head first into darkness. Whether or not he has reached Joseph, it is too late. Joseph has opened the box before he could reach him.

As Joseph looks at you, you feel a slight dizziness. It is as if your vision is starting to melt

And then, you sleep.


You wake up.

You’re at the ground level of the ABAP building. You are no longer in the protective gear you had to wear earlier.

It is still daytime. The vicinity seems devoid of commoners. You can see the security personnel that Sam contracted from CEO Nwabudike Morgan’s company checking the parameters.

None of them seem to notice the one fluffy that is right in front of you. You try to make contact with the stray.

“Hello, friend.”


52055 - animated artist fillialcacophony bipedal blood gif intestines kids_these_days questionable walking weirdbox

To your shock horror, the fluffy stands up, like as though its hinds legs were human legs, and proceeds to remove its bottom half of skin and fluff, like as though it were a pair of pants. Walking about in a trail of blood, the half gutted fluffy runs, as you stare in abject horror. ( >>52055 )

You look behind you. You see a squad of Morganite Security Personnel, armed with machine guns. Using hang signals, they creep into the elevator lobby.


As the elevator door opens, various fluffies come out. One with a machine gun. One with a pogo stick. A Batfluff. A fluffy with a DDR mat. And many others. The security personnel are overwhelmed within seconds, as they are covered in tomato sauce and boo-boo juice.

The squad leader, upon seeing the massacre, motions to one of his to bring out the bazookas. At the same time, a fluffy, with an admiral hat, orders his subordinates to bring their pregnant dams.

4302 - animated artist fillialcacophony helmet rocket_launcher scootafluff scootato6030 - animated artist fillialcacophony cannon fluffy_pony foal gif pregnant


As he does so, the bazooka fires a rocket propelled Scootafluff, which flies towards the herd. In response, and upon the Admiral’s order, some heavy toughies land on the dams, and the ejected foals fly out. ( >>4302 , >>6030 )

There’s blood, death and gore everywhere. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, you see two Inkie Pies fucking like there is no tomorrow.

12839 - artist inkiepie enf.enf questionable


Behind you, the mafioso fluffy towers above you, a crawling mass, trying to avoid detection.

“Fuhgeddabout tryna run away. If this were New Yahk, you’d be sleeping with da fishes.”

17324 - animated artist fillialcacophony fluffy_al_capone gif gun safe thompson_smg tommy_gun

He then proceeds to shoot at you with his Tommy gun. ( >>17324 )

For the moment, he seems to be shooting at the floor, just to scare you. You get on your feet and start running. Across the atrium, as the security personnel and the Fillialcacophony fluffies clash, spaghetti and tomato juice keeps flying everywhere, along with the death screams on both sides.

You try to figure out where is the safest place to get to.

Outside, of course!

You make a beeline for the entrance, as its not cordoned off.


As you jump through the entrance, you realize that the daylight was a mere façade. You are now in the void. Behind you, a huge spotlight rains down light on the Hasbio building, rendering everything else in the shadow.

In the dark, you see flashes of a ghostly apparition. ( >>21503)


A spotlight shines on you. Behind you, is a wooden door. And in front of you, are three fluffies. One Inkie Pie, one fluffsplosion, and one Fillialcacophony ( >>12909 >>44812 >>3285 )

136853512909 - questionable wuv_sketties_suu_much 68274

As the three fluffies come closer to you, you put your hand in front of them, as you fall down, your back against the door. You yell out, pleading for mercy, “STAY BACK!”

The fillialcacophony fluffy gives you a smug look. A pair of sunglasses falls neatly into place on its face, as it says “Deaw wif it.”

As all three fluffies attack you while chanting the word Sketti, you reach for the door know, in a desperate attempt to escape,

However, in doing so, the door fucking shatters, into a black hole. You feel your body dragged into the black hole, and turning into a literal spaghetti as you for helpppp.p..

An image of a fluffy in the dark, followed by a pair of red eyes is the last thing you see as you dissolve into the void. ( >>16267 )


Followed by that unearthly word.


Continued in Part 5


Well. This was something.

This story does take place in the chronology of the Sam Adams Guide, but it is only semi-canon. At roughly about 10 - 25% canon. This was originally written for April Fools day on Fluffybooru, back on April 1st of 2020, but with the death of the booru it was first reuploaded on the subreddit on Halloween. Since I can’t wait until April Fools or Halloween 2021, its uploaded now, as part of my attempt to reupload the rest of the series to the new site.

Some notes:

  • @fluffsplosion has a lot of great ideas. While writing this, I could already think of a potential tribute fic to her work

  • Inkie Pie had a surprising amount of original ideas, some of which are not covered here

  • And Fillialcacophony, 'nuff said. The true King of Weirdbox. His feature on “Meet the Booru” is definitely worth a watch

  • the fight between the bazooka men and the pregnant dam cannons was depicted on the booru by having both pictures placed side by side, to simulate the idea of both sides firing foals at each other. The booru’s formatting allowed this to be displayed, but I couldn’t get the same effect here.

  • the text written at the start of the chapter is taken from a copypasta that was circulating on /b/ during the 2015 to 2018 era. The depiction of fluffies as hellgremlins may be inspired by this copypasta.

  • I initially was going to upload some other content to archive, to coincide with the reupload of this fic, but I realized that its better to reupload this part on its own, to add a little mystery to the content within

  • next time on the Sam Adams Guide! The Postfluff!



What in the fuck did I just read?

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The setup for Part 5. Part 5 is a tribute to Mutagen’s Postfluff, along with KMEB’s Supe_Fluff (or Super Fwuff).

That was also the reaction I was going for while writing this part


Well I loved it. Can’t wait for part 5.


Yo whaaat. Is this like an alternate reality scenario?

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Yes. It was written for April Fools Day, but was also also written to set up Part 5

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I did not read a single word in this post,(expect the title), but simply injoyed the animations!

So i have no clue what this post was about :sweat_smile:

This anthology is the most unconventional story I’ve ever read.

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