Fluffspeak Primer (by: Fey)

Fluffspeak - A Primer

By Fey


Fluffies were designed to be friendly, happy, and absurdly cute (for some board director’s idea of ‘cute’). As a result, fluffykind uses a peculiar English dialect dubbed Fluffspeak.

The following rules and examples are intended to help content creators create ‘cutesy’, readable, and canon-consistent speech for their fluffies.

(For the sake of reducing clutter, I have forgone the convention of using quotation marks to denote quoted words and have instead employed underlining.)


PRIMARY FLUFFSPEAK


01: THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK

  • Replace each and every r and l with a w.
  • (And replace each and every R and L with a W.)
  • This is the primary fluffy lisp, the minimum requirement for qualifying as Fluffspeak.
  • THE GOLDEN COROLLARY OF FLUFFSPEAK
  • Do NOT add any extra ws or Ws beyond those added for THE GOLDEN RULE.
  • FWUFFY NAMES
  • 90% of all fluffy names contain at least one r or l in its human pronunciation. It is hilarious and adorable when a fluffy can’t even say its own name right.

02: THE PHYRITIC RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK

  • Be consistent! Whichever speech rules you use in a universe (which can be as small as an isolated story), apply those rules for all Fluffspeak in that verse.
  • THE PHYRITIC RULE can be broken by particular, established cases: regional dialects, a fluffy of unusual intelligence, a fluffy taught words by a human or a wise mentor, etc. If you do something like that, then the speech patterns of each group/individual need to be kept consistent unless something happens to change them. (After which, be consistent again until…)

03: THE SILVER RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK

  • Your Fluffspeak needs to be fluidly comprehensible to the reader. (speech from drunk fluffies and the like excluded)
  • If any words or sentences have been deformed beyond easy comprehension, lighten up on the deformations.
  • ALWAYS reread your Fluffspeak, preferably both in your head and out loud (turn your voice up a few octaves for best results).
  • This rule does NOT supersede THE GOLDEN RULE.

04: FLUFFIES DO NOT USE FIRST-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS

  • I, me
  • A fluffy will never use I or me to refer to itself. If a fluffy has a name, title, or descriptor (Emewawd, smawty, mummah, etc) the fluffy can use that in their place. A fluffy can always use fwuffy to refer to itself.
  • In some canons, a named fluffy will always use fwuffy when lying.

05: FLUFFIES & OTHER FIRST-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS

  • us, we; my, mine; our, ours
  • It is greatly preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead use a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy’s, smawty’s, Jewew’s, etc; fwuffies, hewd, famiwy, etc; fwuffies’, hewd’s, famiwy’s, etc.

06: FLUFFIES & THIRD-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS

  • he, she, it; him, her; his, hers, its
  • It is preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead replace them with a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy, Daddeh, nice wady, bwuddah, etc; fwuffy’s, Daddeh’s, nice wady’s, bwuddah’s, etc.
  • The above words can be used if replacing them clutters up a sentence too much.

07: FLUFFIES & SECOND-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS

  • you; your
  • Fluffies can use yu and yuw. They are just as likely to use a name, title, or descriptor, though.
  • (I reason that the direct-address nature of you is simpler to grasp than third person pronouns [you always just means whomever the fluffy is talking to] and less abstract than first-person pronouns [a fluffy thinks of itself as a fluffy, not an ‘I’].)
    ~ Dis am yuw beddie / Dis am yu beddie / Dis am Wavenda’s beddie.

08: BEING VERBS

  • is, am, are, etc; + will
  • Fluffies frequently replace is or are with am.
    ~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies am sneakie!
    ~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh am bestest babbeh.
  • Fluffies sometimes completely leave out is, are, am, will, etc.
    ~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies sneakie!
    ~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh bestest babbeh.
    ~ I, Rex, will be the best fluffy ever. > Wex be bestest fwuffy evah!

09: ARTICLES

  • a, an, the
  • Fluffies sometimes leave out articles.
    ~ But I am not a toy. > But fwuffy nu am toy…

10: NOT TO BE

  • When a fluffy is saying that subject Y is not thing/quality X; it usually takes the form of Y nu [is/am/transitive verb] X.
    ~ This is not spaghetti. > Dis nu am sketties!
    ~ [This] foal smells bad. > Babbeh nu smeww pwetty.
    ~ I am not a mother anymore. > Fwuffy nu am mummah nu mowe! Huuhuuhuu!

11: THE STANDARD FLUFFY DICTIONARY (AKA FLUFFYISMS)

  • Fluffies have a built-in (or otherwise universal) set of words for things and concepts that are expected to be common to the fluffy experience. A baby is a babbeh, milk is miwkies, water is wawa, and so on. Fluffies can (by some canons) be taught other words for those common concepts, but these words are the default words a fluffy will use.
  • A larger list is given at the end of this document.

12: LURK MORE!

  • The best way to learn Fluffspeak is to read it. Go back and read some of the classic authors of the Booru.
  • There are all kinds of little things that can be done with Fluffspeak: dropping words, smushing two small words into a single word, alternate cutesy spellings, etc. Some options are listed below, but there are still other things that can be done.

OPTIONAL THINGS


  • THE SILVER RULE applies heavily here. Do not deform words beyond recognition.
  • Many of the deformations here share similarities with various Fluffyisms; even if you don’t use a general application of a deformation, retain the forms of related Fluffyisms.

13: FROM THERE TO DEWE

  • th*
  • For small, common words that begin with th, Fluffspeak can replace the th with a d (also Th with D).
  • As with other letter replacements, it is important to not deform a word beyond recognition. Ex, turning their into deiw doesn’t flow well.
    ~ the > da, de
    ~ this > dis
    ~ that > dat
    ~ they > dey
    ~ there > dewe
    ~ those > dose
    ~ these > dese

14: NUUUUUUUU!

  • *o, others
  • For small, common words that end in a long o or long u sound, that part of the word can be replaced with a u. This softens the word and makes it more suitable to the high-pitched voice of the fluffy or makes the word look more ‘cutesy’.
    ~ to > tu
    ~ no > nu
    ~ so > su
    ~ go > gu
    ~ do > du
    ~ you > yu
    ~ new > nyu
    ~ know > knu, kno, no

15: EH

  • *y, others
  • If a word with two or more syllables ends with a long e sound, that part of the word can be replaced with eh.
    ~ kitty > kitteh
    ~ baby > babbeh
    ~ funny > funneh
    ~ runny > wunneh
    ~ daddy > daddeh

16: AH

  • *er
  • If a word with two or more syllables ends with er, the er can be replaced with ah.
    ~ litter > wittah
    ~ other > udah (Applies multiple deformations. Very fancy)
    ~ thriller > thwiwwah
    ~ bother > bothah
    ~ monster > munstah

17: IE

  • Some words get an ie slapped on to the end because of cutesy.
  • Some words with this actually get sie to make the sounds fit; useful for words that end in a vowel sound.
  • Plurals are then made by placing an s on the end, even for nouns that are usually irregular.
    ~ toy > toysie; toysies
    ~ hoof > hoofie; hoofies
    ~ block > bwockie; bwockies
    ~ grass > gwassie; gwassies
    ~ sheep > sheepie; sheepies

18: COMBOS

  • Dependent on headcanon: fluffies understand the world through the limited concepts available to them, but these concepts fill few gaps in the wide and scary world. A fluffy may have to mash together two or more existing concepts to describe something. X plus Y = X-Y. This can either result in a simple word mash (a new thing that is both X & Y) or, as I prefer, an entirely new and independent concept (a new thing that IS an X-Y)
    ~ Maybe fluffies don’t naturally know what a car is. They do, however, know metaw (hard surface/material, can cause owwies) and munstah (scary, loud, mysterious). Combining the two gives them metaw-munstah, a mysterious and powerful entity that is the fearsome predator of the black-rockies places.
    ~ A cloud can be a sky-fwuffy.
    ~ A phone can be a tawkie-boxie.
    ~ A dumpster can be a nummies-boxie.
    ~ A forest can be a twee-pwace or a big-twee-pwace.
    ~ Acid might be meanie-buwnie-wawa, meanie-huwtie-wawa, huwtie-buwnie-wawa, or even meanie-huwtie-buwnie-wawa.
  • The concepts these describe do not have to be completely unfamiliar concepts. Niche or particularly specific items work too.
    ~ A strike with a hoof is a sowwy-hoofie.
    ~ Feces inside the litter box are gud-poopies.

19: CONTRACTIONS

  • SILVER RULE; use sparingly
  • Some very-common words can be reduced by a few letters to make them sound more cutesy.
    ~ or > o’
    ~ for > fo’
    ~ and > an’
    ~ *-ing > *-in’
    ~ away > 'way

20: SESQUIPEDALIANS

  • You’ve got some options when it comes to fluffies speaking long words.
    ~ Speak them normally with the usual fluffy lisp: Sesquipedowians
    ~ Break them down into shorter bits and speak slowly: Ses-qui-ped-owi-ans
    ~ Either of the above two, but horribly mangle it by the end: Sesquipedocious, Ses-qui-pe-doc-ious
    ~ Have the fluffy stutter over it for a bit then switch to another word: Ses-qui-pef…quid-pee…biggest wowdsies!

DERPSPEAK


  • Derped fluffies have a special kind of mental retardation. They commonly exhibit ‘derped’ eyes, non-sequitur thinking, and a particular brand of speech impediment.
  • The speech impediment is more marble-mouthed than the usual fluffy voice. Some headcanon has it that derped fluffies can’t properly control their tongues.

21: DERB!

  • In Derpspeak, some consonants of some words are replaced with bs. Some ls are allowed.
    ~ fwiend > fbwend
    ~ daddeh > dabbleh
    ~ babbeh > blabbeh
    ~ sketties > skebbies!
    ~ mummah > mubbah
    ~ nice mistah > nibe mibtuh

22: DERPDERP!

  • Derped fluffies may sometimes remake simple words by doubling part of the word.
  • Plurals are then made by adding an s to the end of the remade word.
    ~ bad > badbad
    ~ owwie > owow; owows
    ~ saddies > sadsads
    ~ nummie > numnum; numnums

23: LERKMOAR

  • Derped fluffies can also variously screw up sentence structure, lose words, replace words with the wrong word, etc. Sometimes they completely replace a word in their internal ‘dictionary’.
  • Derpspeak is wild and nuanced. Read stories with derped fluffies in them to learn their language. There are a lot of good ones, including a few great series.
  • THE SILVER RULE applies unless incomprehensibility of the derped fluffy is intentional.

FLUFFTHINK


  • Fluffthink is used for a fluffy’s internal thoughts and for the non-dialog narration of a story told from a fluffy’s point-of-view.

24: THE MERCURIC RULE OF FLUFFTHINK

  • Do NOT follow THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK.
  • If a fluffy isn’t vocalizing, don’t use those extra ws; the w thing is a lisp, and you don’t think with a lisp.
  • Really. It is a headache to read lisped narration. I used it in my first story, and it was a mess. Even if you can read it fine, most of your audience can NOT.

25: THE OBSIDIAN RULE OF FLUFFTHINK

  • DO use Fluffyisms.
  • Fluffyisms are the terms fluffies think in. A block to a fluffy IS a blockie. (It then becomes bwockie when they speak and lisp it.)

26: SILVER AND GULD

  • Other than the two stated rules, things are flexible.
  • Fluffthink generally follows the primary Fluffspeak rules, but it doesn’t have to.
  • Adherence to optional things used in Fluffspeak is even looser.
  • THE PHYRITIC and SILVER RULES hold sway here: be consistent WITHIN your Fluffthink and make it readable.

27: VISUALIZE

  • If you are drawing a pic and include a though-bubble with a small amount of Fluffthink, THE MERCURIC RULE can be ignored.
  • However, you can also turn the thought-bubble into a speech-bubble; fluffies babble frequently, saying whatever is on their mind as though they lack an internal monologue. This behavior may vary on how carefree a fluffy’s life experiences have made it, though.

FLUFFYISMS


  • As explained earlier, fluffies have a set of universally-altered words. Some are altered to sound ‘cuter’, and some are changed to disguise topics like death and sex from the marketed child demographic (and sometimes from the child-like fluffies themselves).

  • This list is NOT comprehensive

  • This list is NOT absolute. It’s a good guide, but some listed Fluffyisms are more universal among headcanon than others.

  • Except for the ‘Very Special Words’, fluffies generally recognize and understand both the human and fluffy forms of a word. However, they still only use the fluffy form unless urged or taught otherwise. Varies by headcanon.

FLUFFIES (applicable to non-fluffies)

baby > babbeh, foaw
brother > bwuddah, bwuthah, others
father > daddeh
earth pony > eawthie, eawth fwuffie, fwuffy
enforcer, guard, soldier > toughie, toughie-fwiend
female, adult > mawe
female, child > fiwwy
fetus > tummeh-babbeh, soon-babbeh
leader > smawty, smawty-fwiend
male, adult > stawwion
male, child > cowt
mother > mummah, mumma
pegasus > wingie-fwiend, pegasus
pregnant mare > soon-mummah
sister > sissie, sistah, others
unicorn > pointy-fwiend, unicown

COMMON THINGS

bed > beddie
blocks > bwockies
box > boxie
clothes, fabric > not-fwuff
{crying} > huuhuuhuu!
day > bwight-time
food > nummies, nummehs
happiness > happies
house > housie
hug > huggie
human > hoomin, humin, by name if known, others
love > wuv
milk > miwkies
monster > munstah
moon > dawk-time-sky-baww
nest > nestie
night > dawk-time
owner, female > mummah
owner, male > daddeh
plushie, stuffed animal > stuffy-fwiend
sadness > saddies
sleep > sweepies
spaghetti > SKETTIES!!!
sun > sky-baww, bwight-sky-baww
tears > saddie-wawas
TV > teevee, teebee
unfamiliar human, female > [nice/meanie] wady, hoomin mawe, hoomin fiwwy
unfamiliar human, male > [nice/meanie] mistah, hoomin stawwion, hoomin cowt
water > wawa (am bad fo’ fwuffies!)

ANATOMY (non-sexual)

brain > thinkie-pwace
chest > chestie
ear > heaw-pwace, eawsie
eye > see-pwace, eyesie
hair > fwuff
hair on head > mane, head-fwuff
hand > not-hoofie
head > headie, thinkie-pwace
hoof > hoofie
leg > weggie
mouth > mouthie, moufie
tooth > toothie, toofie
nose > nosie, sniffy-pwace
stomach > tummy

VERY SPECIAL WORDS

anus > poopie-pwace
birth > biggest-poopies
blood > boo-boo-juice
mammary, fluffy > miwkie-pwace
mammary, human > miwkie-pwace, squishy-thing, soft-thing, others
death > fowevah-sweepies
feces > poopies
injury > huwtie, owwie
mate > speshuw-fwiend
orgasm > gud-feews
pain > owwies, huwties
penis > speshuw-pwace, no-no-stick, others
semen > speshuw-juice, no-no-juice, sticky juice, babbeh juice
sex > speshuw-huggies
testicles > speshuw-wumps, no-no-wumps
{coital grunting} > enf enf enf
urine > peepees
vagina > speshuw-pwace, no-no-pwace, others
vomit > sickie-wawas

OTHER WORDS

best, great > bestest
broken, retarded, deformed > dummeh
dumb, stupid, imbecilic > stoopid, stoopi, dummeh
eat > num
give > gif
good > gud
have > haf
how long until > how time tiww
mean > meanie
most > mostest
now > nao, naow
ugly, unappealing, unwanted, smells/looks like poop > poopie
want > wan
worst, very bad > wowstest

a thing that causes suffering, ostensibly for the purpose of evoking remorse

sowwy-[object]
~ sowwy-stick
~ sowwy-hoofie
~ sowwy-bwick

animal, not scary

[name/descriptor]-fwiend, [animal name]
~ meow-meow-fwiend
~ kitty-fwiend
~ fwuttah-fwiend

animal, scary!

[name/descriptor]-munstah, [animal name]
~ hissy-munstah
~ doggie-munstah
~ wingie-munstah

personified object

[name/descriptor]-fwiend, [name/descriptor]-munstah, mistah [name/descriptor]
~ computah-fwiend
~ vwoom-vwoom-munstah
~ mistah doow

62 Likes

Undoubtedly a very important lore piece

10 Likes

Thank you so much for posting this. Very important info, definitely saving it

8 Likes

Bookmarked. Definitely using for the future.

9 Likes

Thank you, this is simply amazingly detailed

5 Likes

How did I miss this, it’s very useful!

2 Likes

This is one of the things we plan to add to the hopefully-soon-forthcoming FAQ

5 Likes

Lovely, that would be an amazing resource.

2 Likes

I just wanted to say I couldn’t write my stories without this reference. Thank you so much @Feyascia

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